As If I Know… The Top 10 List Of What And What Not To Do In Relationships

For most of us who’s been intimately involved in a relationship with someone beyond that infatuation stage, we all know that relationships can be like a time bomb or a roller coaster ride. When things are going good, then they can be very good. When things start to sour, they can get very, very bad. Here is a Top 10 List.. one for women and one for men, on the ten things to do or not to do in relationships.

For Men

Things To DO
1. Always listen intently to your partner without offering any advice if she doesn’t ask for it
2. Trust as well as respect her
3. View and treat her as an equal partner in your relationship
4. Offer support when she gets emotional. She’s looking for a sounding board, understanding, but not solutions
5. Continue the courtship, even after she has committed to you. Continuously create romance in your relationship
6. Make sure you do the little things regularly. A woman likes it that you call her at work just to say, “I love you”, or if you buy say a new TV for the living room. Small thoughtful things are worth just as much as the big ones
7. Honor and keep any agreements that you have made with her
8. Constantly encourage her life goals and direction
9. Find out what she likes to do and then do them with her
10. Make sure you say, “I’m sorry” when you have done something that you regret, or if you are hurtful to her, whether it was intentional or not

Things Not To Do
1. Never go to bed upset or angry with your partner, settle things that night
2. Try not offering advice or a solution when your partner is just looking for you to listen to her without comment
3. Pretend you are listening to her when you really aren’t
4. Do not shut your partner out, when you’re looking to sort things out in your own head. Just explain that you need space, and you are not angry with her
5. Never criticize your partner, especially on her appearance
6. Never yell at your partner, as if you were her father
7. Never take every word that she says literally. Women, when they are upset, will speak in absolutes, such as say… “You NEVER listen to me;” when what she really means is… you are not listening to me at that exact moment
8. Never allow jealousy to erode your trust, or the love and respect of your relationship
9. Never step over the line and violate her privacy
10. Do Not forget special occasions

Men and women are different and communicate differently, they have different needs as well as desires, and their relationship challenges are not the same. Learning the differences can help in strengthening the relationship that you have now and in the future. John Gray said this in his revolutionary book, Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus.

The Women’s List follows:
For Women

Things To Do
1. When you are looking for more quality time with your partner, make sure you make the time that you do have as positive as possible
2. Trust and always respect him
3. Stop nagging so much
4. Make sure you allow time away from you, without always giving him the third degree
5. Appreciate the little things and tell him so
6. Try making love creatively and as often as possible. Do not be afraid to be the initiator
7. Honor any agreements that you have made with him
8. Support his goals and life direction
9. Make sure you ask for what you want! (No matter how much he loves you, he cannot read your mind, tell him verbally and not by signals)
10. Accept “No” gracefully when they happen, trusting that he would if he could


Things Not To Do
1. Never to bed upset or angry with your partner, resolve things
2. Do not insist he always share his thoughts and feelings with you. Talking about feelings is more what women do and need
3. Never attempt a conversation with your partner during a good movie, TV show or sporting event
4. Do not continue to “give” in what you think is a lopsided relationship, especially when you are at a point of resentment
5. Never openly criticize him or put him down, especially for the things he does
6. Do not scold your partner as if you were his mom
7. Do not use sex as a weapon or prize for his good behavior or withhold sex as punishment for “bad” behavior
8. Do not compare him to some fictional fantasy character in a movie, book, or soap drama and then find him lacking
9. Do not violate his privacy
10. Never try to change him. Appreciate him for who he is right now

There is so much to learn about satisfying your relationship that your parents never shared, told or showed you. Do your best not to become one of the negative statistics of divorce or worse. But on the other hand, stay away from miserable relationships, just to honor your marriage vows, while having a lot of regrets about your life as time ticks away.

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