There are particular identifying markers when it comes to recognizing pathological narcissists around us, clinical definitions, this based on case studies of this personality disorder. This effects everyone who needs to cope, work, or live with them.
Some traits of the classical narcissist includes a grandiose feeling of self-importance, preoccupied fantasies of unlimited power, success, brilliance, beauty. They believe that they’re genuinely special or unique, fishes for admiration, a sense of entitlement.
Other common traits include a lack of empathy towards others, displaying an unwillingness to identify or recognize the needs and feelings of those when in need.
They will also often become envious of others once they’ve achieve success, while believing that everyone is extremely envious of them. They can be rude and are arrogant. Remind you of anyone?
Don’t Like Criticism
Once anyone has a negative evaluation of their personality or performance, they become vulnerable, will hastily change the subject, or will respond as if they were asked something completely different.
They can dish it out well, but can’t take any verbal abuse back, this because of their huge ego which is artificially inflated, so they can’t handle the truth when presented to them.
Their ego is sensitive and easily punctured. Despite their tough exterior, a single challenge on their character can deflate them as they’re low in self-esteem.
Narcissists And Low Self Esteem
Since they think so grand about themselves, what’s ironic is that you’d think that they would have high self-regard, and be extremely high in confidence.
Since they appear to be so driven, it’s not uncommon that they’ll rise to positions of influence and power, while amassing sums of money.
But once you look under the surface dirt, look below the ego of these sociopaths, what’s typically found is a deep degree of insecurity, this beyond anything they’re willing to reveal.
This is why they’re constantly driven to prove themselves right, this to others as well as their low confident inner self child.
Their self-doubt is hidden well from sight, but there’s no doubt they’re afflicted with feelings of fear and inferiority. So they put up a brave face, and they’re highly skilled at it, posturing.
Their deep insecurities come to the surface when they’re constantly fishing for compliments, their penchant to brag and boast about their often exaggerated achievements, often complimenting themselves.
Extremely Defensive While Self Righteous
They need to protect their massive yet fragile egos, easily becoming defensive. They despise being challenged, as doing so activates their self protective mechanisms.
This the reason why it’s difficult to get logic through to them when in situations of conflict, as if their survival depends on being right or justified.
They’ll rarely admit wrong or a mistake, don’t have the strength to utter “I’m sorry,” and will never back down, even if they know they’re in the wrong.
They have an arrogant, “My way or the highway” attitude when making decisions. They’re annoyingly competitive and stubborn, determined that their point of view will prevail.
This conceals their underlying self-doubt that they’re not good enough, strong or smart enough. Once their privileged and pretentious exaggerated self-image becomes endangered, they get angry.
Anger Towards Contrary Viewpoints
Anything that’s challenged to them that’s contrary, the common reaction of narcissists is to become upset, outbursts which skirts a borderline personality disorder.
It’s not usually the fear of abandonment which brings out their rage, but they’ll react with heated emotion, this when others bring forward their deepest insecurities to the surface.
The reason why these feelings of anger and rage emerge is because they’re externalizing their painful anxiety, or it could be the shame related to their emotions hiding dormant.
When they’re on the verge of experiencing some type of hurt or humiliation from their past, the rage then conveniently exposes other unwanted feelings.
The accompanying message that’s revealed is that, “I’m not wrong, bad, or mean, etc., but you are,” or, “I’m not narcissistic, and if I am then so are you.”
The mentally strong healthy person has no idea what provoked this outburst in the first place, this sudden rage, making them feel baffled as well as hurt, confused, and maybe even frightened.
Projects Traits Others Don’t Have
They’ll conceal or ignore their weaknesses or deficits in their self-image, while redirecting unfavorable appraisal of themselves towards others.
Narcissists attempting to get close to confronting the darkness of their innermost core to them is scary, this because their emotional resources to do so are extremely underdeveloped.
Their usually rigid, unyielding defensive system can be seen as being defining to their entire personality, so they continue to validate themselves and feel safe by devaluing or denigrating others.
So what they’ll do is focus instead on the flaws of others, this regardless if they exist or not, this rather than acknowledge or solve their own issues.
They Violate Interpersonal Boundaries
Narcissists have a difficult time knowing where they end and where the other person begins. They subconsciously view others as being an extension of themselves.
They think other people exist primarily to serve them and their wants, as they’ll commonly place their needs ahead of others, even their own kids.
What ever it is narcissists seek to give themselves, what they generally expect to get from others, displays another dimension of their self-entitlement.
Their lack of boundaries and their poor interpersonal skills, prompts them to inappropriately dominate conversations, while sharing intimate details about their life, embarrassingly.
Certain private disclosures should be kept private, but they have no sense of shame, as they’re likely to share things which most would be humiliated to admit.
Yet, regardless of how others might react to what they say, they’ll blurt out or even boast about them. Conversations most may find as tasteless, insulting, demeaning, or offensive.
The Narcissists Among Us
There are certain characterizations when it comes to pathological narcissists, and hopefully, you can identify them before its too late.
If you need to deal with one, or been duped or manipulated, then hopefully, you can prevent them from instilling further havoc in your life.