What most don’t realize is there’s a significant step you can take right now, which can alter whatever it is you’re wanting to change, for the better. It’s the choice to move away from being constantly judgmental, towards a state of showing empathy. First for yourself, which then affects everyone around you.
Empathy is defined as a deep caring for the pain or distress someone is feeling, which is accompanied with a desire to help.
There’s nothing that feels better, more fulfilling and comforting than showing your empathetic state to someone, when responding to their painful experiences.
Empathy however, is never described as something you give to yourself, yet showing this self love is usually the starting point.
There’s a need to show this empathy towards yourself before you can towards others, otherwise, what we’ll end up is feeling alone, worn out, and not loved.
To Show Empathy
There are many who display empathy towards others but not towards themselves, first.
This could be a caring parent or spouse, constantly attending to the problems of others, and will do everything they can to help them, even when they’re having their own personal life issues.
They’re always there for their children, helping them with whatever problems arises, along with helping their friends whichever way they can.
What everyone sees is this person to be an extremely loving and caring individual, which they are. Then why is this person is so unhappy with themselves.
Why do they feel fatigued, depleted, and low in self-esteem. The reason is, they’re completely out of touch with their own feelings, and won’t bother furnishing them.
Beyond Their Needs
The reason for this is because they’re so focused on meeting the needs of everyone else, they’ll rarely tune into the feelings and needs of themselves.
Then they don’t realize how exhausted they are, or when they need some downtime. They have no idea when they’re feeling anxious, sad, frustrated, or lonely.
They have no empathy, no self love for themselves, as they find themselves using vices such as overeating, to fill the void.
The inner emptiness which results from not taking better loving care of themselves.
A Total Lack Of Empathy
Then there’s others who completely lack empathy, for themselves or anyone else. It appears they just don’t care about people, or their own feelings.
What it seems however, is they do have empathy for themselves because they do whatever they want.
They buy what they want, go after what they want, will spend their time whichever way they choose to.
These choices come from their fears, and their addictive need to fill themselves externally with things to gain approval, rather than showing empathy for themselves.
They have no idea the effect their behaviour has on others, based on their behaviour.
They keep others waiting, will rarely do what they say they’ll do, and will become judgmental rather than showing empathy. They become resistant when asked to do something.
Lack Of Empathy For Self
These are all the fears and false beliefs, you’ve accumulated from the past, which creates these painful defensive feelings you experience right now.
Having a lack of empathy for yourself and others, is the main reason for unhappy relationships and self depression.
When it comes to personal growth, showing empathy should be the highest priority, both for themselves and others. Then you’ll gradually shift towards being happier, and find peace.
Once moving towards empathy, you’ll find the reasons behind your feelings and behaviour, this along with showing compassion towards others, while understanding why and how they’re feeling and behaving the way they do.
Moving Towards Empathy A Process
To adopt a state of empathy for yourself, begins with noticing how you self-judge, this because showing judgment is the complete opposite of empathy.
Once you judge yourself, what you’re telling yourself is that you’re wrong or bad for what your feelings or what your behaviour is, this rather than coming up with justification.
So the next time that you realize you’re judging yourself, stop yourself and consciously show more compassion for yourself, this by mindfully putting yourself in a state of empathy.
Once your intention is to show empathy, this rather than constantly judging yourself or others, what you’ll discover is that you’re in a better harmonious state.
Empathy Towards Others
The next step involves showing empathy towards others, which is similar. Begin to noticing your anger, reserve, irritation, resentment, or resistance that you feel towards others.
Realize that these negative feelings are the polar opposite of empathy. Once you notice what these feelings are, what you’ll have is a choice towards improved understanding and caring.
To Stop Judging
Every time that you start judging yourself or others, instead, begin judging yourself for judging. Learn to replace empathy every time that you place judgment. Realize that if you constantly judge, what you’re doing is remaining neutral.
Once you begin to replace your judgment with empathy, you’ll then gradually begin to see yourself along with others in a different light, one with compassion.
Shifting Towards Empathy
Each time you become more compassionate with yourself and others, it becomes gradually easier. What you’ll discover is that focusing on empathy, will shift you towards the peace that you’re seeking.
What it comes down to is intent, this to protect yourself against the pain from your controlling behaviours, such as anger, blaming others, while being judgmental. You begin to learn how to love yourself and others on an unconditional basis.
What the deepest desire for most is to become a loving human being. Becoming and displaying empathy towards everything that you do, is a powerful step towards that path.