You can sense them an earshot away, those who come across as lame, being a fraud of a personality. With narcissistic overtones, they’ll tell you exaggerated beliefs of how great they are, that they’re perfect and never at fault. They’re not fooling anyone.
There are some who projects a completely different personality, than who they appear to physically be.
The reason for this, is because they’re taken out of their element, so they fake it to come across as genuine.
Based on their surroundings, they’ll change their tone, their texture, they become a completely different person, just to fit in. What’s obvious is they’re hiding something.
Show Your True Colours
They can be condescending, they can become indifferent or combative, become sarcastic or judgmental with one group of people, then act differently when with others.
You think you’re having a great conversation with them, then like a human chameleon, their attitude suddenly changes.
They’ll suddenly shift their body posture, change their demeanour, alter their tone of voice, transform their vocabulary, the moment someone else enters the conversation.
To Be Authentic
We all at times have our moments of insincerity, of not being authentic, not being real of who we truly are. This usually when we’re uncomfortable or become nervous.
It becomes difficult to maintain an air of authenticity, when we’re in unfamiliar situations where we’re not able to anticipate what’s about to happen.
The biggest worry being that the “real” you, your genuine self might not measure up, that you’re in over your head.
You feel you’re not good enough, don’t measure up to the situation at hand, and your biggest fear becomes rejection.
So instead of being real, showing up as yourself, what you display is the person you think everyone else is expecting, or will like. Your ego takes over.
Adjusting To Get Real
Different unfamiliar social territories can become intimidating, as the stress of you not fitting in looms.
The ability to gracefully glide into and adapting to different environments can prove difficult. Projecting your true personality can become problematic.
The reason being most can sense if you’re nervous, not being sincere, putting on an air as you babble away, forcing them not to trust you at all.
Being phony, coming across as cheesy, a fake and a fraud, being pretentious or disingenuous, projects distaste.
To Be The Real You
Everyone will sense anxiousness, and won’t view you as you being yourself, so they won’t compliment you, just avoid you.
Ultimately, what everyone wants is for you to relax and be yourself. It makes everyone feel calmer, with more respect.
What we all want is to surround ourselves and associate with those who are being themselves, especially our friends.
So you can project who you really are, even in the most uncomfortable or intimidating of situations, so the BS meter doesn’t go off.
Always Make Sure You’re Mindfully Aware
Any step towards self improvement involves outwardly observing yourself, and knowing how you come across to others.
Once you meet someone new, develop a mindful awareness of how you come across, how you feel in these situations, how you react on first instinct.
Know the situations when you’re the most uncomfortable. Usually, the tell is some just can’t shut up as they ramble nonsense on and on.
Realize those times when your brow begins to sweat, when you begin to feel your breathing becomes rapid, or you squirm uncontrollably in your seat.
Learn to become more observant with yourself. Once exercising awareness, allows you to recognize when you’re not feeling comfortable.
Then understand why you’re feeling this way in these situations, and then alert yourself by intentionally interjecting. Then display your authentic self.
Find More Genuine Connections
Since we’re all humans attempting to survive, what we all have in common with everyone else, regardless of how intimidating or menacing they may be, is we’re all connected.
To understand the motivation of someone you’re talking to, begin ask thoughtful, deep rooted questions about them. Listen intently, while observing their actions closely.
Develop an understanding of who they are, then create an angle to connect with them somehow.
What you’re doing is coming across as being more genuine, focusing on them, once you speak to them. It’s never about you.
Never Be Or Think You’re Perfect
What most think is they need to be perfect at all times, but there’s a big flaw to this. Perfection is impossible. The real world exists on imperfection and making lots of mistakes.
Yet, our quest is to be perfect, we constantly attempt to be flawless, which just exposes how phony and annoying we are.
Once you attempt to act perfect, then you’re just being disingenuous to others. You won’t be liked and come across as fake.
Embrace and display your imperfections, make errors, make fun of yourself, and dare if you can to be vulnerable on occasion.
Then you’ll be amazed with the praise, the respect that this instability garners you.
Pay Attention Stay Present
It becomes easy while in the middle of a conversation to become distracted, when someone’s talking to you. Your mind begins to wander, as you’re wanting to craft the perfect response.
Then once they’re finished talking, you reengage and attempt to share your thoughts, usually arrogant or completely off topic.
What most can intuitively sense, is your focus, attention, and presence. If they’re truly interested in listening to you talk or not.
So make an effort to be more present and current at all times, in your conversations and response. Make it look like you care.
Learn to become an active listener, by giving them your complete undivided attention at all times.
Developing the art of being present, is considered one of the most effective ways to project authenticity in your relationships.