Get Real How Not To Come Across As A Fake Insincere Phony

how to spot a phonyYou can sense them an earshot away, those who project how lame they really are, being a fraud of a personality. With narcissistic overtones, they’ll tell you exaggerated beliefs of how great they are, that they’re perfect and never at fault. They’re not fooling anyone.

Then there are those who project a completely different personality than you envisioned, this because they’re taken out of their element, so they fake it. Based on their surroundings, they’ll change their tone, become a completely different person.

They can be condescending when in a meeting room, they can become indifferent or combative, become sarcastic or judgmental with one group of people, then act differently when with others.

You think that you’re having a normal conversation with them, then they’ll suddenly shift their body posture, change their demeanor, alter their tone of voice, transform their vocabulary, this the moment someone else enters the conversation.

To Be Authentic
We all at times have our moments of insincerity, of not being authentic, not being real of who we really are. This usually when we’re uncomfortable or become nervous.

It becomes difficult to maintain an air of authenticity, this when we’re in unfamiliar situations where we’re not able to anticipate what’s about to happen. The biggest worry being that the “real” you, your genuine self may not measure up, that you’re in over your head.

You feel that you’re not good enough, don’t measure up to the situation at hand, and your biggest fear becomes rejection. So instead of being real, showing up as yourself, what you display is the person that you think everyone else is expecting, or will like.

Adjusting To Get Real
Different unfamiliar territory can be intimidating. The ability to gracefully glide into and then adapting to different environments can prove difficult, as projecting your true personality can become problematic.

The reason being that most can sense if you’re not being genuine, not being sincere with them, putting on an air, and that’s an immediate turn-off, forcing them not to trust you as much.

Being phony, coming across as cheesy, a fake and a fraud, being pretentious or disingenuous, projects distaste, this once others don’t view you as you being yourself, so they won’t compliment you.

To Be Real
Ultimately, what everyone wants is for you to relax and be yourself. It makes everyone feel calmer, with more respect. What we all want is to surround ourselves and associate with those who are being themselves, especially our friends.

So you can project who you really are, this even in the most uncomfortable or intimidating of situations. This once you meet someone for the first time, so the BS meter doesn’t go up.

Always Make Sure That You’re Self-Aware
Any step towards self improvement involves observing yourself. So once you meet someone new, such as at work, or socially, have a mindful awareness of how you come across, how you feel in these situations, how you react on first instinct.

Know the situations when you’re the most uncomfortable. Realize those times when you begin to sweat in your undergarments, when you begin to feel your breathing become rapid, or squirm uncontrollably in your seat.

Learn to become more observant with yourself, this by exercising awareness, will allow you to recognize when you’re not feeling comfortable. Then understand why you’re feeling this way in these situations, and then alert yourself by intentionally interjecting, then display your authentic self.

Find More Genuine Connections
Since we’re all humans attempting to survive, what we all have in common with everyone else, regardless of how intimidating or menacing they may be, is that we’re all trying to get through this alive in one piece.

To truly find and understand the motivation of those around you, begin by asking thoughtful, deep rooted questions about them, then listen intently, while observing their actions closely.


Develop an understanding of who they are, then create an angle to connect with them. What you’re then doing is coming across as being more genuine, focusing on them, this once you speak to them.

Never Be Or Think That You’re Perfect
What most think is that they need to be perfect at all times, but there’s a big flaw to this. Perfection is impossible. The real world exists on imperfection and making lots of mistakes.

Yet, our quest is to be perfect, we constantly attempt to be flawless, which just exposes how phony we are. Once you attempt to act perfect, then you’re just being disingenuous to others.

So embrace and display your imperfections, make errors, and dare if you can to be vulnerable on occasion. Then you’ll be amazed with the praise, the respect that this instability garners you.

Be Current Stay Present
It becomes easy while in the middle of a conversation to become distracted, this when someone’s talking. Your mind begins to wander, wanting to craft the perfect response, if you’ve turned the oven off, what the score of the game is, what gawd awful clothes they’re wearing.

Then once they’re finished talking, you then reengage and attempt to share your perfect rebuttal. Realize that they have no clue what you’re thinking about, this when they’re talking to you.

What people can intuitively sense however, is your focus, attention, and presence. So make an effort to be more present and current at all times in your conversations and relationships. Make it look like you care.

Learn to become an active listener by giving them your full attention. Developing the art of being present, is considered one of the most effective ways to project your authenticity in any situation.

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