This is our life duty. To search for and develop a successful relationship, and then progress into parenting children, this to create a new generation, this to prolong the human race. It’s however one of the most difficult tasks that we face in life, yet we are never taught or told how to do so. We don’t get any formal training as it’s just trial and error.
So most have no idea if their partner is even right for them. Is it time to move on, or is that tingling feeling real. There’s no single answer or indicator of knowing, this because everyone’s situation and environment is unique.
There are some common indicators however, that may reveal that it’s time to part ways before it’s too late.
So before going forward, before committing to this individual, take the observational view of an outsider, how a complete stranger would view your situation. Someone who has no say or emotion in the relationship.
How Different Are Your Core Values
Core values can’t be negotiated. You either believe in them or not, and they can’t readily be altered to suit the other person. This includes the desire to get married, how may kids to have, travel the world, have a career, etc.
If you and your partners core values happens to differ significantly, realize that’s a major red flag, which should be a huge cause for concern, this regardless of how well you two are currently getting along. So make sure that you discuss and know what they are.
If you’re willing to negotiate or change your core values to some degree for that person, then realize that those “values” were never or no longer your core values to begin with.
Although it’s possible to alter your core values to some point, but making significant changes shouldn’t be because of the result of the suggestions or pressure from a romantic partner. They should be your own decision, because of personal growth.
Are You Constantly Taken For Granted
You’re constantly watching the same movies that your partner picked out, or always watching sports or cooking shows that you despise. You eat the takeout food that they’ve decided to bring home, this from a local diner, without consulting you first.
You dress yourself or the kids in clothes, that your in-laws suggested, or approve of. Meanwhile, what they never do is acknowledge, or thank you for you doing so. All that they’ll do, is just take your submissive behavior for granted.
What they believe, assume, is that this is how things are meant or should be. You feel that you could easily be replaced if you don’t comply.
What you do, doesn’t seem to make a difference to their behavior. If this is the case, then reevaluate your relationship, by deciding how much you’re taken for granted.
You Never Get Any Respect
Lack of respect can be revealed in a variety of different ways. One sign is the lack of forward-moving progress or action. Other more obvious ones, include verbal or emotional abuse, or they constantly displaying passive aggressive behavior.
Know that these signs of disrespect or forms of abusive behavior can be so subtle, to the point that it becomes difficult to recognize it as intent, so look out for the signs.
Your partner may be well aware that they’re not doing their fair share of the household duties for instance, yet they don’t do anything about it because you don’t say anything, which is being passive aggressive.
They might choose to create distance between you, this by making plans for the upcoming weekend without first consulting you first. Or they might suddenly break previous plans you were looking forward to.
At times, there are signs of disrespect which are less subtle. A partner might verbally call you insulting derogatory names on occasion, and never apologize. Then they might repeat it again often.
The lack of respect might be disguised, such as saying “The clothes that you’re wearing, makes you look like a xxxxx.”
By stating it that way, they’re attempting to control you, without you having a direct way to blame them. The abuse is disguised, as they didn’t directly call you that derogatory name.
Your Partner Doesn’t Care About Your Emotional Needs
Everything that you do, you do so because it fits what your partner wants, to improve their day. What they think and expect, is that you want whatever they want. They will constantly take, but will rarely give you what you want.
What they expect, is you to make everything easy for them, yet they hardly do anything to furnish your needs, while they’re contempt to remain in a compatible relationship with you.
They may question or demand the frequency of times that you do something they like, while they never reciprocate back, even after you hint or request something.
You then finally realize that those times are extremely rare, when your partner actually focused on your needs, satisfied them, or even cared enough to understand them.
Your Partner Constantly Takes But Rarely Gives
It finally dwells on you, as you finally begin to take notice, that in the spirit of preserving the relationship, you constantly inquire about how they’re feeling, what they’re up to, what their plans are, what mood that they’re currently in.
But your partner doesn’t display anything back, show the same degree of caring, and may even find it annoying. It’s rare that your partner asks how your feeling, or anything else regarding your well being.
Realize that this might also just be the relationship dynamics between males and females. Where guys will generally tend to hide, or appear to not care about how you or they are feeling.
Know that you’re not their caregiver, or their parent. That person is not your child. So stop the constant nurturing. That’s not the type of dynamics that you’re looking for in a relationship.