Do you realize that the latest stats show there are now 45.2% percent of adults in North America who are single. So becoming singular appears to be a growing trend. Although going solo is a life choice, it’s the holiday season that isolates this solitary, that you are single.
Once the festivities kick off, it should become a snowball of great joy with friends and family. To celebrate the tradition. But it’s not always the most joyous time of year for those who are single. This is when one doesn’t feel that merry or bright.
This especially hits hard if one has just become single recently.
You may of gone through a breakup, suddenly lost a loved one, and now feel alienated. What the joyous frolicking holidays can do, is put a spotlight and magnify your grief.
While others hope, wish that you’re happy and comfortable during the holidays, it’s not always that easy to remain positive.
This especially if the focus is on you. Emotional healing takes time and it cannot read the calendar.
Know What Too Expect
The culture that is the holidays is that it’s a festive happy time, when friends and families bond. Relatives and loved ones celebrate another year.
The commercialization of the holidays makes this time of year appear flawless, but life isn’t like that.
So it’s best to know what to expect and that this year, the holidays may be a difficult time for you.
Once you treat the holiday season knowing it could get a bit rocky, then you’ll be more resilient and prepared for it.
If you’re single by your own choosing, or unforeseen circumstances apply, you still need to put up that brilliant happy exterior, as that’s what is expected of the season.
Also, some may not get along with certain family members or in-laws, and then be forced to confront them over Christmas dinner.
Doing so might ignite feelings that aren’t appropriate. Realize you’re not alone when you feel upset and angry.
Tell Everyone… Maybe Next Year
There’s no need to put yourself through the angst. It’s better to be kind to yourself.
It’s perfectly acceptable to protect yourself, opt out of certain events during the holidays, the ones which brings you pain.
This could be the annual Christmas party at work where you don’t have a date, or certain invites by friends. Most will understand and show their empathy.
Create Your Own Traditions
What ignoring the holidays however can do, is just delay the healing period or amplify the loneliness. So instead of just forgoing the holidays, start new rituals.
Go on a ski trip or go celebrate on a warm beach somewhere.
If you’ve hosted Christmas every year in the past, allow someone else to take over.
Find others in the same situation who are single and begin a holiday tradition, by getting together with regularly scheduled meetings.
Or Do The Traditional Things
If you remember all the great times you’ve previously had, then include those traditions into your new ones.
Share the stories of the good times that made you laugh. Make a toast to them on New Year’s Eve.
Engage in something which helps you feel connected to someone during those happier times. It could be watching your favorite movies, or ordering Chinese takeout on Christmas eve.
Help Others In Need
Helping others who are less fortunate has proven to brighten the day. This especially at this time of the year.
So volunteer to go visit sick kids in hospitals, sing carols at the local elderly nursing home, go visit the local pet shelter.
Do things which will help in taking the focus off yourself, which reinforces how fortunate you really are.
Volunteering and doing charity work reminds you that there’s good in the world.
Build or create something that helps others out, and all that’s needed is your time and support.
Take the focus off yourself, and develop ways on how you can help those who are in more dire situations than you are.
Plan A Schedule For The Holidays
Plan out beforehand exactly what you’re going to do, this when you have several days off for yourself.
Plan something for the critical times such as Christmas Eve and New Years Eve, when you know you’ll be alone.
Schedule some type of grounding activity that you can look forward to, something that will keep you occupied until the “normal” life resumes in the New Year.
The plans don’t need to be a social event.
It could just catching up on television or movies, helping the local soup kitchen, going to see a play or concert.
What ever event that it may be, make sure you write it down in your calendar, and then make sure you do it.
Be Mindful Of The Post-holiday Blues
Leading up to the holidays can be a time filled with stress and anxiety, but what studies show is that the days and immediate weeks following New Years are the toughest, because most don’t prepare for the let down.
All the hustle and bustle, the commotion of holiday planning will keep most busy and distracted.
But once the big day is over, what invariably hits is a void soon after, this especially once the credit card bills come in.
So plan not just for the holidays, but brace yourself for the weeks following this festive time.
This is the time to go join a fitness club, rid of your vices, schedule coffee with friends and family, go on a well deserved vacation.
For The Good Times
At times, some will just feel guilty celebrating the holidays, even if it’s justified.
You can and are allowed to have a good time, or even an “okay” time during the holidays, so just go enjoy yourself.
The entire holiday experience can be an overwhelming one, where every emotion is exposed and brought to the forefront.
So just hang on, hang in there, and enjoy yourself the best way you can. Cheers.