Judgment is the process of forming an opinion on something by making a comparison. While judgment can play an important role in decisions we need to make to live productively, sometimes the thoughts we hold is what prevent us from having what we want the most.
Judgments are based on thoughts we hold about people and things. These thoughts are the filters through which we view our world. The limiting beliefs that we hold about ourselves, about what we can or cannot do, are turned into judgment.
Judgments can be a tool that causes separation between people rather than bringing them together, along with playing a significant role when it comes to marketing our businesses as well.
We make judgments on ourselves, our clients, colleagues, and strategic partners. so it becomes important to understand the reasons why we project judgement.
We Don’t Know How To Love
It was Mother Teresa who once said, “If you judge others, you then have no time to love them.” No two things can occupy the same space at the same time.
If you hold judgment in your thoughts, then there’s no space or place for anything else.
We Are Insecure
Insecure people spend all of their time trying to make their world secure. They base their security on their perceived ability to control the world around them.
They feel that if they live, work, and play in a world where everyone believes and acts as they do, then everything will be fine.
While this notion is far-fetched and hardly grounded in reality, judgment enters the picture when anything threatens to shake up this “perfect world.”
Any person, idea, or event that doesn’t fit within their perceived world is seen as wrong and unsuitable. The cure for insecurity is knowing there’s nothing that can be controlled in this life, except our thoughts.
We’re Influenced By Past Conditioning
So much of what we hold as “truths” are not really truths at all. Instead, they’re thoughts handed down to us by our parents, teachers, our church, and other important people during our lifetime.
Often times these truths were based on misinformation and fear. Unfortunately, because these thoughts were instilled while we were young and vulnerable, they’ve taken hold.
These thoughts have become the filters through which we view our life experiences. To overcome this, we need to raise our awareness that we are making judgments.
Fear Of Something In Someone
One of the most common reasons why you judge is rooted in the fear that you have in someone. This usually plays to some insecurity around the idea that the other person has more power than you do.
You might be fearful that this person knows something that you don’t, or that they are trying to use that knowledge to somehow control or change you.
What underlies this is that they may take something from you, that you’ll be left with less than you have, or that you’ll be left with being less than you are.
The remedy for this is to let other people be who they are. To overcome this, adopt an attitude of curiosity and inquiry. Try to set aside your own preconceived ideas about others and their intentions.
The best way to counteract this fear is starting a simple conversation. It’s amazing how quickly our judgments of others can evaporate when we’re basing our decisions on what’s so, rather than what we think is so.
We’re Afraid Of Something Within Ourselves
Judgmental behavior can arise when we don’t want to face something about ourselves. Often, what we fear most is the uncertainty we feel, when the thoughts and the attitudes we embrace are compromised.
We might judge others because we don’t, in fact, measure up. Our judgment of others are really mirrors of the judgments we make against ourselves.
It takes courage to look at who we are, what we think, and the responsibilities which arises from the actions we take.
If we fear something inside ourselves, we must find out what it is. We must expose it to the light, so that we can deal with it constructively.
We Hide When We Don’t Understand Something
Judgment is one of the most common tactics when someone is trying to hide their ignorance of something. Rather than coming from a place of fear, a more productive way would be to open up communication.
Instead of cutting yourself off from people and opportunities because you don’t understand something, do something about it. Learn more, find out more, and open your mind to taking in new ideas and experiences.
By opening our minds to learning more, we can help our hearts to open as well. There’s no place for judgment once one comes from a place of love and understanding.
Our Position Feels Threatened
It is a common reaction for most to place judgment when they feel their position of power is being threatened.
These folks tend to see the world as “black and white,” there’s just one winner and then there’s everyone else.
They are often quite self-centered, as they can’t appreciate the rights and uniqueness of others. This behavior is common with those who suffer from low self-esteem.
They derive their value, and therefore their power, by how they think others perceive them, rather than their value coming from an internal sense that they are, indeed, a valuable and worthwhile individual.
Unaware Of How Thoughts Become Reality
As our society evolves, many are seeing the power of their thoughts, that what they think about, tends to manifest. One of the most poisonous things about judgment is that it creates separation among people.
It divides people into camps, the winners and the losers, the “we’re right” and “you’re wrong,” the “I know,”or “you don’t.” There is usually no good that comes from judging ourselves and others.
It is a perspective that comes from a place that there is something wrong, less than, or not good enough. Why not come from another place, what’s right and good about the situation.
We alone make the choice about the things that we think about, why not choose a better and brighter path. Why not spend our time and energy thinking about things that will bring us happiness.
It Becomes A Habit
Like almost everything else we do in our life, judgment can become a habit. All habits however are just unconscious, learned behaviors. Like any behavior we have, they can be unlearned.
There are several things to consider when breaking a habit. First, you need to clearly understand your habit and what it’s rooted in. Judgment is fundamentally rooted in fear.
Next, you have to want to change. You need to be able to visualize the type of person you desire to be, and all the benefits that will accrue to you as a result.
Finally, you need to take action to change. It takes time, determination, and discipline to change something that you’ve done for a long time, so get the support if you need it.