There’s nothing as emotionally painful as getting rejected, regardless of what form it happens to take. Not being liked, not being good enough to hang with the cool kids, not getting that job interview or promotion, not getting invited to a friend’s party, all stings.
Every no you get, every door you get slammed in your face, firmly plants you in your place.
The extent of the rejection impacts directly on the state of your welfare, who you are, while you struggle to find the best way to recover and regroup.
What rejection does is gives you a mental jolt, a slap on the face.
What it does is produces the same level of shock to the brain, as experiencing some type of physical pain.
There are numerous similarities of being mentally rejected, and the body receiving a physical attack like a punch in the face.
The trauma in the brain that’s felt and experienced, by seeing for instance your ex with someone you despise, records the same degree of pain.
Rejection Hurts
Pain isn’t the only negative consequence once rejected, as there’s also the feeling of insecurity, as acceptance is a basic human need.
Once we are faced with rejection, we jolt back to ground zero and begin to doubt ourselves.
The stun of rejection can also hamper concentration, increase stress, while some can become irritable or aggressive.
Being rejected also affects sleep patterns, while severe cases can result in gradually withdrawing from society.
The Handling Of Rejection
Everyone handles rejection differently. Those with high self-esteem or are in a position to face a lot of rejection such as salesmen, tend to condition themselves better.
Those with a higher sense of self-worth or has more social equity, usually handles rejection much better and at times invites it, than those who are more sedentary.
Rejection is a fact of life and always going to happen, so it becomes an important life skill to learn.
Having More Self Confidence
What most are aware of is having self-confidence is the key when life gets you down. But knowing you need confidence, and actually having confidence are two different things.
Most have grown up in an environment where they’re told they’re worthless, useless, not good enough, they’ll never succeed, this by our peers and our parents.
These messages carry over into adulthood, acting as the default switch when things get challenging, forcing you to remember, “Oh that’s right, I’m not good or smart enough to do this.”
So building up your self-confidence which is wavering becomes key. This begins with gauging where it’s at, then starting small and building it up gradually.
Begin by listing all the things you do well, the contributions you’ve made, the positive things you’ve done.
Force Yourself Into Positive Self Talk
Even what the slightest rejection does is confirms and enhances whatever negative things you say or think about yourself. So force yourself to have different self assuring self-talk.
Notice and then intercept yourself, once you say anything negative to yourself.
Thoughts such as, “I’m so stupid” or “It’s always my fault” or “What’s wrong with me?” aren’t useful, and will always force you to think down on yourself.
Rejection happens to the most successful of people out there, especially to those who appear confident and in the limelight, as they’re exposed to the “haters” more often.
Almost everyone hardly ever gets what they want. Those who are successful acknowledges rejection as an external force.
They won’t allow pessimistic self talk to convince themselves it won’t work, or how terrible they are. They choose to build themselves up, and not tear themselves down.
Know This Too Will Pass
Realize once you feel down on yourself is because of some type of rejection, and it’s a temporary state.
Know it’s the situation that’s making you feel worthless and a failure, and not you as a person. So keep in mind that you’ll get through it.
Don’t allow this one disappointing temporary experience, to diminish everything else in your life you’ve achieved and accomplished.
Give yourself the credit for all your skills and the things you were successful at in the past, while reminding yourself of all those great experiences you’ve had.
Those times when you made progress, helped someone, solved a problem. Realize you’re not defined by one bad experience, as it too will pass.
Learn The Practice Of Re-framing Yourself
Take a step back, take a deep breath and realize what’s happening. Realize what the situation is and collect your thoughts by taking a few deep breathes for a few moments.
Most often, the situation appears a lot worse then it actually is because of how you reacted to it, by framing it as a negative personal attack.
So instead, mindfully put a stop to this by physically stepping back and analyzing what’s happening. Choose to re-frame the incident.
Instead of thinking, “No one likes me because I’m unlikable,” you could instead re-frame it by thinking, “Having a relationship is difficult for everyone and I’m no different.”
Just Let Things Go
What’s natural is to feel upset and dejected by any type of rejection. After all, it’s the human condition and an autonomic negative emotional response.
Allow yourself to feel the pain of the rejection, cry it out, go for a walk, all while putting a limit on how long you’ll allow yourself to feel this rejection.
Literally set yourself a time frame such as, “I will allow myself to dwell on this until tomorrow at noon, and then I’ll be over it.”
Mentally allow the emotions to fade and let it pass, while not thinking about it again so it won’t become permanent.