Do Opposites Really Attract When Looking For The Ideal Mate

why couples with different personalities work the bestWhen you’re attracted to someone, where does the similarities end, or do they even matter. If at all, what are the distinct differences in personality that you both share, which are the most diverse. Do polar opposites really attract and work in the long run.

Do these online dating sites which attempts to match your digital fingerprint, where they match the various dimensions of your personality in the efforts to finding and fitting your perfect match, work. Thus they finding an exact clone of yourself.

Throughout the history of mismatching and making couples compatible, social scientists are continuously on both sides of the ledger when it comes to questions such as these.

Is ones intelligence a product of nurture or nature. Does our personality remain constant and stable through thick and thin, or does it change and are influenced over difficult times.

When it comes to the cognitive process, such as forming a decision or making life altering changes, are they biased or rational. The answers always appear to be a muddled version of somewhere in between.

What Is Personality Intelligence
Is intelligence influenced by our gene structure, is it our parents influence over us, or is it because of the environment where we find ourselves in, we either wither or flourish.

It’s known that one’s personality somewhat remains stable, as most of the characteristics remain as we become adults. But individuals do change because of the experiences or circumstances of real life.

Our decisions remain fairly rational, as well as becoming remarkably biased, this usually depending on how much effort and attention that we place towards the problems at hand.

Choosing Similar Life Partners
Why do we choose or end up with the people that we do. Should we be choosing someone that we have a lot in common with, or someone who’s completely radical.

Should we be looking for someone somewhere that’s more neutral, attempting to find some middle ground, while the differences of personality will still lead towards healthy debate.

What are the differences that we should be looking out for in a mate, as it will ultimately come down to becoming one, a partnership, sharing and mixing the talent pool into a single dialect.

Two Distinct Personalities – Promotion Or Prevention
Research has shown that all individuals will usually see their end goals from two different perspectives, a way which determines they knowing what their strengths and weaknesses are, along with how they work the best.

If you view your goals as potential advancement, rewards, or the accomplishments that they might bring, this in terms of what you’d potentially gain if you’re successful, what you have is what’s known as a “promotion” focus.

All of your strengths, relative to not being as strongly promotion focused, including being creative, and having the ability to be able to identify and then seize new opportunities.

However, if successfully reaching your goals is by remaining safe and secure, taking it slow, ensuring yourself against any losses, you then have the “prevention” focus. Your strengths being planning carefully by having solid realistic reasoning.

Those individuals who are prevention focused are wanting to fulfill their responsibilities, making no mistakes, while keeping things running as smoothly as possible.

So How Compatible Are You
Initially, a “promotion” person and a “prevention” person hooking up in a relationship, at first glance, may appear as a disaster in the making.


The promotion personality is wanting to take a chance on something that’s completely new to him, while all that she wants is to stay with what has always worked for her in the past.

He’s usually optimistic seeing the upside of life, she’s constantly skeptical, thinking things won’t work out. He’s always spontaneous while she refers to her daily planner.

He’ll usually go beyond the speed limit, while she concisely obeys the rules wearing out the brake pads. At first glance, the opportunities for conflict at all points in their relationship appears prominent.

But many believe and will suggest that the best relationships, the one’s which remain adaptive, the most mutually satisfying, are those relationships which appear to be polar opposites, complete odd couples of sorts.

So a promotion personality and a prevention personality could potentially be a perfect match, a unison of one, each bringing their different strengths to the table.

A Study Of Contrasts
So a study went into both dating as well marriages which has survived. It was found that those who had polar personalities for the most part, enjoyed better relationship satisfaction than those who had compatible personalities.

The reason being that the two contrasting personalities has the ability to divide and then conquer their goals or whatever life throws at them, from different viewpoints. These goals being related to both security or advancement.

What works best is they helping each other in filling the gaps to reach their individual goals, while fulfilling their own responsibilities. This so that each partner can then take on the tasks which they’re best suited for, knowing that their significant other has the other bases covered.

For instance, when planning a vacation, what he’s good at is coming up with the best destinations and prices for their vacation, while she’s good at planning out the sights to see, while getting the passports ready and the packing done.

When it comes to couples who have mixed motivations, their entire relationship, including their children’s, has the potential to become completely balanced. Their kids as a result are usually better adjusted, realistic, and more optimistic, this since their parents have contrasting points of view, which offers them different perspectives on the same issues.

So Do Opposites Really Attract
Although both partners are distinctively different when it comes to the same goals, the advantage is that they’re attacked from different directions, viewpoints, and attitudes, accomplishing them a lot quicker, which further bonds their relationship.

They need to know and feel that they’re both on the same page, and are “all in” together when it comes to what they ultimately want in life, and will differ only in how they choose to attack and accomplish it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *