How To Break Away From The Past And Start Living For Today
Regardless of how you choose to direct your life, despite what you decide to do differently this time, what you always end up is in the same frame of mind, in the same place where you were before. This whether you find a new mate, a new job, doesn’t matter.
Heck, to get away from your past, you decide to move across the nation or to an entirely different country, but you still find yourself in similar circumstances. Still surrounded by similar people and happenstance. Regardless of what you do, it feels like deja-vu.
No matter how many times that you want to escape your life, it comes hauntingly back to you. You continue to set the same goals in life, and will then break them over and over again.
You don’t do this because you’re not wanting to change or have masochistic tendencies. What you don’t realize, this much like a rerun, is that you envision your future life by recreating the past, this because the brain spews familiarity.
To Expect Something
When we decide to take action in life, we’ll first anticipate what we’re going to do. Predicting and planning the future allows us to prepare for it, this by taking the actions we think that’s required for us to be successful in the pursuit.
We make assumptions regarding what we want and expect in life, this to mirror our past history, our experiences along with the things that we’ve learned to believe are true.
It’s our past memories which gives us the ability to retrieve data regarding our future endeavors, this so that we can project forward and know what to expect tomorrow.
As a safety measure, we predict our future based on past events, as many believe that history repeats itself, which then facilitates our ability to survive more safely and accurately in the world.
If a situation or someone that we encounter appears dangerous to us somehow, then we remember to avoid or react to that circumstance because of a past experience.
However, if one is self-destructive, has bad habits, or wants to break free from the past to create a better life, they’ll unknowingly respond differently.
To Protect Ourselves
Every event that happens in our life we record into our memory bank, and then incorporate them into our belief system, this whether good or bad.
For instance, if you were unpopular in high school, you form the belief that you’ll be inadequate in social situations as an adult.
So every time that a social event arises, that high school reunion, a friends wedding, the office Christmas party, you flashback and experience a sense of anxiety, and then dread about attending.
By default, this is how you feel because your mind prepares you, this as a safety measure, to get ready for an uncomfortable experience.
Then you think up excuses on why you can’t or shouldn’t go, or decide to leave early. You’re also certainly not planning on having a good time, this because that’s what you’re anticipating.
To Relive The Horror Of The Past
Let’s say that the 30th Anniversary High School reunion is coming up and you’re invited. Since a good friend is arranging it, you feel obligated to attend as you don’t want to offend.
So you plan on arriving late and then develop an exit plan to leave early, this especially if it gets too uncomfortable. No one will notice you anyways, let alone talk to you.
So you feel anxious because you think you’ll be ignored, which has always happened in the past. You walk in quickly and quietly, take a peek around and find a dark corner to hide, and avoid eye contact with anyone who may recognize you.
A short time later, after wishing the organizer congratulations, not wanting to suffer through anymore awkward conversations, you decide to leave.
You activate your exit strategy and disappear as silently as you arrived, convinced more than ever that you are completely aloof when it comes to social situations, and this act proved it.
So the next time that this type of social invitation comes your way, what you’ll do is recreate the same scenario.
Formulated Beliefs Of The Past
So even if you’re not someone who usually behaves this way, don’t really fear these types of social situations any longer, what you still did was recreate the past, this based on previous experiences.
Something triggers, you then begin to formulate a belief regarding what it means, and then that belief overtakes you, as you begin to predict what’s going to happen, this when it comes to similar future situations.
Then what you do is act based on what you anticipate will happen, and then end up creating the exact scenario that you were expecting almost identically.
This process appears out of your hands, and happens almost automatically, as for the majority of the time, you’re not usually aware that it’s even happening.
Just Forget About The Past
The important thing to recognize is that the past is the past, and it’s only relevant to the extent that you can store it as reference, to make future calculations on what can possibly happen.
It’s your thinking and grasp regarding the future, along with what you’re expecting in life which should lead to your actions, which creates the ultimate experiences that you end up doing.
The good news is that once you become aware of this, you can then intercept the process, recognize the old beliefs that you once had and rid of them.
Then you can begin to generate and create new expectations, this when it comes to directing your future, which will then result in different scenarios.