Once a relationship ends and the sunshine fades, life can become bleak. So how to mend a broken heart and move on to better things. To progress, to eventually find someone new where love can bloom again.
Love happens once someone dares to expose their soul to another person, the vulnerability. This love, this once developing relationship then gets shattered after a breakup, as hopelessness sets in.
That amazing heart pounding feeling of being, suddenly empties as the butterflies fly away.Then the soul spirals into a dark abyss, as the giddiness comes to a halt.
Our once loved one leaves us, we leave them, regardless, we’re left with just the memories. These memories are now just a bad taste in your mouth, as you recollect the remnants of a shattered heart.
We humans are the only creatures on earth, who has the ability to consciously decide to bond deeply with another human of our choosing. So we commit, and fall deeply in love with this one person.
Then once these deep attachments break off, fracture, we suffer emotionally. We feel betrayed, hopeless, furious, anxious for the future, and go into denial. But there is a path to recovery.
The sun does rise tomorrow, although there’s no guarantee for a miracle cure. There are clinical steps which you can take to heal yourself, to recover from a broken heart.
Acknowledge It’s Over
Regardless of how things ended, first acknowledge it’s over. That chapter has closed. Yet you shouldn’t give up complete hope, perhaps that person will return one day, but accept it for now.
At this moment, you’ll need to face life tomorrow without them. Accepting this loss is grieving, so allow your feelings to be whatever they happen to be.
Sadness will overwhelm, so choose to remain mindful and think clearly. That person’s gone, but you still need to continue to live.
If the hope of getting them back still exists, accept your situation right now, get back on your feet. Don’t cling, become obsessive or a train wreck, as that won’t bring them back any sooner.
Manage Your Emotions
A broken heart mentally hurts, as an entire range of emotions activate. Betrayal, grief, disappointment, anger, guilt, disbelief, jealousy, rage, despair, sadness, all attacks you at once.
You may go momentarily numb, become listless and lifeless. Whatever you’re feeling, allow yourself to feel it, and then flush it out as soon as you can.
Write these feelings down in a journal, find other means of expressing what you’re going through. Talk to your friends and family, find a self-help group.
Just make sure you acknowledge you’re hurt. Be patient and give yourself time. If you feel nothing, then make the time to create the space to grieve, and never feel scared or threatened about these feelings.
These feelings just need to take their course. They are electrochemical charges in the brain which will eventually pass.
Live At This Moment
When you’re struggling, use that as an addiction recovery excuse, this by dealing with life one day at a time. Don’t get startled or lost in the big picture, or feel despair in the long lonely days of you being alone.
Just deal with today, this to the best of your ability. All you can do is breath at this moment, in the here and now. It helps to focus on what’s around you and what your task is at hand.
If you’re cooking or doing the laundry, then just concentrate on that. Become conscious of what you need to do next.
Staying with these sensations will take your mind off things, and isolate your internal thinking process. It will ground you to the right now.
It will help you survive all the bad memories, and you’re living proof that as every single minute passes, you’re showing you can exist.
So just attend to whatever you’re doing, whatever it is that’s around you right now, right here.
Reconnect with the miracle of you being alive, no matter how much you hurt at any given point.
Remember Your Life Before The Breakup
It might appear like a miracle how you managed to live without that person before you met them, but you did. You had a life, you lived your own life without them, before knowing they ever existed.
You did whatever it was you did, you had big dreams and big hopes, plans for the future, things in your life which had nothing to do with that person.
It’s important that you recollect and find who you are once again, this without them.
Starting A New Life
Building a new life takes effort. Begin by letting go of activities or friends you’ve both shared.
Although it may be a painful process, begin rebuilding your life to a richer higher level than it was before.
But this new life won’t appear out of thin air. You need to spend the effort and time into creating it.
You need to take calculated risks, place yourself into brand new situations, make new friends.
It becomes important to move out and move on, move away from your old habits and your comfort zone.
What losing someone does is it creates a brand new window of opportunity for you.
You could start doing something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for, and couldn’t.
So take that extended holiday, visit with old friends who your previous partner didn’t like.
It’s your time again, you’re single and you no longer need to make compromises any longer.
Have Hope For The Future
These are the chapters of your life, how you write them is up to you. One of the most persistent human myths is that there’s only one person in our life, who’s “the one.”
And once we think we found the “one,” we feel we need to spend the rest of our lives with them. Not true.
Humanity has advanced to the point, where we are offered more opportunities to meet new people, and we can have a number of partners in our lifetime.
We have the opportunity and the right to fall in love over and over again.
Think of all the new people you would have missed out on, if you would of remained in that same dull relationship, and it continued for the rest of your life.
What we do is meet different people at different phases of our lives. We outgrow some, while we grow old with others.
Each and every relationship we have is unique. You could be happy with someone, but also be just as happy with someone else, another person.
What you’ll then experience is a different life, perhaps a happier life with a different person, and have different adventures. And who knows, you may already know who that new person is.