The very instance that you begin to go beyond what you need to do, start bending over backwards, this to please someone else other than yourself, this when it’s not justified, and you do so constantly, is when you begin to lose credibility in the mind of others.
This whether at work in a professional context, towards your friends or family, going too far out of your way to accommodate what they need can be annoying. Is this to be liked more, to get love or attention, or for personal gain. Doing so is an epic failure on your part.
This because what doing so implies is that there’s a missing chapter in your personality, this when you go out of your way to please. That you’re a pushover, that you lead an empty life. Most wonder why you’re trying so hard.
The fact that you feel the need to constantly please others is actually considered a disorder, something missing from your past that you’re wanting to repair. So stop treating yourself like a doormat in all of your relationships.
Some Deficiency In The Past
Repeat after me, “I am good enough, I am smart enough, and I do matter.” This missing link is some type of vacant void that’s deeply embedded in your past. The past always has a way of haunting these deep rooted concerns, a fear, or the lack of love.
If you just decide to open your eyes to the curious child that’s within you, what you’ll find is that life is brilliant, that you have more to offer and do for yourself than for others.
The Brain Controls Our Bodies
Once we physically cut ourselves open and begin to bleed, the body by instinct will begin to heal the wound. Once we cut ourselves open emotionally, we have that same ability to heal ourselves with our minds, but our past conditioning holds us back from doing so.
Our brains are the director of our bodies, it’s capable of healing these emotional wounds the same way that it would an open wound, this provided we decide to rewire our thoughts. If you’re wanting to heal yourself, then half the battle is won.
So if this happens to be the case, then it’s time to take control of your life and do some reconstructing from within. Just say screw it, and stop being such a people pleaser.
Realize How Awesome You Are
So whether you’re kissing butt for a promotion, or attempting to get brownie points from mommy, you’re just labeling yourself as being “needy.” Look at me, I’m better than you. Instead, stop doing so because you’re just embarrassing yourself.
If you are constantly searching to please, then you’re yet to find the one who’s able to fulfill and change your life for the better, and that’s you. Realize that any type of love is an expression and not a possession.
Realize that love is a verb; an action. This the reason why some will claim they’ve “fallen out of love.” They didn’t physically fall and hurt their knee, but they or their partner just stopped doing things which expresses love.
So find your perfect self-expression through what your passionate about, and then you’ll find it, you’ll find love!
Screw The Future Live Right Now
Often, what we’ll do is attempt to please others usually in the hopes of getting something back in return. That return is also sometime in the near or immediate future.
If you’re looking for a promotion and sucking up, then you’re not focusing on your current job or your immediate task at hand. Instead, you’re focusing more on the future, and most employers will see right through this.
Instead, do your best to live at this very moment, this for yourself, for your personal growth, for your knowledge or experience. Don’t surrender to this illusion that you need to plan for the future, the one that never comes, this because once you do, you’ll miss all of the moments right now.
Life is rich and fascinating once you begin living in the moment. All of the details for the future are here right now, so make sure that you pay close attention to them.
Just Get Over Yourself
This tendency to constantly spend your time to please others, is you wanting something back in return of equal value. So because you went out of your way, what you’re making yourself is suspicious, making others wonder what you’re wanting back.
You’re most likely saying, “I want nothing back in return.” But what your subconscious mind is doing is hiding your real motives. So if you continue to do all the nice things you do, make sure that you’re more transparent with what your true intent is.
If you’re being “nice” just to get attention or love, then the karma gods will eventually be bittersweet with you. So have better intention while displaying it better towards others.
Don’t Waste Your Time
If you honestly believe that you want to please others, and are not wanting anything back in return, then prove it by making the conscious effort of giving to someone who can’t give anything back to you, this way, there’s no obvious ego stroking.
Start being more clear while displaying better purpose. This way, there’s nothing else to reveal than wondering what your true motives are. Your credibility lies in the ability to come across as being authentic and trustworthy as possible.
Constantly aiming to please is suspicious and annoying, as what you’re showing is a lack of self-esteem, that others are more important than you are, which also displays a false sense of self-worthiness.