What most need to understand is before they have any type of relationship with someone, they need to have a relationship with themselves first, however long that may take. How can you ever know who you are, if you’re constantly jumping in and out of relationships, with no actual “me” time.
This is the reason why once you see someone who’s single, don’t pity or judge them because they appear to be alone, or are unworthy of finding a mate.
They are most likely just taking appraisal of themselves, to know who they are, and what they like.
With all the buzz about finding the perfect partner, searching for an ideal soulmate of destiny, although it’s all fun and romantic, it’s also not practical.
How can you possibly love someone, if you don’t know who you are, first.
But I’m So Popular
There are some who will blindly jump in and out of relationships, like they’re hopping subway trains.
Then they wonder why they can’t find someone permanently. They’re not searching, they’re just masking their desperation.
There are women who constantly flirt, who has a different boyfriend dangling off their arm every weekend, and the men who instantly fall in love with them.
They are not interested in settling down with anyone anytime soon. What they’re telling you, is they have no idea who they are.
To Find The One You Need To Be The One
What the media doesn’t validate and no one else appears to be discussing, is the one relationship you need to have which matters the most.
This relationship is with yourself, to get to know yourself, before you find that perfect someone.
Unlike high school romances or any romantic movie, it’s a relationship that’s vital for your growth and your maturation.
Anyone who’s been single for a period of time, can relate it to jogging.
It begins painfully, everything hurts, but after a while as time passes, you catch that second wind, and believe you can run forever.
What happens is the endorphins kick in, and you don’t want to stop anytime soon as the momentum carries you.
You get wrapped up in yourself, feeling free with no baggage, effortlessly gliding through life being single.
Feelings When You’re Alone
You never feel alone once you find out what your true feelings are, as they’re the most important ones you need to keep.
You can’t do so, when you’re wrapped up in the arms of someone meaningless.
If you don’t like being alone, then you truly are lonely. Until you find peace with yourself, you’re not ready for a relationship, until you’ve reached that oneness.
Everyone needs to be alone at times, regardless if you’re already in a relationship, or if you’re jumping from someone to another.
Spending Time Alone
Once you decide to spend your nights and weekends alone, doing so shouldn’t frighten you.
Instead, it should invigorate you, make you feel excited, and not dread the downtime.
Use the time to explore the things you like, the hobbies and the passions you adore, the ones you cherished as a child.
Never go out and look for passion from someone, but rather find someone who understands what your passions are.
Finding Someone Special
Once you find out who you are, you’ll know exactly what you’re looking for.
Then those who you decide to invite into your life, will have a certain specificity about them, because they fit in, because what you’ve done is defined your own specificity first.
You know your exact passions, your dreams, and there are just a few certain types of people who will understand them, and will help you nourish and grow them.
You know the exact type of person who fits into your puzzle, and you’ll get along with them because you know yourself. They complement you, but not complete you.
You Complete Yourself
What you do is complete yourself first, since no one else should. Since you know who you are, you make yourself happy like no substance or human ever can.
You find your happiness by loving yourself, and not by being infatuated with someone. You know a soulmate will compliment your life, but won’t make your life.
What you did was you found your purpose, and no one can ever take that away from you.
You Are Your Own Goals
Knowing yourself means you have personal goals, and not just the relationship ones you need help on.
What you want is a relationship with yourself, which will carry you through the rest of your life.
Unlike the relationships most strive for, what you found is one with yourself, and you’re now searching for someone to courtesy you.
You don’t need someone to complete your world, since you’ve already created it yourself.
Once you’ve established a relationship with yourself, what you won’t experience is the loss others will feel, once the love they give fades away, or is rejected.
If you happen to go through a breakup, what you won’t feel is your world is crumbling. What you had was a world before them, and will continue to have one after they’re gone.
Being Independent And Genuine
You don’t need to be someone else, or pretend to be someone you’re not. Most relationships don’t last, because they’re not realistic.
What most will refuse, is to find themselves first, as they jump from person to person. All they fantasize about, is the perception of who they think they are.
Or they begin emulating the personalities of one other, ultimately realizing they don’t like the person they’re pretending to be.
Once you’ve spent enough time alone to find yourself, and no longer playing imposter, you’re ready to find that real relationship without the hazard of losing yourself again.