What the experts claim is you need to love yourself first, before you can love anyone else. One of the keys to life is to be mindful and aware regarding what happens to you. Our life without a doubt, will always be bombarded with a variety of ups and downs, major traumas, challenges, and triumphs.
Hopefully, we’ll learn from all our mistakes, our experiences, so we can move forward towards a better, more complete life that’s meaningful to us.
“Know thyself” seems to be the key. The first assignment of becoming a lovable adult, is to know who we are, to flourish as an individual.
Once we have a fairly good idea of who we’ve become, know the influence we can have on others and the world, we’re pretty much ready.
This is when we can begin the journey of finding a relationship to love, and offer our true self.
Know Thyself First
What’s known is having a genuine compatible intimate relationship with another person, is the second most difficult relationship you’ll have, the first being yourself.
Then you can live your life to your fullest capacity and potential, as you educate your knowledge to another human being, who you’re having a relationship with.
It can however be a difficult process to develop this healthy bond with yourself then others, which meets the approval of both individuals.
The Need To Help One Other Learn And Grow
What each of us becomes is a mirror of the other, as what we learn are the feelings and behaviors of our partner.
What we gain are new perspectives through our partner’s vision, which enhances our own.
The relationship then becomes a win-win situation, as both are benefiting from each other.
Our partner’s interests serves and encourages us, which becomes fertile ground so we can learn and grow ourselves, as our partner grows as well.
Respecting Individuality And Boundaries
We’re individuals first, as our heart rates beat differently. Our differences however, should never be seen as less or greater than the other.
Instead, it should be seen as an opportunity to gain new perspective. What a healthy relationship does is nurtures and embraces uniqueness.
Be wary of someone who attempts to control you, where they try to diminish your individuality because what you’re doing, is threatening their ego.
This occurs once you don’t see things their way, or you’re too independent. Avoid people who attempts to make you just like them, as that’s the only way they feel comfortable.
Make sure you also give one other the space that’s needed away from each other, so you could be alone, be with friends, or to pursue your interests.
Encourage Healthy Dialogue And Communication
What you need to feel is free and comfortable to say whatever is on your mind at all times.
What’s certain is you won’t agree on everything, so it becomes essential to keep your communication open.
Keep it straightforward, be completely honest and not become judgmental or critical, and never shame or blame one another.
Always “listen” to the message your partner is saying, and not just the words. Know how they express their feelings and emotions, their behaviors and actions.
You Share Similar Values
Hopefully you’re both on the same page regarding the key life issues such as family values, children, religious and spiritual life.
Having similar vision when looking at life, does is creates a mutual way of relating to one other on the important issues.
This isn’t saying those from different backgrounds, religions, cultures, and ideologies can’t flourish. What these differences may take, is more time to work out.
This becomes possible once the values of each other are openly communicated and respected, to make the relationship work.
There’s Unconditional Trust
What having trust means, is you both have the belief you have what it takes to overcome all the storms of life, and come through with flying colors.
Overcome all of the turbulence, the roadblocks and the in-laws, while standing up for and by each other.
Trust implies the unwavering confidence, that regardless of what happens in the relationship, you’ll both remain united and loyal.
You’ll honor each others decisions and commitments, and will remain open so you can both work out whatever differences there may be.
Major Life Decisions Are Shared
What will inevitably arise are disagreements during a relationship. One partner also shouldn’t be making all or most of the major life decisions or direction.
Instead of becoming frustrated and angry once problems do arise, it’s important to get input from both.
It often takes both opinions to reach the proper compromise, the right balance, by drawing on each others previous experiences, knowledge, and wisdom.
So compromising by giving and taking, becomes an important process when it comes to solving problems. Above all, each should be contributing equally.
Let Things Go And Move On
Life is about growing, changing, and transition. Nothing ever remains the same, although we want things to stay familiar, because that’s where we feel the most safe and secure.
Inevitably, all of the twists and turns life throws at us, the good and the bad, will find its way into every relationship.
What’s needed is to find ways to work through these roadblocks, to the next chapter of the journey.
Although there may be frustration, it becomes critical to work through all of life’s quirky twists.
What a loving, healthy relationship does is it teaches us to stand together to fight the good fight, united together. What unity does is provides strength and balance.
Our relationships are and should be sacred, so what it deserves is our full undivided attention, with gratitude, respect, and loving compassion.