Everything that happens to us, happens on purpose. More often than not, one thing leads to another. Instead of locking yourself up in your cage of fears and crying over past heartache, embarrassment and failures, treat them as lessons learned.
They will then become your tools in both your self-improvement journey and success.
Stop thinking and feeling as if you’re a failure, because you’re not. How can you expect others to accept you, if YOU can’t accept YOU?
When you see ultra successful people on TV, think better self-improvement for yourself, and never feel self pity and wanting to be like them.
Self-acceptance is not just about having nice slender legs, great abs, or excellent teeth and hair. Concentrate on your inner beauty instead.
Raise Yourself Up
When people are feeling down and despondent about themselves, give them a helping hand and make them feel better. Don’t rage or join them.
Otherwise, they’ll pull you down their sinkhole, and both of you will end up feeling inferior, and bathe in your own sulk party.
The world is a vacuum for lessons to be learned, not mistakes to be feared.
Don’t feel stupid and doomed forever, just because you failed on a math quiz, or that person turned you down.
There’s always next time. You will get another kick at the can.
The Road To Getting Better
Take things one thing and one day at a time. Self-improvement is a process. Self-improvement results in inner stability, personal development and SUCCESS.
It comes from elevating self-confidence, self appreciation and self-esteem.
Don’t expect self-improvement however, to help turn you into becoming the exact replica of your favourite rock star. Become your own person instead.
Set Meaningful Achievable Goals
Often, we don’t realize the little things we do like giving a pat on the back of someone, or greeting someone heartedly makes a difference. Doing so can mean everything to them.
When we’re being appreciative about the little things around us, and spread it to others, we become beautiful to them.
Also realize when you’re willing to accept change and going through this process of self-improvement, it doesn’t mean everyone else wants to as well. People have their own agenda and attitudes.
Always Be Getting Better
At times, even if you think you and your friends have a lot in common, the majority would decline an invitation to self-improve themselves, if you asked them.
Realize there’s no such thing as an overnight success, everyone is a work in progress.
It’s always a wonderful feeling to hold on to the things you already have, and realize it was something you once wished for in the past.
We’ve all heard that “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
We are all here to learn our lessons, from our parents, teachers, friends, colleagues, neighbours… they are our guides.
If we learn one single thing from any of them today, then it was worth the time.
Once we open our doors for self-improvement, we increase our chances to head down the road towards success.
The Importance Of Improving Ourselves
Sometimes, when we wrap ourselves up in our doubts, fears and insecurities, we come up with the idea and conclusion “I wish I was someone else.”
More often than not, we think and believe that someone, everyone else is better than us.
When in reality, the fact is, most people are more scarred and scared than you are.
You’re Better Than Me
You spot someone interesting at a party, someone you’d like to meet. They’re casually sipping on a glass of champagne by themselves.
You think to yourself, “Wow, that person looks so perfectly calm and confident.”
But if you could read their mind, their thought cloud, you would find out exactly what they’re thinking… Which is:
• Are people looking and talking about why I’m sitting here alone?
• Don’t others find me attractive enough to approach me?
• I wish I was more sociable like my friend so I could carry a conversation!
We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously perfect, and wish we could trade places with them. The irony is they’re looking at us and thinking the same thing.
We are insecure of other people, who themselves are insecure of us.
Most suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, and lose hope in self-improvement because we’re enveloped in quiet desperation.
Know How You Come Across
You may have an irritating habit of biting your finger nails, or having a foul mouth after a few beers. And you – you’re always the last to know of your annoying habits.
I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. In most conversations, he’s the only one who seems to be interested in the things he says.
So during social events, people will avoid him as they will politely scatter whenever he’s around.
The problem is, he has no idea how he comes across, how socially handicapped he is, how negatively he affects people in his immediate environment.
Get Constructive Criticism
One key to self-improvement, is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend on how you come across. Find someone who you find comfort in opening up to, with the most sensitive topics you want to discuss.
Then ask questions like…
• Do you think I am ill-mannered, rude, or annoying?
• Do I constantly sound argumentative or disagreeable?
• Do I talk too loud or too much?
What this shows is you’re interested in self-improvement. Accept all the comments and criticisms in stride, regardless of how painful they may be.
Don’t become defensive and show signs of annoyance or arrogance and say, “That’s just the way I am!”
Learn to accept constructive criticism instead, and take the feedback to heart.
In return, you might want to help your friend by giving back constructive criticism on them, which helps them improve. Be gentle yet honest.
Have these sessions once a month, and be honest with one another.
Learn To Love Yourself
In order to love others, you need to love yourself first. Remember, you cannot give what you don’t have.
Before telling other people how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself is a representation and a product of self-improvement.
Self improvement makes us better people, which inspires other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.
Stop thinking of yourself as a second-rate being. Forget the repetitive thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on.
Accept your true self and start from there, as that’s the first step to self-improvement.
We need to stop comparing ourselves to others, as you’ll only find out you have a handful of other reasons to envy them further.
We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc.
But life is not perfect, and it doesn’t need to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves.
Self-improvement and loving yourself, is not a matter of shouting to the world you are perfect and you are the best.
It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. Once we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel happy.
Build Up Your Self-Confidence
So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain high self-confidence in a tough environment?
Imagine yourself as a human target like a dart board.
Everything and everyone else around you, are throwing darts your way, at one point or another.
These darts can destroy your confidence, and pull you down in ways you don’t even realize. Don’t allow them to destroy you, or get the better of you.
Here are the darts you should avoid.
1.) – Negative Work Environment
Beware of the “dog eat dog” mentality, where everyone is fighting, competing with one another just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people hang out and thrive.
It’s like a boss who doesn’t appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch, or stay up late to finish that project.
Most of the time, you do all the work without help from others, without a single thank you.
Avoid these situations and people, as doing so will plummet your self-esteem.
Yet be ready to compete, but only if it’s healthy fair competition.
2.) – Other People’s Behaviour
All of these types of people poses bad vibes on your self-confidence, as well as dashing your self-improvement hopes.
Those who nag, those who annoy, the gossip mongers, the whiners and the complainers, the controllers, the walking wounded, the backstabbers, and the pathetic patronizers.
Recognize them and avoid them at all costs.
3.) – The Ever Changing Environment
What making changes in our life does is challenges our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think.
Change will initially make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress. But it will eventually help you find ways to improve yourself.
Change is a constant moving target and will always be with us forever, so always be prepared for it.
4.) – Previous Life Experiences
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when you experience pain. But don’t allow this pain to transform itself into fear.
It will try to grab you by the tail and swing you around like a rag doll, so be ready for it.
For each of the failures and the mistakes you make, treat them as valuable lessons to move forward.
5.) – Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t allow yourself to get wrapped up with all of the negatives of the world out there. This means people, things and events.
When building self-confidence, you need to learn how to make the best out of the worst situations.
6.) – Determination Theory
What your behavioural traits are, is said to be the final product of who you become in life.
This includes your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the economy, your job and your circle of friends.
What you have built, is your own identity. If your father was a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure yourself.
Learn from the experiences of other people, so you won’t need to encounter the same mistakes yourself.