Everything that happens to us, happens on purpose. More often than not, one thing leads to another. Instead of locking yourself up in your cage of fears and crying over past heartaches, embarrassment and failures, treat them as lessons learned. They will then become your tools in both your self-improvement and success.
Stop thinking and feeling as if you’re a failure, because you’re not. How can you expect others to accept you, if YOU can’t accept YOU?
When you see ultra successful people on TV, think self improvement for yourself, and never feel self pity and wanting to be like them.
Self-acceptance is not just about having nice slender legs, great abs, or excellent teeth and hair.
Concentrate on inner beauty instead.
Raise Yourself Up
When people are feeling down and despondent about themselves, give them a helping hand and make them feel better. Don’t rage with them.
Otherwise, they’ll pull you down their sinkhole, and both of you will end up feeling inferior, and bathe in your own sulk party.
The world is a large vacuum for lessons, not mistakes.
Don’t feel stupid and doomed forever, just because you failed on a science quiz, or that person turned you down.
There’s always the next time.
The Road To Getting Better
Take things one thing and one day at a time. Self-improvement is a process.
Self-improvement results in inner stability, personality development and SUCCESS.
It comes from self-confidence, self appreciation and self-esteem.
Don’t expect self-improvement however, to help turn you into becoming the exact replica of your favorite rock star.
Set Meaningful Achievable Goals
Sometimes, we don’t realize that the little things we do like giving a pat on the back, or greeting someone heartedly, can mean so much to them.
When we’re being appreciative about the beautiful little things around us, and spread it to others, we become beautiful to them.
Realize that when you’re willing to accept change and going through this process of self-improvement, it doesn’t mean that everyone else wants to as well. The world is a place where people of different values and attitudes, hang out.
Always Getting Better
At times, even if you think you and your friends have a lot in common, most would decline an invitation for self-improvement.
Realize that there’s no such thing as an over night success, everyone is a work in progress.
It’s always a wonderful feeling to hold on to the things that you already have, realizing it was something that you once wished for.
We all heard that “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
We are all here to learn our lessons, this from our parents, teachers, friends, colleagues, neighbors… they are all our guides.
If we learn one single thing from any of them today, then it was worth the time.
When we open our doors for self-improvement, we increase our chances to head down the road of success.
The Importance Of Improving Ourselves
Sometimes, when we wrap ourselves up in our doubts, fears and insecurities, we come up with the idea and conclusion “I wish I was somebody else.”
More often than not, we think and believe that someone, most people, are better than us, when in reality, the fact is, most people are more scared than we are.
You’re Better Than Me
You spot someone interesting at a party, someone you’d like to meet.
They’re casually sipping on a glass of champagne by themselves.
You think to yourself, “Wow, that person looks so perfectly calm and confident.”
But if you could read their mind, their thought cloud, you would know what they are thinking…
• Are people looking and talking about why I’m sitting here alone?
• Don’t others find me attractive enough to approach me?
• I wish I was more sociable like my friend so I could carry a conversation!
We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously perfect, and wish we could trade places with them, while they look at us and they think the same thing.
We are insecure of other people, who themselves are insecure of us.
We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, and lose hope in self-improvement because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.
Know How You Come Across
You may have an irritating habit of biting your finger nails, or having a foul mouth after a few beers, and you – you’re always the last to know.
I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. In most conversations, she’s the only one who seems to be interested in the things that she says.
So at times, during social events, people will avoid her as they will politely scatter whenever she’s around.
The problem is, she doesn’t know how she comes across, how socially handicapped she is, how negatively she affects people in her immediate environment.
Get Constructive Criticism
One key to self-improvement, is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend on how you come across.
Find someone who you find comfort in opening up to, with the most sensitive topics you want to discuss.
Then ask questions like…
• Do you think I am ill-mannered, rude, or annoying?
• Do I always sound argumentative or disagreeable?
• Do I talk too loud or too much?
What this shows is you’re interested in self-improvement.
Accept all the comments and criticisms in stride, regardless of how painful it may be.
Don’t become defensive and show signs of annoyance or arrogance and say, “That’s just the way I am!”
Open up your mind instead, and take the feedback to heart.
In return, you might want to help your friend by giving back constructive criticism on them, which helps them improve. Be gentle yet honest.
Have these sessions once a month, and be honest with yourselves.
Learn To Love Yourself
In order to love others, you need to love yourself first. Remember, you cannot give what you don’t have.
Before telling other people how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself is a representation and a product of self-improvement.
Self improvement makes us better people, which inspires other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.
Stop thinking of yourself as a second-rate being.
Forget the repetitive thought of “If only I was only richer… if only I was thinner” and so on.
Accepting your true self and starting from there, is the first step to self-improvement.
We need to stop comparing ourselves to others, only to find out that you’ll eventually have a handful of other reasons to envy them further.
We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect.
We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc.
But life is not perfect, and it doesn’t need to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves.
Self-improvement and loving yourself, is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best.
It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment.
When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel happy.
Build Up Your Self-Confidence
So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain high self-confidence in a tough environment?
Imagine yourself as a human target like a dart board.
Everything and everyone else around you, are throwing darts your way, at one point or another.
These darts can destroy your confidence, and pull you down in ways you don’t even realize.
Don’t allow them to destroy you, or get the better of you.
Here are the darts that you should avoid.
1.) – Negative Work Environment
Beware of the “dog eat dog” mentality, where everyone is fighting, competing with one another just to get ahead.
This is where non-appreciative people hang out and thrive.
They don’t appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch, or stay up late to finish that project.
Most of the time, you do all the work without help from others, without a single thank you.
Avoid these situations and people, as doing so will ruin your self-esteem.
Yet be ready to compete, but only if it’s healthy fair competition.
2.) – Other People’s Behavior
Those who nag, those who annoy, the gossip mongers, the whiners and the complainers, the controllers, the walking wounded, the backstabbers, and pathetic patronizers.
All of these types of people poses bad vibes on your self-confidence, as well as dashing your self-improvement hopes.
3.) – The Ever Changing Environment
What making change does, is challenges your paradigms.
It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think.
Change will initially make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress, but it will eventually help you find ways to improve yourself.
Change is a constant and will be there forever, so always be prepared for it.
4.) – Previous Life Experiences
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when you experience pain. But don’t allow this pain to transform itself into fear.
It will try to grab you by the tail and swing you around like a rag doll, so be ready for it.
For each of the failures and the mistakes you make, treat them as valuable lessons to move forward.
5.) – Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at.
Don’t allow yourself to get wrapped up with all of the negatives of the world out there. This means people, things and events.
When building self-confidence, you need to learn how to make the best out of the worst situations.
6.) – Determination Theory
What your behavioral traits are, is said to be the final product of who you become in life.
This includes your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the economy, your job and your circle of friends.
What you have built, is your own identity.
If your father was a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure yourself.
Learn from the experiences of other people, so you won’t need to encounter the same mistakes yourself.