“The secret to a long lasting marriage is to marry someone who’s uglier than you,” she said. They say that we can’t control whom we fall in love with, that love is blind as a bat, and it doesn’t care if someone’s older, younger, a colored martian. But ultimately we care.
What society has created is a certain stigma when it comes to differences in age, race, or religion, causing obsession for some. Once a person’s attracted to someone outside of their age bracket, what they think is “What’s wrong with me,” my feelings must be broken.
What we then do is begin putting up walls, invisible barriers or just run for the hills and hide. But before slamming the door at the chance for love, above everything else, what it comes down to is the other persons level of maturity.
Age Is A Number Maturity Is A Destination
If you’re both on the same wave length, equal standing when it comes to maturity, both emotionally and intellectually, then there’s no reason to allow the distance in age to cloud your judgment or decision. Who cares what anyone else thinks.
Perhaps the age disparity is extremely noticeable, or when you first met, you were still immature. Realize that every single person that we meet on this planet of over 7 billion plus is for a reason, a message or lesson that they need to deliver to us.
All For A Reason
Perhaps this person isn’t really meant for you, this especially during your initial years when you’re still maturing, but when they constantly reappear back into your life, then you have to think there’s fated chemistry.
Maybe, this person happened to be in your life at the wrong time or place, but had to teach you something. Whatever the case may be, it happened for a reason.
If the gap in age is 10 or more years, but “he” in this case, could be just as confused about life as you are, or the circumstances of their lives are the same as yours.
It might be uncomfortable for some, this age disparity, but you somewhat feel connected since you’re both experiencing similar dynamics. These the reasons why a “number” shouldn’t halt a pending relationship.
Age Is Just A Numb…
When someone’s older, what that person has seen are more days on this earth, walked down more paths, but that doesn’t mean that they understand their purpose in life any more than you do.
If you’re both wanting the same thing from the relationship, then that’s half the battle won. A couple who were high school sweethearts, if they’re no longer on the same page, then things will just prove to be inconceivable regardless.
Stop Judging Me
Not only does society judge those dating outside of their age, race, or religion, what society also expects is that we all grow up at the same rate of maturity. What’s expected when growing older is also becoming mature, which isn’t always the case.
Maturity is something which develops based on how quick we have life experiences. You just don’t automatically or magically become “mature” once you hit your 21st birthday.
Some can mature at an extremely young age, a teen pregnancy, or those tragic stories of orphans, where they lost their parents in a car accident, and bounced from one foster home to another, fending for themselves, becoming stranded.
They learn quickly about the dangerous fate of life, that life is uncertain and a gamble early on in their lives. Divorce is another circumstance of life’s many hazards for children.
Then there are some who never mature, being constantly protected by a guardian until they grow old, or they just refuse to grow up, placing blame on everybody but themselves for their happenstance.
Figuring Out This Thing Called Life
What society does is it places pressure on us, if we haven’t figured out who we are by our mid to late 20s, then we’re regarded as failures, that we’re substandard social misfits, that we’re living life incorrectly, incapable of learning.
What we should be doing is making plans for the future, designing a career and a family, this in the hopes to be at a certain place and time at a certain age. But we all know that fate interjects, and the brunt reality of life sets in.
Act Your Age
Some will tell you to “act your age.” We’re expected to leave our immature behaviors behind the day that we graduate from high school, and begin a life of adulthood, to become mature living thriving adults. But that’s obviously not the case for everyone.
This although we went though school at the same age, were taught the same subjects, all went through the same changes in puberty. But beyond that, we all mature at our own rate.
Life experiences occur to people at different times in their lives, for some, never. This causing some to grow up quicker than normal, a 24 year old can have a mindset of a 40 year old, and vice versa.
So ultimately, just leave all your judgments behind once you find someone truly special. There’s no two people who are the same, as there are no two romances which are the same. So take each individual you meet for who they are, and not what they appear to be.
The Case Of Judgment
Never close yourself off or ignore others just based on age disparity, but instead take into account their maturity level instead.
Allow life to work its mysterious magical wonder once you find yourself having that special connection with someone who may be older or younger than you. Explore it and don’t allow others to alter your judgement.