As the song goes, “You keep me hanging on…” You’re currently in a relationship with your latest, and you desperately don’t want it to fail. You don’t want to appear as a failure in front of your friends and family. Everything is fine you tell yourself, things will work out this time, you hope.
What you’re doing is pouring your soul, your life effort into the relationship. You hope both of you are.
You’re giving this relationship all you’ve got, yet only to find yourself feeling miserable and unhappy with your life once again.
Deep down inside, that gut feeling area where raw truth resides, your heart remains conflicted whether you should stay in the relationship or not.
Your dreams and your eggs are drying up, so you need to make a major life choice sometime soon.
You need to decide if you’re going to start over again, or remain with this person who may not be the perfect match for you.
1. – You Start Making Excuses For Yourself
If your partner just had a bad day at work, this isn’t a reason they should be taking it out on you. Everyone has bad days, but you don’t deserve to be the adsorbing sponge.
Their frustration and anger shouldn’t be taken out on you. So if you’re constantly being slammed by their bad mood, it may be time to get out.
Talk about it first, don’t give up hope, but if it remains persistent, the exit door is your best friend.
2. – All Talk No Action
You’ve been in numerous arguments lately, and it all appears to be over the same thing. It’s always about they getting off their lazy butt and doing something. Or the dysfunctional way they’re treating you.
Their attitude sucks, and it’s not improving. They say they’re committed to the relationship but nothing ever changes.
So decide if you and your pride should be jumping ship for calmer waters.
3. – You Constantly Need To Validate The Relationship
Just to prove to everyone you’re a lovable functional person. You post pictures of your relationship on social media, and won’t feel validated until your partner also “Likes” the photos on Facebook.
You’re just doing it to show you’re capable of having a relationship, just to prove you’re worthy. Instead, why not be more genuine, stop needing to feel you need to justify yourself.
You come across as an insecure emotional wreck, as you chronicle every step of your relationship online, while everyone feels bad for how empty your life appears.
4. – You Argue In Public
Sure, every couple has their disagreements, but the tipping point is if it’s displayed in public, for all to see.
Arguments are usually held behind closed doors, but doing so publicly without shame raises red flags.
When fighting in public, your immature mind can’t listen calmly to resolve the situation peacefully. You don’t care what others are thinking at that moment.
It should be embarrassing for you, but so what. If it’s a mild argument, then fine, but once you raise your voice, you’ve crossed the line into cuckoo land.
5. – You Come To Your Own Conclusions
You formulate your own conclusions during uncomfortable situations, only to protect yourself, pretending everything is fine.
For instance, your partner forgets your anniversary, or they won’t bother going to your parents for dinner.
The reason is because they don’t care about you or the relationship, they don’t care how it makes you feel.
What you don’t bother doing is taking the real reasons into account. Instead, you just cover them up, by constantly coming up with your own conclusions on what they do.
You feel unappreciated, yet continue to deny it with excuses. Realize all you’re doing is just lying to yourself.
Doing so will only turn into an internal struggle with your heart, which will eventually place a strain on your relationship.
Do you really want to continue to cover up and make excuses for yourself and that person.
6. – They Take You For Granted
What they do is constantly show a lack of appreciation. So stand up for yourself and tell them.
Ask them point blank why they do “such” and “such,” and don’t just assume its for a certain reason. Make them tell you exactly why.
It’s best to realize it’s a fools game, since you’ll never assume they don’t care about you.
Force them to explain why they do certain things, as you deserve the love and respect.
7. – There’s Too Much Mental Angst
This applies to both partners. What you do is go to sleep and wake up with scars on your heart, and misery on your mind.
What you most likely do is justify their actions by blaming yourself first, or their past you’re attempting to cure.
You become intoxicated by the volatility of the relationship, and convince yourself by thinking things are bound to get better.
Never settle for someone who makes it their daily routine to make you feel like lousy, by talking down to you. Don’t settle for someone if you don’t feel safe in your own home.
If they’re willing to commit to working it out, and actually proving it, then there’s some hope.
But if they continue to hurt you while promising it will never happen again, then take what’s left of your pride and walk out the door, as they don’t deserve you.
Should I Stay Or Should I Go
If you’re unhappy and you don’t know if you should stay or go, think about the value, the weight of the relationship against the effort you put into it.
What you can do is ask someone to change, but you can’t force them to act.
So the question remains, should you give up and move on to greener pastures, or wait for that person to become committed enough to change. This regardless of how long it takes.