At this exact moment, your face and body is sending out invisible messages on how you feel, your mood, who you are as a person. Without a word, you could be scaring others away. The biggest tells before you say anything, speak a word, is how you react with your body first.
It’s the subtle movements and gestures, the vibe, this is how others subconsciously know who you are, the type of person you are, how you’re feeling at this precise moment, what you’re thinking. This the clues of knowing body language.
The definition of body language, even a photo, refers to the messages that you’re sending out, this your body gestures and contorted facial expressions. Experts in this field claim that less than 10% percent of the messages that we send to others are actually spoken.
How we appear and react compiles our makeup, these messages are conveyed through our vibration, the vibes that we send out, the rate of rapid gestures, our body posture and facial expressions.
The Vibrancy We Send
As infants, before we ever learn how to talk, those annoying people peering at your baby face, just look at your gestures, listen to your tone of crying, this when attempting to decipher what type of mood you’re in, what you’re trying to communicate.
So what type of messages are you conveying with how you’re reacting right now. Does your particular body language encourage others to approach you, or are you warning them to stay away like the plague.
The Man In The Mirror
Just take a moment to think how you usually sit or stand when you’re alone or with other people. Where are your hands placed, what are you doing with them. Where are you looking.
Does your face express warm interest, do you stare and gaze right through them, does your face remain tense, a stony mask of terror.
You Are What You Project
Most when unsure will just instinctively cross their arms across their chest when standing. What you’re signalling to others is that you’re closed, that you don’t want to be approached. Then just the bravest of souls will confront you when you adopt this posture.
You stand there awkwardly, your chest and shoulders slumped forward and droopy, you avoid eye contact, others will determine that you’re sad and lack in confidence. They’ll avoid talking to you since it may become an awkward experience.
When you’re standing slumping, you don’t project any signs of openness or that you’re sure of yourself, that you have absolutely any interest in those people around you. You appear invisible.
Regardless of how desperate you want someone, anyone to come over and engage with you, your body language is sending out disinterest and aloofness to them. It’s not likely anyone will attempt to start a conversation with you.
Actions Speak Louder Than
Some body language signals can definitely frighten people away, but then there are the open signals which encourages others to come forward and will gladly approach you.
There are ways that you can act and look a lot more open, friendly and approachable to others, absolutely everyone, this if you know and adopt the proper body language signals which are inviting and non-threatening.
Whether if you’re sitting down or standing, aim for a posture that’s alert and upright, yet your muscles completely relaxed. Know once your chest or shoulders begin to slump, and then straighten them up immediately.
Become aware on how you breath. Does your breathing move in and out down to your gut smoothly, or are they short and shallow, with jerky little gasps, stops and starts. If you hold your breath, that’s a sign of anxiety. What breathing shallow forces you to do is breathe more often, which increases your signs of nervousness.
Consciously, always tell all of your muscles to relax. Use your abdomen to breathe smoothly and deeply. Allow the bottom of your lungs to fill completely up with air, and then right to the top.
Projecting Your Aura
What are you doing with your hands, are they clenched and cold. The more tense that the social situation is, whatever you do with your hands feels like it’s the wrong thing. As a result, most will just cross their arms because they have nothing else to do with their hands, and crossing your arms warns others to stay away.
If you’re wanting to be approachable, keep your arms at your sides or put one hand casually in your pocket. If you need to hold something, keep the other hand dangling at the side of your body, and never in front of you.
What holding your arms in front of you does is it signals that you’re somehow trying to defend yourself against others, they get the message and will stay clear.
Know Where You’re At
Keep focus and remain aware on your immediate surroundings and those around you, emulate the same flow of how others are moving. Tune into, blend into the surroundings and their gestures as much as possible.
What doing so does is the takes your mind off focusing too much on your inner sensations and thoughts which may be negative. What doing so does is it reduces your anxiety and awkwardness.
If you’re wanting people to approach you, have a gentle pleasant and genuine smile. Smiling too much however, one that never softens will look forced and nervous.
So offer a pleasant smile with a bit of twinkle and life in your eyes, which conveys to others the impression that you’re approachable, and talking to you will be a pleasant experience. Imagine, all this body language happens before you actually say, “Hello, is it me you’re looking for.”