How To Create Your Own Happiness By Increasing Self-Esteem

Some people just choose not to be happy. If we’re not happy with how our lives are going, then we just tend to attribute our current state to something that’s completely out of our control, like blaming it on a string of bad luck or circumstances.

There are others who are just not simply blessed by external powers like some appear to be. We then as a result feel bitter, angry, disappointed and then eventually become depressed.

It’s always a lot easier and a factor of human nature to just focus on what’s wrong or missing, rather than what we have or what the potential solution is.

If happiness was based on just the results of what we currently have, then those who may be lacking what our ego is perceiving we are missing, should then be unhappy as well.

But it’s quite clear this isn’t the case. For those billions of people who happen to be living in Third World countries for instance, with lesser means, are grateful for waking up another day.

They may be living in poverty conditions, but most often superior indomitable spirit. They are often laughing, displaying affection by dancing and are just thankful for the smallest of events, like food.

Happiness Is…

If happiness is based on a result of financial abundance, then all of the millionaires of the world would be overtly happy, but many are obviously not.

Those who have lesser means in life then shouldn’t be happy at all, and are beaten by their fate in life.

Yet, there’s numerous examples of couples who may have several children to raise, and are having an extremely difficult time making ends meet at the end of the week.

They are also most commonly the happiest, go-lucky people around, thanking their particular god for the abundance of life.

They’ll joyfully describe to you their plans for an upcoming family vacation, a camping trip in the wilderness. All they could afford at this time is taking their tent to a nearby lake.

The entire family and dog are giddily excited and looking forward to their upcoming adventure.

The Core Of Happiness

If happiness was based on good health, then how would you explain the courageous way in which some are stricken with a terminal illness, are able to spread their love and joy to all of those around them.

There are obviously numerous examples and cross arguments, but it’s clear it’s not the current state of ones life which determines how they feel.

It’s rather their attitude, their perspective on their situation that makes all the difference.

What this equates to is we have a choice, our own choice, regarding how we decide to feel in any situation.

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Keeping Our Ego In Check

The ego which is a big part of our personality, doesn’t at times realize how it comes across, as it acts as a protective mechanism for avoid us from coming across as aloof or foolish.

It often has has a mind of its own, as it will constantly react on auto-pilot when triggered, once were challenged and go into the “fight or flight” mode.

This autonomic reaction is based on our beliefs and past experiences on similar situations, which the mind has previously stored stored for reference.

If we have a finely tuned aptitude, the brain is in complete control of the ego and our immediate response.

We don’t react any different when we’re faced with the same situation, regarding the “out of control” events which occurs externally in our lives.

The Ego On Happiness

If we believe someone is intentionally out to hurt us, the solution becomes a pretty obvious as far as the ego is concerned. It’s not interested in viewing the situation from any other perspective.

The biggest problem is our egos will keep us stuck. The ego can act as your own hand puppet which is controlled by all the situations in the external world.

Whether you’re happy or sad, mad or calm, up or down, what it depends on is what occurs in the external world.

Since ego won’t bother to change its perspective, the issues then just begins to pile up, reinforcing and then reassuring all of the old limiting beliefs.

We can then begin to get stagnant with our selves and then life begins to be like an endless series of struggles.

The Need For Control

The truth is however that life is full of challenges for everyone. Things do not always go as planned. At times, they just go badly.

What we can do is control and keep tabs on our emotional climate, similar to how we’re able to control the heat in our homes.

We’re able to set our own internal thermostat by becoming a problem solver, by taking action and becoming a controlled, peaceful and mindful being.

Of course we should transcend the judgments, the reactions as well as the “Chicken-Little” tendencies of our ego.

This may perhaps be the biggest challenge for those who choose evolution and conscious growth.

It’s a process which requires mindful attention directed towards our inner world, our self-honesty and a dedicated commitment to make the most out of our lives on this Earth.

It also can be rewarding, even when we’re taking those initial baby steps.

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