Those who are passive aggressive casts a certain mystique, a deliberate aura of uncertainty than predictability. They can appear aloof, uncertain of themselves, and can be frustrating to deal with when confronting them. They’re reactive rather than being proactive.
We’re all guilty on occasion of showing our passive aggressive nature to life’s problems, whenever we’re not sure. For others, silently manipulating people with indirect communication, is the only method of action for them. They are stealth like in their movements.
These are the passive aggressive individuals who often goes undetected in the office or in their social circles, this at least initially. The reason being what they’ll do is disguise their seething venom or hostility, with an outwardly pleasant demeanor. So know the tell-tale signs.
They Conveniently “Forget” Deliberately
Their choice of weapon at times is to appear and be viewed as being absentminded, this rather than irate or disagreeable. So instead of openly declining to work on a project, they’ll just claim that they forgot when the deadline expires.
Or that a passive aggressive friend will claim that they forgot to make reservations, appearing absentminded for that restaurant date, this because they didn’t actually want to go.
“Yes” Can Mean “No” When They Don’t Mean It
They want to come across as a people person, to satisfy others. Those who are of a passive aggressive nature, will rarely say “no” to anything, or they may completely ignore invitations altogether, only to claim that they never received an invite.
They’ll often agree to invitations or things to do when face-to-face, this to everything, including the things they have no interest in doing. Then to escape their obligations, they’ll predictably cancel the plans at the last moment, usually feigning an emergency.
Certain Backstabbing Behavior
What’s generally thought is that those who are passive aggressive won’t or don’t care to share their opinions, which isn’t always the case. They just don’t want to share them in an upfront manner.
They’re more likely to complain, to whine to everyone except the person that they’re complaining about. What this indirect elusive approach does is it hurts relationships while doing nothing to solve the issue or problem.
They’re Aloof And Inefficient Usually On Purpose
This personality type can at times be stubborn and frustrating. Whenever they don’t want or feel like doing something, they’ll often and suddenly become inefficient, this to avoid getting the task at hand completed.
Rather than they being direct and saying, “I’m having a bit of trouble with this project,” those who are passive aggressive will do is procrastinate on purpose, this in the hopes that someone else will take over.
They Smile To Mask Their Resentment
What passive aggressive people will rarely do is express their displeasure or anger in a direct open manner. Most will have a history of resentment or bitterness that’s built up, and is often lurking silently underneath a phony crooked smile.
Regardless of how much they despise or disagree with you, or what you’re saying, they’ll put on a mask to appear as if they’re completely in support of what you say or do.
They’re Constantly Seeking Revenge
What’s hidden underneath their calm outwardly agreeable demeanor is the desire to seek revenge on those who have hurt them, or did them wrong somehow, and they’ll never forget.
What they will do is often go to great lengths to silently retaliate against those individuals, whom they think may of taken advantage of them in the past somehow.
Then they’ll silently plot their revenge which are often indirect and calculated, such as an anonymous email or a nasty rumor that’s spread throughout the office, all while they hide behind their innocent mask of sincerity.
They May Plead Helplessness
Those who are passive aggressive most often have self-esteem issues, believing they don’t have that much control over the events of their lives.
Rather than they taking proactive steps to solve all their problems, what they convince themselves is that there’s no use trying, this since they can’t do anything about it anyways, constantly playing the victim card.
Their passive nature unnecessarily subjects them to more unnecessary hardships, then the majority of their negative predictions will usually turn into self-fulfilling prophecies.
They Avoid Confrontation At All Costs
Even if they’re deeply offended somehow, these individuals will always avoid direct confrontation. At times, they’ll display incongruity by stating things like “Whatever” or “That’s fine.”
Then they’ll claim that you don’t care about how they feel. Or they might allow others to treat them poorly, and then they’ll refuse to admit that their feelings were hurt.
They Constantly Manipulate Others
This by thinking that they’re being smarter. What passive aggressive people have difficulty doing is asking for what they want, and will then resort to manipulative tactics to get their needs met.
For instance, instead of they directly asking for help carrying something that’s heavy, they might just complain or become sarcastic.
“I’ll probably hurt my back again carrying this heavy box up the stairs all by myself.” They don’t care if others feel sorry for them, as long as they get their way.
Dealing With Passive Aggressive People
If you’re this person who decides to take this approach in life, then there are ways on how you can become more assertive.
Once what you say begins to align directly with what your behaviors and emotions are, then you’ll begin to live your life with more authenticity.
If you know someone who’s passive aggressive, your partner, a coworker, a family member or friend, just hold them more accountable. Allowing them to avoid responsibility or constantly escaping confrontation, just reinforces their behavior.