What a fine tuned high emotional intelligence has is the ability to immediately understand, acknowledge, and display feelings in real time, empathize with others, while regulating yourself so you won’t act impulsively.
When having a high emotional intelligence or EQ, you have the tact to delay your own personal gratification, as doing so will provide you long term gain. As a result, most prefer this type of intelligence over the traditional academic based forms such as IQ, what we’re taught in school.
Emotional Intelligence has important connections to situations which most of us encounter in the course of the day. A recent study showed that athletes who display a high EQ were better at controlling their stress levels and emotions when in competition.
But for the rest of us who live regular routine lives, our EQ faces different challenges on a daily basis. Our EQ is constantly put to the test in sticky interpersonal and social situations. Dilemmas, drama, and scenarios which tests whether you have a high EQ or not.
You Kind Of Smell Bad
Someone you know has body odor. This person either doesn’t have smell receptors, do the laundry, use deodorant, or doesn’t shower. This suffocating aroma makes you ill. You’re tempted to tell them, to make your objections heard.
The high EQ approach is somehow bringing to notice that they take care of their offending smell better, you know what you’re going to say, your concerns are in a non-confronting or hurtful manner.
Rather than placing the blame on the offending person, you would instead place it on your sensitivity to allergies. If you can’t find the proper words, then seek another approach. If it’s someone you don’t know well, but someone you value, you may just need to hold your breath to the offense, and just let the matter go.
If it’s a close friend who you care about, wait for the appropriate moment and then broach the subject in a concise and gentle manner. If this person is a co-worker, then request your manager to address the issue.
You’re Overheard By Someone
There you are in the restroom at a party or at work, and not realize that there was someone in the stall listening to you. Unfortunately, what you were doing was talking smack about that person. You’re not sure however if you were overheard or not, but most likely were.
The high EQ approach is that you would never speak that way in the first place as gossip is petty. Learn to never gossip in places which aren’t really that private in the first place.
This is usually a situation where you have to learn the hard way, this since if you’ve done this once, you’ll most likely repeat it again. It’s the “I think we’re alone” mentality. So assume you were heard, and somehow attempt to neutralize your rude comment the best way possible.
You may want to draw up the courage to just apologize for your lack of tact, and hope that this person, whether a friend or a work colleague, that their EQ is high enough to forgive you.
You Disapprove Of Someone
Say that someone who’s close to you meets someone new, a new flame, they think that it’s a match made in heaven, but you don’t think so. You’d like to tell your friend they’re making a mistake, but you’re afraid your opinion could create resentment.
The high EQ approach is first asking yourself why you disapprove of this new love interest of theirs. Is it jealousy, do you think this new person will threaten your relationship.
Are you thinking this new person resembles and reminds you of your own bad experiences you’ve had. Are you looking out for the best interest of your friend, and see nothing but bad turbulent times for them
Begin by asking a few questions which appears completely neutral, the ones which may help your friend to reflect on the potential problems in the future. Be prepared however, if you’re proven wrong.
Someone Who’s Always Late
You’re planning to meet someone, a friend or coworker to see a show, but the minutes continue to tick away while you wait for your companion who’s always late.
You’re feeling anxiety, your blood pressure is rising, as your resentment and anger elevates. You call repeatedly which goes directly to voice mail. You’re not sure if you should leave a message or not.
The high EQ approach is to regulate your feelings, your impatience, even if you know that they’re there. Don’t allow your emotions to spin out of control as it’s them that’s late and not you.
At times, you may find it difficult to keep those feelings inside of you once your friend finally arrives. Rather, give them the benefit of the doubt, as there may be a perfectly valid reason.
However, if you go beyond the point of no return and start screaming at them, you need to make this decision which you’ll regret later. If you’ve decided to go ahead to see the show on your own, explain that you had no other choice.
Never leave an angry voice mail, never make them feel bad, as doing so will spoil your relationship while ruining your own enjoyment as well.
Practicing High Emotional Intelligence
Some claim that high emotional intelligence is inherent, but it can be cultivated. Ones emotional state and self confidence when under pressure, can trump IQ when predicting performance.
When you’re confronted with a difficult social situation that needs tact, you have your EQ to draw from, but if you lack it, you can use your life experiences to decide the right thing to do.