We all make mistakes on occasion, exercise poor judgement, ill-advised errors of reasoning or at times do something corrupt. We behave in a way which impacts someone close to us or a situation. Then what becomes difficult is releasing the guilt or the self loathing for the blunder that’s been committed.
You then believe that you’re not worthy, that you failed somehow and feel guilty about it. You let yourself or someone else down and feel like a fraud. You convince yourself that you’re the source of the problem and not the solution.
The negative feelings and the thoughts which accompanies the memories of whatever you did, has its consequences. You damage yourself and your esteem, as the feelings of low self-worth causes stress and anxiety.
You then begin to sabotage your relationships, believing that you don’t deserve them, which builds a barrier between those important in your life. These negative thoughts robs you of your health and happiness.
All this self deprecation isn’t helping you in any way. It’s for certain that we all make mistakes to varying degrees, so get over it and then move on. You can’t change the past but can improve the future.
Being Human Is Being Fallible
We’re all part of an advanced species which has a conscious. We all know when we’ve made a mistake, while we also do a lot of things right. Some are small, while others are serious enough to impact others.
What regret demonstrates is that you care. What prolonged regret however does is it interferes with your life and those affected, such as your career, relationships, and health.
So create a mantra for yourself and then live by it. It might be something like “I’m human and I make mistakes.” “I’m also lovable and will get over it, as this too will pass.”
There’s No Benefit In Hating Yourself
You, the situation at hand, or others can’t benefit from your self-loathing. If you dig yourself in a hole, then stop digging. Do something proactive instead, something that’s more helpful.
Consider what you want more of, such as love, happiness, achievement, acceptance, generosity, belonging, gratitude, and then focus on that. Stop the “I should of.” Stop rehashing the past that you can’t change.
Consciously Stop The Negative Self-Talk
It almost appears automatic and uncontrollable, all this negative self-talk that you do. So recognize them and then confront all these messages, this by mindfully listening to your internal monologue.
Don’t accept these statements as being factual. Deliberately challenge and then oppose them, this by rephrasing them so they’ll be positive. Realize that these positive thoughts are usually just as true.
So the next time you hear yourself saying “I’m such an idiot, I shouldn’t have done that,” don’t feel shame. Instead, say “I could have done better. I’ll try something different next time.” What you’re then doing is empowering yourself to try harder.
Know What Triggers Those Negative Thoughts
Are there certain situations, people, or past memories which triggers all of this negative self-talk. What you need is to prepare your mantra ahead of time, along with other affirming statements which allows you to confront them.
Practice being mindful at all times, make sure that you breath deeply, use positive imagery, while taking time out of your day to regroup and rebuild your inner core by exercising or meditation.
It’s known that the easiest way someone gives up on their self empowerment is by thinking that they can’t.
Know How Your Thoughts Affect Your Feelings And Behavior
What all of the greatest known minds in the world who’s been able to influence the thinking of mankind, all recognized is the immense power of one’s thoughts and the impact they have.
That you become what you think, as the Universe has no other choice but to give you what you want or ask for. What thoughts do is shape our intentions, behaviors, feelings, and motivation. So think wisely, and then put them in motion to your advantage.
Focus On Gratitude
Start a journal or online blog and write down what you’re grateful for that day, what you valued and appreciated the most. Write down all the positives rather than dwelling on the negative.
What you’ll then begin to notice is a gradual shift towards feeling calmer and happier about your life, and the influence it has on everyone and everything that’s close to you.
Know Who You Are Who You Want To Be
Know all of your positive qualities. Constantly pause and then take note of them. Realize how you got to the exact point in your life that you are at today, right now, your current station of life.
Know what the influences are that attracts people to you. What makes them laugh, makes you funny, lovable, reliable, interesting to them. Know and then own up to all your values along with your contributions. Cherish everything that makes you unique.
Forgive Yourself
Apologize and forgive yourself for all of the mistakes that you’ve made. What the resentment of regret does is it holds you hostage of your negative thoughts and emotions.
Give yourself the freedom to accept all of your imperfections along with the lapses of poor judgment. Apologize to those who you affected, and promise that you’ll be a better person going forward.
Regarding that mistake you made. Know that without making mistakes, you’re not going to grow or learn about life. Without mistakes, you’re not getting better or expanding, not improving.
What making mistakes forces you is to try new and different things and alternate ideas. So just let them go, allow it to be a part of your past. Start fresh and focus on the future.