What most don’t realize is there’s an easy step you can take right now, which can alter whatever it is you’re wanting to change in your life for the better. It’s the choice to move away from being constantly judgmental, towards a state of showing empathy towards yourself and others.
Empathy is defined as mindful caring for the pain or distress of others, which is accompanied with a desire to help.
There’s nothing that feels better, more fulfilling and comforting than showing your empathetic state to someone, when responding to their painful experiences.
Empathy however, is never described as something you give to yourself, yet showing this self love is usually the starting point.
There’s a need to show this empathy towards yourself before you can towards others, otherwise, what you’ll end up is feeling alone, worn out, and not loved.
To Show Empathy
There are many who will display empathy towards others, while not giving it to themselves first, which is a mistake.
This could be caring towards a parent or a spouse, constantly attending to their issues, and will do everything they can to help them, even when they’re having their own personal problems.
They’re always there for their children, helping them with whatever problems arise, along with helping their friends however they can.
What everyone sees is this person to be an extremely loving and caring individual, which they are. Then why is this person so unhappy with themselves.
They constantly feel fatigued, depleted, and low in self-esteem. The reason for this is they’re completely out of touch with their own feelings, and won’t bother attending them.
Beyond Their Needs
The reason for this is because they’re so focused on meeting the needs of everyone else, they’ll rarely tune into the feelings and needs of their own.
Then they don’t realize how exhausted they are, or when they need some downtime. They have no idea when they’re feeling anxious, sad, frustrated, or lonely.
They have no empathy, no self love for themselves, as they find themselves using vices such as overeating, to fill the void.
This is the inner turmoil which results from not taking better loving care of themselves. This is common for those in a professional service field.
A Total Lack Of Empathy
Then there are those who completely lack empathy for anyone. It appears they just don’t care about people, or their feelings.
What it seems however, is they do have empathy for themselves because they do whatever they want. They feed themselves first.
They buy what they want, go after what they want, will spend their time whichever way they choose to, the definition of a big ego.
These choices come from their fears, and their addictive need to fill themselves externally with things to gain approval from others.
They also have no idea the effect their behaviour has on others, or have no idea how foolish or sad they appear.
They keep others waiting, will rarely do what they say they’ll do, and will become judgmental rather than show empathy. What they do is become angry when told what to do.
Lack Of Empathy For Self
These are the results of the fears and false beliefs they’ve accumulated from the past, which creates these painful defensive feelings they’re experiencing.
Having a lack of empathy for yourself and others, is the main reason for unhappy relationships and self depression.
When it comes to personal growth, showing empathy should be the highest priority, both for yourself and others. Then you’ll gradually shift towards being happier, and find peace.
Once moving towards empathy, you’ll find the reasons behind your feelings and behaviour, while showing compassion and understanding why and how others are feeling and behaving the way they do.
Moving Towards Empathy Is A Process
To adopt a state of empathy for yourself, begins with noticing how you self-judge, because showing judgment is the complete opposite of empathy.
Once you judge yourself, what you’re telling yourself is you’re wrong or bad for what your feelings or what your behaviour is, rather than coming up with justification.
So the next time you realize you’re judging yourself, stop yourself and consciously show more compassion, by mindfully placing yourself in a state of empathy.
Once your intention is to show empathy rather than constantly judging, what you’ll discover is you’re in a better harmonious state.
Empathy Towards Others
The next step involves showing empathy towards others, which is similar. Begin by noticing your anger, reserve, irritation, resentment, or resistance you feel towards them.
Realize these negative feelings are the polar opposite of empathy.
Once you notice what these feelings are, what you’ll have is a choice towards improved understanding and caring.
To Stop Judging
Every time you start judging yourself or others, instead, begin by judging yourself for judging. Learn to replace empathy every time you begin to place judgment.
Realize if you begin to judge for whatever reason, what you’re doing is remaining critical.
Once you begin to replace your judgment with empathy, you’ll then gradually begin to see yourself along with others in a different light, one with compassion.
Shifting Towards Empathy
Every time you become more compassionate with yourself, it becomes gradually easier. What you’ll discover is focusing on empathy, will shift you towards the peace you’re seeking.
What it comes down to is intent, to protect yourself against the pain from your toxic behaviours, such as anger, blaming others, because of being judgmental.
You begin to learn how to love yourself and others on an unconditional basis, as what the deepest desire for most is to become a loving human being.
Becoming and displaying empathy towards everything you do, becomes a positive step towards that path.