The majority of us from an early age are conditioned to excel, encouraged to be great. Being the best we can be is a worthy goal, but the pursuit of excellence can be a slippery slope. What we strive for is the intent of reaching our potential, whatever it may be.
The pressure we face, once we force ourselves to be great can at times lead to our downfall, as we feel insecure if we fail.
This can then blunt our self-esteem. What pursuing perfection reveals, is a dark side to what should be a positive quality.
The reason being it produces high levels of anxiety, as perfectionists are known to age quicker because of the stress of doing things without error.
It’s proven the pursuit of excellence, being great, can strain our mental health.
Attempting To Be Great
What attempting perfectionism does is dampens the quality of our life, because once we reach a goal, it’s usually not enough.
What this can result in, is accelerated burnout at school or once in the workplace.
The mind feels exhausted because of extreme stress which leads to chronic fatigue, contributing to poor performance, which counters the pursuit of excellence.
There’s a certain tipping point in we wanting to be great, the “Tomorrow I’ll be perfect” syndrome, as it’s always set too high.
Then it’s our confidence that suffers once we fail, because we expect to reach our goals but don’t.
The Environment Of Competition
Parents who are overly demanding can push their children to feel intense anxiety, which only slows down their progress.
This focus on being perfect, to be smarter or more accomplishment can be disabling, and have false consequences.
The parents who constantly pushes their kids to “succeed,” have no idea of the stress and self-doubt they’re instilling in them.
They make them feel like their failures, unworthy and undeserving because they can’t live up to expectations. The parents scold them, instead of culturing and encouraging them.
We grow up in an environment of competition that starts in grade school, that winning is the only outcome.
Not all children are gifted or strong, but are yet thrown into the same classroom to compete with others who are, which elevates stress while lowering confidence at a young age.
There’s The Entitlement
Then there are the children who are constantly overpraised and overindulged, which can lead to entitlement and bullying.
What this does is blunts their motivation, becoming lazy and spoiled. This results in insecurity later on in their lives.
Once a parent constantly tells how special they are, and unless they are truly gifted, can lead them to feel like a phony.
False Praise
They feel like a fraud since they’re not able to live up to how their parents defines them, and feel they failed themselves.
Once these children enter into adulthood, sent off to college on their own, they feel helpless and alone.
They quit and go home, or phone mommy seeking help because they have to do things on their own, which becomes too overwhelming.
Their over inflated sense of self pride is burst by reality, which results in low self-confidence.
The Need For A Delicate Balance
There are the parents who overpraises their children, while others are too demanding and critical. The child is at a disadvantage either way, once they face the real world.
Once children feel unloved, they find ways to get noticed in other ways.
Those who were fed false praise or pushed too hard, grow up wanting to prove something, so someone will give them the attention they desperately want.
They want to prove they’re worthy, prove to everyone they can excel. So they push themselves beyond what they’re capable of, which inevitably falls short.
The pressure mounts because of the feeling of insecurity, as there’s the need to challenge them at its core, to rid of the self-shaming attitudes.
Children Mirror Their Parents
Children pick up their attitude from their parents. Their critical inner voice becomes destructive, while it carves out false viewpoints.
This critical voice then fuels the feelings of insecurity, and the pressure to be perfect.
They end up feeling they’re never good enough, don’t measure up, they’re a fake attempting to fool those they’re trying to impress.
This damning voice demands they be better regardless of what they achieve, but it never seems to be enough.
This is why there are some who are wealthy, but never seem happy or just hoard their money, thinking it’s not theirs or they don’t deserve it.
The Pursuit Of Success
Parents need to love their kids for who they are, as each are brilliant in their own way. By praising their effort and not demanding it, encouraging them to pursue their passion.
The parents need to lead by example, to foster a sense of accomplishment, to display the pursuit of doing things they love, while working hard to reach their goals.
To create that delicate balance between nurturing and offering the right degree of praise, to encourage enthusiasm and independence.
Be The Best You Can
For anyone to reach their potential in this world is difficult, so that shouldn’t be the focal point or the goal.
What’s important is knowing your worthiness, as feeling insecure is something everyone struggles with.
The goal should be conquering our inner critic, while becoming more self-accepting of ourselves. Being our best doesn’t always mean being perfect.
There are just a few individuals who are able to be the “best” at what they do, so trying to be successful rather than being successful is what matters.
Pursue the things which you are passionate about. Just trying your best, is the best lesson you can learn.