One of the very basic needs of any human, is to feel like they’re accepted by others, their peers and the people they have to deal with. What’s known is just being aware of this, might be the key to establishing better relationships with anyone you know.
As a result, one of the bigger self-improvement markets, is tailored towards educating individuals on how to be liked.
What’s taught are the various proven ways on connecting with people, while building everlasting relationships over time.
These individuals might be mutual friends, family members, relatives, business associates or work colleagues.
I Want To Be Liked
One of the best ways on how you can make someone feel liked, is by making them feel welcome, wanted, accepted.
What doing so does, is it furnishes one of “Maslow’s” hierarchy of basic human needs.
What he states is the one thing we human’s want, and that is to feel a sense of belonging within a group setting.
Every individual wants to feel they’re part of a tribe, within a group of people such as their immediate circle of friends, the cool kids.
This same feeling also applies to bigger groups such as: sports teams, clubs, departments, associations, or at parties.
Just Listen To Them
What the majority of people have, is this innate need to belong and are needed somehow.
What we all want is to fit within other humans, especially those who we have something in common with.
One of the ways to convey this acceptance, is by simply listening to them.
Take the time and the patience needed so they could air out their concerns, and hear their angst.
What listening does, is it communicates the message their thoughts and feelings are heard and valued, and are important to you.
This answers the core need to belong, while providing a sense of worthiness.
Human Behaviour That’s Considered Annoying
What we’re all guilty of at one time or another, is one or several of the following situations, which deters us from being liked.
• While someone is sharing some type of important insight, their viewpoint or opinion, you suddenly barge in and finish their thought
• While someone is telling a story, what you do is chime in and tell your own similar story
• During a meeting, a co-worker or a superior will suddenly cut you off when explaining your opinion
• You’re wanting to discuss something important with your spouse, but they’re not listening to you, they completely ignore you
Under any of these circumstances, how did you feel to be on the receiving end, not very good. What you felt was you were taken for granted.
It felt like no one was listening to you, your opinion doesn’t matter. What this tells you is what you think, your ideas or concerns doesn’t matter, and not accepted.
It Begins As Infants
At the onset of our lives, we as infants can only feel the silent positive or negative vibes of our parents.
We feel a sense of acceptance and love, as our mom constantly touches, speaks, and caresses us in a loving way.
As we grow into children and then adults, that same sense of acceptance along with importance comes from our family members, teachers, peers, work colleagues, our children, etc.
What every person wants regardless of who they are, what age they may be, what status in life they’ve achieved, is to be accepted by those who are important to them.
What it does is places meaning, a sense of belonging into our existence.
A Life Of Not Being Accepted
Imagine going through life without being acknowledged by anyone. Imagine an existence of infants who were abandoned at birth by their mother.
The ultimate effect would blunt our emotional well-being when growing up, a life with no connection to love.
A life of growing up feeling dejected, alienated, and not feeling the warmth of human bonding.
The effects of this discrimination will usually result in resentment, and if not controlled, may eventually result in violent or criminal tendencies.
A Life Of Resentment
The minimal result of this resentment, will at the very least escalate into anger and hostility towards people and society.
Once an individual becomes hostile, the violence usually escalates beyond the law or morality.
Resentment is similar to a forest fire. It can quickly grow into something uncontrollable, especially once fanned or provoked with yet more resentment.
Just the simple civil act of accepting someone, extending love or empathy can make or break them.
Acceptance The Act Of Gratitude
Acceptance must and should be given as unconditionally as possible. Those who provide this acceptance, shouldn’t be expecting anything back in return.
There should never be any strings attached, or commitments or payback to be fulfilled.
Expecting to get something in return, just defeats the purpose of making others to like you.
In fact, what doing so does is it breeds resentment, or it may appear like you’re attempting to manipulate them, by forcing them to act in a certain way.
Unconditional Love And Acceptance
What the act of unconditional acceptance towards the thoughts of others, their ideas, and their concerns does, is it yields favourable outcomes.
It returns unconditional love while eliciting cooperation, which leads to everyone working towards a common thought.
What providing unconditional acceptance to another human does, is they will return the favour.
At the same time, it raises their self esteem, importance, morale, and their confidence to whom the person you’ve granted the acceptance to.
So always be open and willing to listen to what others have to say, their likes and dislikes, whether their input is feasible or not.
Just listen to their thoughts and opinions unconditionally. You’ll then not only garner goodwill, but will also gain their respect.