Coming across and making a good first impression, is key when it comes to our social lives. Imagine you’re at dinner or on a job interview. How you come across, the reaction you make on others, either spells failure or success in the interaction. It decides if they like you or not.
To be well-received, what’s needed is to instantly and effectively convey qualities such as being trustworthy, warm, competent, and not annoying.
But at times we’re awkward, aloof, or come across as being too arrogant or shy. So what needs to be refined, is tuning up our impression management techniques.
There are some who are extremely gifted and polished at presenting themselves, this towards others in a positive light.
Once someone doesn’t, it’s thought they don’t have the manners or the mental energy, that’s needed to properly navigate these social situations.
To Present Well
What self-presentation involves, is you need to first mindfully know the exact image you’re wanting to portray to others. Then you need to strategically and accurately present that image.
Mindfully presenting this image however, is what experts claim taxes mental resources.
What making a good positive impression does is takes self-regulation along with self-control, which requires effort.
For instance, once someone becomes cognitively distracted or overloaded, what they can become is overly boastful, which doesn’t assimilate well with others.
To Display Empathy
What’s thought is some just represents themselves poorly, not because of a lack of energy or resource depletion, but because of certain unconsidered factors.
This includes not taking the other person’s perspective, not seeing their point-of-view.
What impression management does, is refers to the ability for one to anticipate what the other is thinking, which is difficult for some.
Once it goes awry, it’s because of “guessing” wrong, which is revealed by the negative emotional reaction of the other person.
Another Factor Is Narcissism
Initially, the narcissist and their energy is entertaining and enduring. But over time, their arrogance and antagonism begins to reveal itself.
Once they display their annoying behavior, you realize they don’t give a damn about what you think, which repels you.
What narcissist’s believe is they’re more superior than others, and thus will make downward comparisons, while disparaging them.
They also have a lack of empathy, perspective, to mask their low self-esteem. What failing to take the viewpoints of others does, is contributes to a negative impression.
“I’m Better Than You”
What displays of self-aggrandizing doesn’t do is sit well with most, which leaves a bad impression in their minds.
Those who constantly presents themselves in self promoting ways, whether they’re right or not, becomes annoying.
What they’ll constantly do is compare themselves to others, always in a favorable light, such as “I’m a better person to be friends with, than that person.”
If someone isn’t as self-enhancing as they are, what they’ll make are non-comparative or unfair assertions when dealing with them.
They believe, “I’m undoubtedly far superior than you, and the best person here.”
Almost everyone becomes wary or annoyed of this, once the individual makes downward social comparisons, whether the situation is academic, social, or friendship.
What bothers most, isn’t the offending person had a negative viewpoint on them, but on everyone else as well.
They’re then forced to become self-protective, which can turn into hostility and antagonism.
This is a form of impression mismanagement when someone is constantly bragging about themselves, but it’s disguised as complaining.
For instance, an attractive female posts on Facebook. “My hair is a mess because it’s raining outside,” or “I just woke up from a nap so I look grouchy, but I still got likes. So I’m confused!”
By appearing humble, what a person does is draws attention towards their positive attributes, in a manner that’s seemingly unoffensive.
What using this tactic can do is backfire however, because the sincerity of the post comes into question, which leads to a negative impression.
Once someone constantly brags, does is results in failing to consider how important coming across as being genuine is.
Perceived insincerity then becomes critical to interpersonal appeal. Constantly bragging then becomes less effective, than complaining.
What’s known is complainers are regarded as being more sincere and likeable, than those who brag while coming across as being humble.
What these “humble braggarts” believe is they can mask their ulterior motives, but are usually exposed.
Being A Hypocrite
Hypocrisy is those who claims a certain image of themselves, but fails to live up to the standards of that image.
What they’ll do is constantly “talk the talk,” but fail to walk the walk, this especially around moral issues.
Being a hypocrite can work, if the divergent behavior remains concealed.
But once it’s exposed, the hypocrite will then become disliked, more than those who behaves like a hypocrite, and claims the image.
Backhanded Sarcastic Compliments
A backhanded sarcastic compliment is an insult that’s disguised. It’s cloaked in some form of praise, where they’re purposely being condescending to the individual they’re flattering.
For instance, “I didn’t think you would do that well on the exam. That’s great, congratulations.” The implication is sincerity, but they’re also saying they’re smarter, more intelligent than you are.
What people like are compliments, and see them favorably, but will recoil when it’s a backhanded sarcastic compliment.
These bids, attempts for superiority then fails spectacularly. What this person is concerned with, is how others evaluate them.
They’re likely to gain more respect, once they appear unconcerned regarding how others view them. Which takes self-regulation along with self-control, which requires effort.
For instance, once someone becomes cognitively overloaded or distracted, what they become is more sarcastic, which just doesn’t go over well with most.