What having strong emotional intelligence displays are certain attributes for those who are socially skilled. What most feel and portray however, is they have no idea how to act in certain social situations. They feel aloof, and their erratic awkwardness proves it.
They think they’re doomed to a life of nerdiness. Their social graces, they wanting to fit in with the hip groovy crowd will never likely happen.
Regardless of how fragile your social skills may be, all it takes are usually making just a few minor adjustments in behaviour.
What being socially sleek does is offers currency in getting ahead in life, including more success at work, to capturing better relationships with the elite crowd.
Knowing how you come across in social situations becomes an important positive skill set to adopt, for establishing your personal identity.
You’ll then feel more refined when interacting with others, especially when meeting strangers for the first time.
What you’ll then know is you can rely on your new found communication skills, behaviour and appearance.
1.) – Control Your Nonverbal Behaviour
Know when to make appropriate eye contact. Come across with a smile which isn’t phony, creepy or forced, when exchanging pleasantries. Have a firm handshake and not a cold fishy one.
These gestures of nonverbal human communication, perceives to others you’re self-confident and approachable, a refined socially tuned in person.
This opposed to coming across as “cold,” not interested in connecting with anyone, coming across as standoffish or even angry.
Warmly connecting is when you appear likeable, allowing others to feel at ease in your company. What you want is to appear friendly and approachable if you want others to like you.
Once they do, they’ll want to be around you, which increases your chances of new relationships and work success.
2.) – Mind Filter What You Say
Always be mindful enough to develop the skill to control what you’re planning to say before you say it, by regulating your verbiage output.
Suddenly swearing or yelling at others or objects isn’t considered acceptable social etiquette. This especially in most group settings such as the workplace or the dinner table.
What’s also not acceptable are sudden outbursts of anger towards those you live, work, date, or are related to. What that equates to is having a few screws loose.
There are certain exceptions when you feel comfortable expressing what you’re truly thinking.
These include those you are lifelong close with, or with your work buddies having a beer, because it’s expected. It’s knowing when these behaviours are okay and tolerated, and when they’re not.
It becomes easy to fall prey to drop a few obscenities when you’re talking, as it sends a shock statement.
What you need to know is when it’s appropriate and know exactly where to draw the line, just as you need to wear clean clothes to appear presentable.
It’s vital to meet and greet others with respect, while polishing your speaking and language skills.
3.) – Not Crossing The Line
Knowing how to act and when to say something that’s appropriate and not unexpected, is a dangling balancing act that keeps you aligned socially.
It’s also knowing precisely when to maintain the proper distance, between you and others tastefully and tactfully.
We know the blushing embarrassment it is, listening to the village idiot mouthpiece who talks too much, or the gossip queen who constantly overshares, invading everyone’s personal space.
They have a habit of revealing way too much of themselves to others, things that can’t be unheard.
They have no clue where to draw the line when it comes to those in authority such as the boss, or the opposite sex.
What they do is just constantly blab on, this to anyone who’ll listen, usually fuelled by a few adult beverages.
All this does is instantly perceives them as lacking good judgment and maturity.
4.) – Show Empathy Towards Others
To be liked, you need to activate your “emotion” detectors, as having finely tuned social skills means you’re sensitive enough to read the nonverbal behaviour of others.
Always detect and read their body language first, as a way to detect what and how they’re feeling at that precise moment. Is it nervousness, sadness, stress, or are they happy and relaxed.
Use these body vibe signals as a baseline on how you’ll respond or act in their presence. You don’t need to verbally state you recognize what their feelings are.
What you can do instead is gather the data about their current emotions, to communicate back in an appropriate reciprocal manner.
Begin by mirroring their body language, telling them you know what they’re going through.
5.) – Control Your Emotions
You need to be on top of your own feelings, as we can all suddenly become upset, snubbed, or have a sudden irrepressible impulse for inappropriate outbursts, such as laughter.
If you want to be regarded as having refined social skills with everyone you come in contact with, you’ll need to monitor and stifle those emotions.
Or on the other hand, what some won’t do is show any type of expression or emotion whatsoever, while others will constantly expose way too much.
The better you become at controlling just the emotions you want to show, is when you’ll be considered someone others can trust.
6.) – Improve Your Self-esteem
Having refined social skills will have no purpose and won’t help whatsoever, if you don’t genuinely believe in them.
Have the confidence in your ability so you can communicate effectively with others, which will be displayed once you show self-composure.
Once you look as if you feel comfortable in your own skin during social interactions, is when you’ll appear approachable and genuine.
As your social skills improve, what generates are the benefits of improved self-esteem.