Most conflicts can often be traced to a stubborn enlarged ego, or a simple misunderstanding. What this pride does is it clouds the issue, to the point some will falsely believe that someone, somehow, implies they’re at fault, so they don’t back down.
They’re accused of being ignorant, lack intelligence, or have a poor grasp of reality. Realism can be skittish, as it is subjective.
Everyone has their own point of view, based on their culture and life experiences, a collection of reasons others don’t know or share.
The key to any miscommunication, is understanding how difficult articulation can be, while finding a middle ground. To dissolve barriers which leads to the confusion.
It’s All Just Talk
Even just the simplest of communication, can have multiple components which runs the risk of misunderstanding, from the speaker to the listener.
This is based on their different points of view, the words and the tone spoken, along with the different implied meaning each word has on them.
The actual intended words versus the actual words, the context, and the process of flow.
The process is usually more circular in fashion, yet can be interpreted as a more linear statement.
What complicates things is adding emotion, expectations, past history, and triggers. It becomes a miracle any message can concisely be understood by anyone.
Watch What You Say
We learn not to say what we really want or mean to say, from an early age. Children are taught not to ask for food or money at a neighbours house.
If thirsty, they would try to look as thirsty as possible. If someone offered a glass of water, some would politely decline, and only on insistence, might graciously accept the drink.
What we want is to perpetually please people, thinking everyone can read our minds.
The problem is, most are so concerned about themselves, they don’t care about you or what you’re currently thinking. They have their own issues rambling in their heads.
Just Listen More
What most don’t do is listen because they’re formulating what they’re going to say next, without hearing the substance of what the other person is saying.
Or if they’re emotional, they’ll just hear the other person through filters on what they think they’re saying to them. Instead, learn to listen to the context.
At times, people will just hear the beginning of the sentence and then jump to conclusions, without even realizing the person is meaning something different.
Repeat Back What You Heard
Repeat back to yourself what you’ve just heard, and then ask if that’s what they were trying to say. Don’t be afraid to repeat back to them, what you just heard.
“Did you just say…” or “You just said you’re concerned we won’t meet the deadline.”
All you’re wanting to establish is what needs to be done, or find out how long it’ll take.
If it appears like the person is saying one thing, while really meaning something else, then you can respond by saying.
“I’m a little distracted today and busy, so just to make things clear…” Then ask them to clarify or repeat what they said.
Share Events
Communication is always a two-way street. Once someone begins to open up to you and share their experiences, reciprocate back. “I was thinking the same thing.”
Show your vulnerability, while doing your best to articulate your feelings.
Lose the ego, or your need to always be right, as doing so is the enemy of honest open communication.
Be Flexible
Realize in spite of your efforts, there may still be some type of misunderstanding, as what everyone has is their own point of view.
There are no two people that will ever see things exactly the same, not even biological twins.
There’s no right or wrong, just the mutual agreement of different viewpoints.
Just Speak For Yourself
What you’re wanting is to make your point known, where you stand. You’re sharing your opinion or your own experiences. What you shouldn’t do is speak for others.
They and only they should be able to share their own thoughts. We can tell them we’re hurt by a certain behaviour they have, but we shouldn’t accuse or blame them for it.
Telling others they’re wrong for doing a certain behaviour, or telling how they should feel is none of our business.
Always Be Understanding
What you’ve had was a misunderstanding, and it was perhaps even cataclysmic. What you need is to learn from it, and let it go like water under a bridge.
Use it to foster closeness, to better understand the relationship in the future.
Use it to create greater awareness of what you think, speak, and hear in the future. Admit you were wrong, even if you weren’t.
We’re in this life together, to evolve, mature, so be more gentle on yourself by trusting and forgiving others, as this too will pass.
Just Let It Go
If there’s conflict as a result of a misunderstanding, then give it time to resolve.
Pause for a moment before reacting, while clarifying before you respond, or ask time to think about it. Time eventually heals all wounds, provided you’re open to it.
Relive all the good feelings you’ve had when you understood one another, and then pinpoint exactly when the misunderstanding began.
The most basic need of humans is the need to connect with each other. To find a middle ground, with a sense of belonging and understanding.
So step back, lose your ego, listen, be flexible, and improve your communication skills. Lose that arrogance, as we all need each others respect.