What all those so called love advisors preach, is that before you can truly love someone else, that you need to love yourself first. One of the keys to living a complete meaningful life, is to be mindful and aware of yourself and how you fit in with others. Our lives without a doubt, will constantly be bombarded with a variety of ups and downs, and experience major trauma, hurt and triumphs, so we need to adjust ourselves accordingly.
What we all hopefully do sooner than later, is learn from our mistakes that we’ve made and move on with that chapter of our lives. Our experiences, good or bad, is our training ground so we can move forward towards a richer more complete life.
“Know thyself” appears to be the key. So our first assignment when it comes to becoming a mature adult, is to know who we are, how we react in times of duress, this to flourish and improve as an individual.
Love Yourself First
Once we’ve established and have a fairly good idea of who we are, know the influence that we can have on others and the world, then we’re ready to love others. This is when we can begin the journey of finding a true long lasting relationship, and offer ourselves.
What’s known, is that having a genuine mutual compatible intimate relationship with another person, is the second most difficult relationship that you’ll have in your life. The first, is knowing, loving and being yourself.
Then you have the opportunity to live your life to your fullest potential, as you can then educate your knowledge to another human being, who you’re in the relationship with. It is however, a difficult process to develop, this healthy bond, which reaches the impression of both individuals.
Help Each Other To Grow
What each of us eventually becomes, is a mirror of one another. What we learn are the feelings and behaviors of our partner, without needing to say a word. What we gain are new perspectives, this through their vision, which enhances our own.
The relationship then becomes a win for both, as each benefits. Our partner’s interests serves us, which then becomes fertile ground so we can all learn and grow together in unison.
Respecting Individual Boundaries
We still remain unique individuals, as our hearts beat differently. Our differences however, should never be less or greater than the other. It should instead be seen as an opportunity to gain new perspective on one another. What a healthy relationship does, is embraces and nurtures uniqueness.
Be wary of those who attempts to control you, constantly tells you what to do, where they attempt to diminish your individuality, this because what you’re doing, is threatening their ego somehow.
This happens once you don’t see things their way, or you’re too independent of them. Avoid those who forces you to make you like them, as that’s the only way they’re comfortable.
A healthy relationship, is when you respect each others boundaries. So what you give each other, is the space that you both need. This can at times, mean being away from one other on occasion, so you can both be alone, spend time with friends, or to pursue other interests.
Have Healthy Dialogue And Communication
What you should feel is free and comfortable, to say whatever is on your mind without the fear of ridicule. What’s known, is that no one will agree with everything that you say, so it becomes vital to keep the communication lines open.
Keep it straightforward, be completely honest and not judgmental. Never criticize continuously, shame or blame. Always listen to the “message” behind what your partner is saying, and not just the words. Learn to read their expressions and the tone of their voice, their behaviors and actions.
Sharing Similar Values
Hopefully you’re both on the same page, when it comes to the key major issues of life. These can include family values, children, religious and spiritual beliefs. What having similar vision about life, does is creates a mutual understanding of relating to each on the important issues.
This isn’t saying, that those who are from different backgrounds, cultures, religions or ideologies can’t flourish. What these differences may take however, is more time to work out. This becomes possible, once the values that each other carries are respected enough, to make the relationship work.
Give Unconditional Trust
What having unconditional trust means, is that you both have the belief you have what it takes, to overcome any and every storm you face in life, and pass it with flying colors. To overcome all turbulence, while standing up for and by each other.
What having unconditional trust implies, is that there’s unwavering confidence in one another. That regardless of what happens in the relationship, both will remain united and loyal to one another.
You honor and respect each others decisions and commitments. Always be honest, and remain open to talk, so you can both work out whatever differences there may be.
All Life Decisions Are Shared
What will inevitably arise in any relationship are disagreements. One partner, shouldn’t also be making all or most of the major life altering decisions. Instead of becoming angry and frustrated, once problems do arise, it’s important to get input from one another.
It often takes both sides of the opinion, to reach the right compromise, the proper balance, this by drawing on each others previous experiences, knowledge, and wisdom.
So learn to compromise by giving and taking, which becomes an important process when it comes to solving mutual issues. Above all, each person should be contributing equally.
Let Things Go And Move On
Life is all about getting better, growing, changing, and transitioning. Nothing ever stays the same, although we want certain things to stay familiar, because that’s when we feel the safest.
All of the twists and turns that life throws your way, all of the good and the bad, will eventually find its way into every relationship.
What’s needed, are ways to work through these roadblocks, this towards the next chapter of the journey. Although frustration can set in, it becomes crucial to work through all of life’s quirky twists.
What a loving healthy relationship does, is teaches you to stand up for one another, to fight the good fight, and remain united together. What unity does, is provides balance and strength.
Our loving relationships, are and should be sacred and precious. What it deserves is our full undivided attention, this with respect, gratitude, trust, and mutual compassion.