The biggest jump that we make in our lives, and perhaps the most painful is when we as adolescents, are suddenly thrust into the unknown, and are forced to act as adults. There are some who are pushed far too early, such as in their teenage years, which for many is far too young, as the joys of youth are stripped away from them.
Then once as adults, what most are completely unaware of, is that they’re still conducting their lives by the decisions that were formed when they were still a child. They still use the same framework and viewpoints for reference, this instead of from a mature adults perspective.
What we as individuals, both men and women will do is physically mature at different rates. That’s when we begin controlling our lives and making our own decisions. But rarely does anyone ever achieve complete emotional maturity.
The primary reason why we don’t fully mature, is because of some type of unresolved childhood trauma. These are the defense mechanisms that children have put into place, to protect themselves or to fight off emotional pain and dread.
The roadblocks that children face, are the same anxieties that are related to maturing and growing up.
How Emotionally Mature Adults Will Conduct Their Lives
1.) – You Have Emotional Control
All adults will eventually experience every type of emotion. When it comes to taking some type of action, immature adults will make irrational decisions that are based on their ego or self interests.
Fully mature adults are capable of knowing the difference, between the emotional process and the intellectual process. They have this ability so they can choose between having ones functionality and decision making, that’s guided by logical thoughts.
They also display a strong sense of identity, while striving to live with integrity, this according to their own values and principles that they believe in.
2.) – You Have Balanced Relationships
What mature adults will seek, is equality when it comes to their relationships. For those who continues to operate from a child’s perspective, they’ll often take on the role of either the child or the parent.
Those who are emotionally mature, operates in the adult mode. They base their actions for the good of each other, as completely independent individuals. They will never tell anyone what to do.
They will give the other full consideration, based on complete give-and-take when it comes to the reciprocal need of gratification. They’ll never fall into the master/slave scenario.
They’ve developed the capacity to give and accept love, and while doing so, will never attempt to recreate the role of a parent in their partner, this by forming a fantasy based bond with them for safety or security.
3.) – You’re Completely Open Without Becoming Defensive
Those who are emotionally mature, won’t display anger or show defensive reactions to any feedback or criticism that they receive. They won’t bother to disagree with any negative commentary.
Instead, they’re open to exploring new ideas which makes them a better person. They want and welcome any type of constructive criticism, so they can expand their own self awareness from a different point of view.
Mature adults will seek out and discover self-knowledge to know themselves better, while developing a better more accurate concept of themselves. They realize that they’re not perfect, and accept both the positive and the negative opinions of their personalities.
They also have a realistic perspective of themselves, when it comes to their relationship with others. In the pursuit of this self discovery, they’re also aware of all subconscious motivation, while attempting to integrate it the best way they can.
4.) – You Make And Reach Your Goals
What fully grown mature adults will do, is formulate goals by making a plan. Then they will take the appropriate action, so they can achieve them. This way, they can establish all of their priorities in life.
By contrast, those who continues to live within a child’s state of mind, will constantly overreact emotionally, when it comes to events that are completely insignificant, in the overall scheme of their lives.
They’ll then fail to respond to the events, that are significant or are crucial when it comes to their overall well-being. Instead, they get caught up in pointless drama and gossip.
Since mature adults will pursue their goals and priorities honestly, their actions are then more than likely to correspond to the final results.
5.) – You’re Proactive Rather Than Reactive
Fully grown emotionally mature adults are usually proactive and assertive, rather than being passive and dependent on others. They never feel victimized by life, complain, or shove off their problems onto others.
Instead, they face their challenges and problems head on, and then work out the best solutions rather than they depending on others for direction or help.
They will seek out help only in relation to whatever they actually need, in the areas where they may lack expertise, and not towards any unresolved emotional deficits from their past.
6.) – You Generate Personal Power
Some just don’t have that firm control over their thoughts or feelings. These are the events or drama, that will arise unbidden during the course of their day. And as a result, they will overreact emotionally.
Emotionally mature adults however, will take complete command and power over every part of their conscious existence. They’re constantly improving any behavior or characteristics, that they don’t like in themselves.
So what these mature adults will do as a result, is approach their entire lives from the perspective of being completely responsible, and become the sole director of their destiny.
The Adult Child
These immature individuals, who continues to view the world while still in the child mode state of mind, feels that they’re powerless and cursed, and always at the mercy or acceptance of others.
They become completely overpowered by their own emotional reactions, when under times of stress or critical decision making.
They then become victims of negative circumstances, that are beyond their control. Adult children will then generally feel that they’re unable to act or protest in their own defense.
Everyone wants to live as mature adults and is obviously the preference. So why then is it that so many individuals, chooses to function as an emotional adult child, and refuses to grow up.