There are words coming out of your mouth but your audience is nonresponsive, as what you’re unable to tell is a captivating awe inspiring story. What will make you popular and sought after beyond first impressions, is your ability to tell an interesting yarn.
This could be an evening out with friends or family, entertaining that new ravishing date, chit-chatting with a coworker or your hair dresser.
Being able to tell an interesting story is an accelerating way to pass the time, while impressing your listener with your astute and engaging method of verbiage.
For most, the art of telling stories appears to stagnate right after saying, “Once upon a time…”
You can instantly tell within minutes whether someone has the gift of creative gab or not. There’s a concise word for it, you’re “boring.”
You want to exit stage left as you squirm uncomfortably in your seat, uninterested, not listening to what they’re saying, as your mind gets affixed on their flaring nostrils.
To Tell A Story
What most do is complain about the substandard life they lead. Most talk about their drab existence, or are so narcissistic all they talk about is themselves.
Most tell stories to comfort their personal disappointment, their hurt feelings, their fears of they making a mistake.
They repeat these stories on autopilot over and over, the cry in their voice demands sympathy. These stories can then affect the well-being of the listener.
If someone is empathetic, they’ll usually resonate to the negative feelings along with them.
What’s known is if a negative story is shared with an emotional undertone, those who hear these sad sack stories actually feel worse.
Listening To Negative Experiences
What the accumulation of constantly hearing negative stories, provided it’s in small doses does, is the listener is able to manage their own negative emotions.
But once they reflect on these experiences over time, doing so may have detrimental health consequences.
Another outcome when it comes to those who constantly tells depressing stories, is they begin to think their listeners are actually interested in them, and they’re a good communicator.
Alternately, the more one hears someone constantly exclaim sadness, the more they send silent signals of their disinterest.
These story tellers then becomes negatively reinforcing stimuli that everyone wants to avoid.
To Tell Better Stories
Begin by setting up the context. When telling a story, know the start, middle, and the ending in any given situation.
Always know where your story is headed, one where your listener has no idea of the outcome.
The first few words you speak should introduce such details, this similar to what a good news reporter would do, providing the who, what, where, why, and how.
Avoid Using Tangents
It becomes easy to lose track of your own details, especially if you have a mind that tends to skip ahead or wander, or you’re not great editing your thoughts.
As fascinating as the story might appear to you, these sidebars only distracts, confuses, and frustrates the listener.
Know Your Audience
Stories which have a potentially offensive theme, or its directed towards a certain minority, or you broadcast resources others don’t have. The story shouldn’t be told, or be edited.
There’s no point making them feel worse because they don’t have the financial resources you have, to shop at that expensive boutique store, which served as the main theme of your story.
No one cares how much you paid for that cashmere scarf, if they can’t afford it.
The more you repeat the same old story, the more exaggerated the details become. Once doing so, the original story begins to drift further away from the actual truth of what really happened.
Then eventually, what happens is you end up describing a bloated fabricated account which never happened at all.
It then becomes a rumor, the story becomes gossip, turning into a fable.
Rehearse By Knowing What To Say
You don’t need to read out a script every time you tell a story. What you want is to run it through in your mind first, to keep it refreshed and accurate as possible.
It becomes especially important to highlight the ending of the story.
Doing so allows you to follow a direct path through the arc of the story, from the beginning to its end, and its climactic resolve.
Be Considerate Of Those In Your Story
If you happen to be talking about someone else, then you need to make sure you’re not revealing deep personal secrets regarding that person.
Gossiping about someone, disclosing information just that person should be revealing, is inconsiderate, which would create awkward moments for that person, and a loss of a friendship.
Keep It Concise
The short 30-second elevator pitch protocol we’re told we should prepare for when we meet a stranger, is also good advice when it comes to story telling.
It can be extended to a minute or two, keeping the “long story short” rule.
Anything longer places too much attention on yourself, and not highlight the actual story.
Pay Attention To Their Reaction
Listeners can become preoccupied and possibly even disturbed by hearing stories relating to difficult experiences, especially those negative stories which are constantly repeated.
If you have a particularly sad tale to tell, make sure you’ve prepared the listener beforehand.
Never ramble on or give explicit gory details, which places stress on the listener.
Telling captivating stories should be a natural and enjoyable part of any social interaction.
Once you begin to tell the story of your life that packs interest, then your listeners will be able to experience mutually supportive interaction.