You know who they are, they’re magnetically shiny slippery and charismatic, and can turn on the charm at will. They come across as being completely mesmerizing under any circumstance, as they have a knack for instantly making you, or a room full of skeptics smile with glee.
When you usually meet someone for the first time and after the formal introductions, most will go into limp cold fish mode with short choppy reaction, and become aloof when it comes to small talk.
Those first few minutes can become anxiously prolonged, since what you’re wanting to project is your best first impression, wanting them to like you on contact.
There are steps you can take to imitate those likeable and usually successful people. You can then emulate what they do to break the ice, to make yourself become instantly adored by all.
1.) – Avoid The Egotistical Power Stance
Everyone in grooming school including our parents will tell us to stand erect, appear as poised and proud as possible.
Make sure you stand your ground, shoulders in a square military stance, walk forward with purpose, drop the tone in your voice a few octaves.
Then we are told to look your subject square in the eye, and shake their hand (or a fist pump) with a warm firm grip, when first meeting someone new.
This is an excellent “textbook” trait to display when it comes to all nonverbal self-confidence measures, since we’re taught it’s survival of the fittest.
For those who cross the line and become overly cocky, their ego will seep through, in the attempts to establish how important or tough they are.
But what that does is makes the meeting appear like it’s all about them, rather than the other person, and they don’t matter as much, which is a complete turnoff.
When Meeting Someone New
What the greatest leaders in history will do is step just slightly forward towards you, avoiding the, “I’m more important than you,” stance by treating you as an equal.
They will also greet you with a warn smile and may even bend slightly forward towards you.
What this quiet forward gesture does is it gathers respect in any culture, putting aside any sense of status or self-importance, as they come across as completely genuine.
So the next time you meet someone, anyone, during a job interview or a blind date, relax as much as possible, and graciously step and lean slightly forward towards them.
Make sure you tilt your head forward, smile, and show them, prove to them how honoured you are to meet them.
We’re always attracted to those who appear to like us, and once you genuinely display that, then the like becomes mutual.
2.) – Those Who Surgically Carves You Socially
Once you meet someone with charisma for the first time, and then have a conversation for say 15 minutes, you walk away a bit stunned, thinking: “Wow, that was just an awesome conversation.”
You then wonder what just happened, and realize you didn’t learn a single thing about that person you just met.
The reason is what these extremely polished likeable people are able to do, is make the entire conversation all about you.
They encourage you to talk about yourself, with you ever realizing that it’s happening.
What these master social charmers are able to do, is project their social graces on you, focusing their politeness and genuine interest by placing a spell that’s directed towards you.
What you instantly do is like that person for making you feel the way you do.
It’s Your Turn
You can also turn the tables, as it’s easy for you to turn on this charm when you meet someone new and want to impress them.
It’s just a matter of knowing the right questions to ask, by keeping them as open ended as possible, allowing them to be introspective in their descriptions, as you ask who, why, and how.
Once you learn a bit about this person, then begin asking how or why they did whatever they did.
Ask them what they particularly liked or learned, and what you should be doing if you’re ever in the same situation.
What this does is it pays forward recognition and respect by asking the right questions, by asking for the other person’s opinion.
All that we want is for other people to respect us, and we like them for that.
3.) – They Never Want Anything
You know when you’re having a great conversation with someone, is when you’re finding you both have a lot in common with one other.
Then suddenly, they become distant by changing their tone and say they want to “network” with you, which is an obvious sign they want something from you.
That’s the moment the interaction and mood completely changes, from friendly chit-chat to what do you want from me.
So avoid being that goal orientated, what’s in it for me, hard charging annoying person.
If you need to ask for something, then find a better way you can ask them to help you, and only ask when the opportunity is right.
Individuals who are extremely likeable will always focus on what they can do for you, to help you in any way they can, and not what they can do for themselves.
4.) – The Power Of Touch
Appropriately touching someone is extremely powerful, as touch is able to subconsciously influence the other persons behaviour.
Doing so also increases compliance, and makes the person who’s doing the touching appear a lot more friendlier and instantly attractive.
But be careful and selective in your touching, by just lightly tapping the other persons shoulder or upper arm.
In this day and age of social distancing however, be extremely careful where and how you proceed.
Make sure you make it as natural, nonthreatening, and casual as possible.
Check out how the genuine leaders of the world shake hands. They’ll do a right hand shake while their left hand will always touch the other persons opposite arm.
They then combine it with a genuine smile while leaning slightly forward.
To try this out yourself, walk up to someone you know and lightly touch them on their shoulder as you walk by them.
It’s almost guaranteed you’ll come across as more genuine, unless that receiving person absolutely despises being touched.
What touching does is it breaks down barriers, while decreasing the perceived distance between you and someone else.
This is one of the key components when it comes to liking someone and being liked back.