Once a relationship ends the sunshine goes. Things look bleak. So you want to mend a broken heart and move on to better things, progress. It can and does happen to everyone, those who dare to expose their soul to someone, to love, to develop a relationship.
That amazing heart pounding feeling of being, suddenly empties once it ends, spiraling into a dark hole, it halts to a stop. Our once loved one leaves us, we leave, regardless, we’re left with just the fragments, the bad memories, collecting the pieces of a shattered heart.
Humans are the only creatures on earth with the ability to consciously decide to bond deeply to another, to commit, and once these deep attachments break off, we suffer. We feel betrayed, hopeless, furious, anxious for the future, and go into denial.
But there is recovery, the sun does rise tomorrow, although there’s no guarantee for a miracle cure. There are clinical steps which one can take to heal, to recover from a broken heart.
Acknowledge Realize That It’s Over
Regardless of how things ended, acknowledge that for now it’s over. You’re not wanting to give up hope, hoping that person will return one day, but accept it for now, this moment, you’ll need to face life tomorrow without them.
Accepting loss is grieving, allow your feelings to be whatever they happen to be, sadness, but remain to think clearly. That person’s gone, but you still need to continue to live.
If the hope of getting them back still exists, accept your situation right now, get back on your feet. Don’t cling, become obsessive or an emotional wreck, as that won’t bring them back any sooner.
Manage Your Emotions
A broken heart mentally hurts, as an entire range of emotions from betrayal, grief, disappointment, anger, guilt, disbelief, jealousy, rage, despair, sadness, all attacks you at once.
Some go completely numb, become listless and lifeless. Whatever you’re feeling, allow yourself to feel it, and then flush it out. Ultimately, you’ll process these feelings and then move on.
Write these feelings down in a journal, find other means of expressing what you’re going through. Talk to your friends and family, find a self-help group. Just make sure that you acknowledge you’re hurt somehow, be patient and give yourself time.
If you feel nothing, make the time to create the space to grieve, and never feel scared or threatened about these feelings. Ultimately, they’re just feelings, electrochemical charges in the brain.
Live Your Life Daily
If you’re struggling, then use that as an addiction recovery meeting, this by dealing with life one day at a time. Don’t get startled or lost in the big picture, or feel despair in the long lonely days of you being alone.
Just deal with today, this to your best ability. All you can live is each day, in the here and now. It helps to focus on what’s around you and what your task is right now.
If you’re cooking or doing the laundry, then just concentrate on that. Become conscious of what you need to do next. Staying with these sensations will slow down and isolate your internal thinking process.
It will ground you to the right now. It will help you to survive all the bad memories since you’re living proof that every single minute, you’re showing that you can exist.
So just attend to whatever you’re doing, whatever it is that’s around you right now, right here. Reconnect with the miracle of you being alive, no matter how much you hurt at any given point.
Remember Your Life Before
It might appear like a miracle how you managed to live without that person before you met them, but you did. You lived your own life this without even knowing they existed.
You did whatever it was you did, you had big dreams and big hopes, plans for the future, things in your life which had nothing to do with that person. It’s important you find who you were, this without them.
Starting A New Life
Building a new life takes effort. Begin by letting go of activities or friends you’ve both shared. Although a painful process, begin rebuilding your life to a richer higher level than it was before.
But this new life won’t appear out of thin air. You need to spend the effort and time into creating it. You need to take risks, put yourself into brand new situations, make new friends.
It becomes important to move out and move on, move away from your old habits and your comfort zone. What losing someone does is it creates a brand new window of opportunity for you.
You could start something that you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t, never had time for, so take that extended holiday, visit with friends which your partner didn’t like.
It’s your time again, you’re single and you no longer need to make compromises any longer.
Have Hope For The Future
These are the chapters of your life, how they end are written for a reason. One of the most persisting human myths is that there’s just one single person in your life who’s right for you, that we need to be with, this for our entire lives.
This thought originated in Greek philosophy thousands of years ago. Humanity has advanced and we have more opportunities to meet different people, fall in love over and over again. Have numerous partners.
Think of all the people that you would have missed out on if the same relationship continued to the end of your life. Most will meet others at different times of their lives, with someone they could be happier with.
Each relationship is unique, although you could be happy with someone, you could be just as happy with someone else, it’s no longer taboo. You’ll have a different life and do different things. Who knows, you may already know that person already.