Why do you take the easy way out. You know it’s neglecting, but you don’t have the heart or resolve to do the right thing. You act as a constant doormat, just to be momentarily liked. Stop being a pawn. Dare to be courageous and stand up for yourself.
What the majority of us are conditioned to do however, is by habit, to please the needs of others to be liked, to be safe.
We also realize it can make us vulnerable, to those who are a overly controlling and demanding, and wanting to take advantage of us.
It’s generally thought those who attempt to constantly please others, placing their own needs on the back burner, may be preventing themselves from getting their own needs met.
What they’re doing is erecting a sign over their head saying, “use and abuse me,” I’ll do what you ask. All while the judgment of karma lurks in disappointment.
Protect Yourself Better
We at one time or another all have experienced instances, where someone can become extremely intimidating, and we fold.
By instinct, we’ll comply just to keep the peace by doing what they’ve asked, wanting to keep them satisfied. But realize doing so is usually just a temporary solution.
They’ll always come back for more and may get more demanding, while also often treating you more abusively as time progresses.
So stop being a pushover and stand up for yourself. Do the right thing to protect yourself or those who are vulnerable.
The Difference Between Pleasing And Showing Goodwill
It’s not about deciding to stand up for yourself at all times, and not doing anything for anyone ever again.
Know the difference when you’re genuinely wanting to help someone in need, versus you doing something because they want you to.
Or you yourself are wanting to manipulate the situation while also fearing the consequences, if you don’t bother doing so.
Knowing this difference will help you in making better bolder life choices for yourself.
Pay Closer Attention To Your Gut Feeling
Once you notice yourself starting to feel resentful, angry, sad or frustrated directly after an interaction with someone. Ask yourself if you pleasing that person contributed to it.
Did you once again just agree to do something for someone you didn’t want to. Did you just go ahead and tell someone a lie, just to make them feel better.
Often, for those who constantly please people, these habits are so ingrained they don’t even notice it any longer, along with the negative feelings they feel afterwards.
Cultivating The Awareness
If you’re like most, pleasing others first has been something you’ve done your entire life.
It becomes a habit on the way you conduct yourself, and where you think you fit into the world, and these people.
You most likely won’t be able to stop this anytime soon, and shouldn’t be expected to. Begin by taking note once you do, and what the circumstances are.
Who are the people that triggers this behaviour and the reasons why. Then decide how you might handle it differently the next time.
Know When It Began
Take a look back at your life, and try to identify when you began to comply and fold like an accordion to these people.
Where you got the idea you had to please the needs of everyone first, just to be accepted by them.
It usually begins in early childhood, by getting approval from parents for being really helpful to them and others.
As a result, this becomes a ritual to seek out this approval and attention, and pleasing people is the most easiest way of doing so.
We’re also told what to do, and to learn to get along with others and what they want, otherwise they’ll either reject you or won’t like you.
Just Be Selfish At Times
Most people think they’ll be branded as selfish, if they start just honouring their own needs, and begin ignoring or saying “no” to others.
In the majority of these cases, these types of individuals to a fault are at the extreme end of the scale.
Even if they do change their behaviour, they’d still remain more kind and generous than most.
Know the truly selfish people of the world, won’t even bother to worry they’re coming across as selfish, they just don’t care.
Paying More Attention To Your Stance
Most who have this tendency of pleasing others too often, will usually expose themselves to what’s known as the “victims posture.”
This refers to someone hunching over slightly and appearing submissive, while nodding their head in agreement.
So it’s recommended you monitor your body posture at all times, by taking deep breaths and holding your head and shoulders up high and proud.
Whenever you’re tempted or feel you’re about to give in to the needs of others, both literally and figuratively, stand or sit up tall and breath deeply.
Doing so will help you keep the promise you made to yourself, when in the face of pressure from others you won’t give in to their needs.
What happens once you do cower, is your wincing will give them the signal to become more dominant over you.
Always Remind Yourself On A Daily Basis
If you’re constantly surrounded by those who just don’t respect you, and they’re wanting to bend and alter you at their will, have the guts to stand up to them.
Doing so will get them to appreciate your true worth, which will also elevate your self-esteem.
Doing so will reinforce your own beliefs, along with certain thought processes which you wouldn’t see on your own.
Stand up and be brave, and become more assertive in life.