The attempts to manipulate others isn’t right nor does it feel good, like you’re taking advantage, this regardless how morally correct you are. But there are ways on how you can win over others effectively, politely, and fairly, methods which makes everyone feel satisfied.
Winning, convincing others to your point of view isn’t an easy thing to do, this especially if they don’t like you, or they didn’t get their fair share or a good deal. The art, the ability to be able to apply persuasion tactics to friends and foes alike, becomes a necessary task.
On a daily basis, regardless of who you are, what your station in life is, we’re always negotiating, faced with the task of convincing or persuading others, usually to what your point of view is. Every day, what we face is resistance.
Whether it be paving your way on a business deal, closing in on a sale, speaking with vendors or a customer service rep, asking your child to behave, negotiating to alter the outcome to your favor, while everyone gets a fair deal, is an extremely delicate operation.
Keep in mind that winning anyone over isn’t about manipulating, lying, or cheating them, twisting their arm to do things your way. Instead, what it involves is giving them valid reasons to respect you, giving them reasons so they’ll want to engage with you, listen to what you have to say.
To get immediate and long term results, the key lies in helping people to make decisions which are in their best interests. To do this as consistently and efficiently as possible, what it takes is influence.
Pull To Become More Influential
What influence involves is the ability to activate someone, or a group of people such as your audience to a desired action, your desired action, this within the context of a desired goal.
What you need is pull. Most have heard someone saying, “Wow, is Sally ever influential, but she’s much too pushy!” What you don’t want to do is push people, but instead you want to pull, gravitate them towards you with kindness, tact, and excellent communication or writing skills.
Think who you consider to be great influencers. Think of those in business, on television, politics, or on the Internet who has the ability to pull you. What they do is attract, gravitate people towards them and their ideas.
Notice that they’re able to do so because they focus on what the best benefits are for those who they’re attempting to influence. There’s absolutely no manipulation or coercion involved.
You can also do the same, get the results that you want while making them feel good about themselves by you knowing the process, and they don’t necessarily need to like you.
Acknowledging Their Ego
People always want to feel good about themselves. If you make someone feel better about their station in life, then you’re a step closer to pulling them to your side.
Never embarrass, shame, insult, or cajole them. Be careful regarding that sarcastic tongue-in-cheek humor. If you need to say, “I’m just kidding” then it wasn’t funny and they’re not laughing.
Keeping Your Emotions In Check
It’s usually up to you, it’s always your choice what you say or act when needing to deal with a potential adversary. It’s your choice to respond either rationally or to react emotionally.
Never become influenced or controlled by outside sources or circumstances. Respond as calmly as possible rather than letting your emotions to get in the way, feelings to get the better of you.
What doing so does is it places others on the defensive, rather than drawing them towards your ideals.
Don’t Be Confrontational
What people instinctively want to do is react and respond to others positively. So it’s best to approach any potential conflict from a point of resolution, benevolence, and being helpful, then they’ll usually follow suit.
Reach out to them with a genuine smile, pleasant countenance, and a friendly “Hello, how are you?” You can frame your influence based on how you approach your initial conversation.
Invest a bit of time towards asking people questions about themselves first, their interests, family, their business. Once they begin feeling good about themselves, they will then be more open to know you better.
Understanding Their Beliefs
Everyone operates on their own unconscious set of beliefs, ideals, and the experiences that they’ve had, which are usually completely different from yours, so realize this. Knowing this, you can avoid any misunderstandings or confusion which can stand in the way when you’re attempting to influence.
Once you become more aware of how certain belief systems can drive their actions and choices, your ability to be able to relate more positively while persuading them will improve.
Communicating With Empathy And Gratitude
Every step of this process plays a key vital role, but what may be the most important is showing tact, showing empathy by knowing the exact thing to say at the right time.
What doing so makes all the difference, this when it comes to moving, altering, convincing people to see your point of view, to voluntarily pull them to you, your side of the issue. What doing so results in is they taking the appropriate desired action which benefits all concerned.
So revise, alter your speech if you need to before you speak. Make sure that you ask yourself the following question: How will they feel regarding what I am about to say, as well as how I’m about to say it?
Always show empathy and gratitude. Master these important people skills which are guaranteed to get you ahead of the game. Learning to influence others without coercion or manipulation will make your life a lot more enjoyable, profitable, and less stressful.