Living In Fear Is Why You Can’t Have Permanent Relationships

life not going as plannedThe relationships that we build are the biggest influences when it comes to our personal growth. Everything develops from building quality and substance. When we were young, it was the bonding process with our parents that was our first relationship.

This is where our personal growth began, and how we began to understand the value of relationships. What this initial growth did was it helped us to make our various life choices that we did, this based on how we handled the growth.

What needs to be gauged is how one’s pride and ego influences a relationship. What may be equally as important when building relationships is how we handle our internal fears and selflessness.

The act of fear has been defined in a variety of ways and cases, and has a confounding effect when it comes to the display of our relationships.

The Fear Of
The greatest fear when it comes to relationships is the fear of commitment. This fear can strike anyone and is a residue from our past. If we happened to of had several damaging relationships in the past, then we put our guard up and shelter ourselves with fear.

The question is why do we need to carry around this type of fear to protect ourselves. It’s usually because we don’t know any better or we’re afraid of becoming vulnerable, which prevents us from opening up to others.

The fear of our partner can be just as tough as the fear of ourselves. We can wonder how we allowed ourselves to get caught, get stuck in that relationship for such a long time.

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What was the turning point that created this fear, and allowed it to fester to this point. When wondering, don’t disqualify any answer since that’s what we’ll first instinctively do.

To Trust Yourself
Our initial intuition is always the last thing that we trust. So just learn to listen and trust what that inner voice says, this especially the initial instincts that comes to mind. One way fear can be resolved is by building up your own confidence.

Where fear lies is in the way that you grew up, the environment, so what needs to be looked at is the level of your self-esteem. At times, we weren’t always treated fairly as children, so we suffer the consequences as a result.

To Build Yourself Up
To overcome this, as painful as it may be, you need to go back and introspect into your childhood, and then pinpoint the age and event or events when you think the problems began to occur.

Witness it as if you were seeing it for the first time, as a movie of your life is playing right in front of you. Write down everything that you see, and then begin listening to how you relate to these experiences.

Is there a common pattern that’s developing. You should see something that’s reoccurring over and over again, this in how you treat and experience your current relationships.

You’ll realize that those same patterns are still there, as if it was the first time that it happened, even if it was decades ago, they remain extremely vivid. Then you’re able to identify these same patterns repeating themselves.

Identifying Your Repair Point
Then you’ll know exactly where to begin, this because you’ve identified the point in your life that needs to be fixed. Often, you’ll say, “I can’t find that point.” If this is the case, then go over what you wrote and identify a pattern.

Reviewing what you wrote will help you identify where the same roadblocks occur. Keep in mind that it’s more difficult to see the “negative” attitudes of your life, and that’s what usually needs to change.

If you’ve matured to the point that you can master and control your emotions and attitude, then you’re almost guaranteed that the majority of your issues will be solved.

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To Heal Is To Know Yourself
To start the healing process, there’s no cure or remedy that’s possible until the root of the problem is known. These aren’t the symptoms or issues that you’re experiencing today, but the ones dormant in your past, or very little will change.

New problems will surface because the initial issues haven’t been resolved. It doesn’t matter why the event originally happened, but what’s important is that you acknowledge them and then accept the circumstances.

So forgive yourself and the incidents that happened, bless them, and then just let them go. Then you’re closer to changing your life for the positive from that point on.

Often, this process is extremely difficult and painful to go through. Your previous life experiences, along with your energy level might waver, but as long as you remain conscious of what’s happening, you’ll be fine.

It’s not a long extended process but what’s important is that you’ll be fully immersed and involved. It’s your life, and they’re your own personal experiences and responsibilities. Without going through this process, you’ll just run around in circles.

To Identify And Resolve
As you witness and then handle the initial stages of the problem, all of the symptoms and hurdles will then begin to dissipate without you even realizing it. This because they’re no longer important to you, that your mind, heart, and your soul have accepted the change.

The worst emotion that you can endure is living in fear, living in the shadows, this especially if in the presence of your partner. This until the deep rooted issues are finally resolved.

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