I Drank Coffee Then Sipped Wine Waiting For The Year To End

So there you are, pondering in your sober stupor sipping that java wondering what the purpose and existence of your life, or any life for that matter is. Is there really a Higher Power such as a God, and if so why are there so many.

What on Earth are we doing here at this exact period of time on this planet, at this location we live in, during this particular era of history.

Among all these life questions you wonder as you reflect, the most poignant always seems to be,”Who Am I And What Am I Doing Here?”

Eventually at some point in ones life, most would ask themselves who they are, what their purpose is.

We also demand an answer that’s meaningful and fulfilling. We humans are a hyper-social and sensitive bunch that way.

We care about ourselves as well as for one other, strangers or not, and usually care a little too much of what others think or feel of us, revealing our vulnerability.

So it just seems a natural course and at times a ritual during those wee hours of the morning, or during the faint dark of the late night sipping vino, who am I at this place and time, which reveals what we think of ourselves.

There are those who go to church for this, there are others who go to the edge of the world, to find their purpose and usefulness as their life has to mean something.

Some do so as a sacrifice in the hopes of a better “next” life, if there even is one. But then who am I to judge.

The Elusive Question Of “Who Am I?”

So you decide to scour the fields of academia and trace mind maps to find out about your true existence. Not how you were born, but why.

You find that the best suitor for providing possible answers is somewhere in the medical field and psychology.

It’s been proven over time that the mind is constantly prone to pitfalls and mistakes, so it may not be the best candidate to find out about your true self.

There are even lingering questions regarding what the mind’s actually capacity is, to resolving self-discovery.

We Make Things Up As We Go Along

Our brains have this innate sense to fake it till you make it, to dupe itself. Our thinking process isn’t really calibrated to perceive reality as it actually happens.

Instead it’s programmed to make better sense of what our true reality is, how we fit it.

So what this means is our mind will and has the ability to make things up, fill in the gaps, things which may not even exist or be true. After all, many of us can’t “handle the truth.”

There is documented proof, that once our minds are physically unable to see or comprehend something, we make things up, which is known as “blind spots.”


These blind spots are very real and they do exist.

They are the actual mechanical visual field distortions where our nerves associated with our brains are manually connected to our retina, which feeds the mind what it thinks it sees.

What our mind actually does, is it fills in the missing gaps the best it can during this transmission period from the visual field to the brain, to provide an answer.

Our Deceptive Brain

On a daily basis, when this actually happens for real, you never know about it or even realize it happening.

Our brains are actually programmed to see a variety of patterns, even if in some cases they don’t even actually exist.

As a result, what it does is leads us to infer meaning once we witness random events for the first time, or we see something totally unique.

For instance, there are many who saw images and felt the presence of “evil” in the cumulus clouds in the sky, during the World Trade Center attacks.

Similarly, a lot of us are convinced that athletes go through what’s known as “hot hands” and “cold hands,” where in reality, these athletes may just be inconsistent or not very good.

Can Our Mind Be Trusted

There is actual documented scientific evidence that the brain is capable of deceiving the mind. We just want to see things we want to see and believe.

So what this implies is that our minds may not be capable or qualified to perceive who we really are.

Our brain may convince us why we decided to marry that particular person, for example, or why we decided to purchase a particular brand over another.

What’s revealed in our decision making process, suggests we’re constantly blind to the true determinants of what our real judgments and decisions are.

This may be the reason why our minds are not suitable for finding out who we really are.

Even if we do invent stories about who we think we are, or why we do certain things which at times may be true, we’re still unable to discern whether these self told fables even occurred, or if they’re fabricated.

So How Do I Know Who I Am

There’s increasing pessimism in some circles, that our minds aren’t able to reveal who we truly are. This doesn’t mean however that our minds are completely unreliable once we ponder these questions.

What we do is make some broad generalizations regarding ourselves by gaining familiarity through our habits, our likes and dislikes.

We can also eventually realize to understand, through using our brain, that it has its limits and breaking points.

Once we do look at the overall picture of who we are and associate it with our mind, generally, the ultimate clue may be we’re just not that smart.

Our capabilities just aren’t strong enough because there’s always more questions than there are answers.

Questions that we can never answer ourselves, and the proof is the idiocy of we making the same mistakes over and over again. It’s become the biggest riddle of our existence.

So How Can We Know Oneself

So the solution as an alternate, is to go beyond what the mind suggests, if that’s even possible.

All of the historic and the most traditional of spiritual beliefs involve practicing some type of deep silence within oneself.

This includes meditation, which encourages and enhances exploring silence, which is a quiet empty mind with “no thought.”

The idea of this is to turn the minds switch completely off, and then hopefully you’ll be able to get in touch with what your true reality is.

You may then find your true self, without needing to rely on the opinionated and noisy filter which is the brain, or rely on the substance of caffeine or wine.

You need to explore if there’s any merit to this type of practice.

Is it possible to go beyond your own mind and experience “nothing,” by using it solely as a receptacle.

What would you really find out about yourself or who you truly are, if you can actually experience this state of no mindedness.

You can do so by reaching a blank silent state of “hum.”

1 thought on “I Drank Coffee Then Sipped Wine Waiting For The Year To End

  1. Philosophical post. An interesting concept that the mind and the brain are not interchangeable words. Hope you have a great day. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I’d love for you to join in the discussion about my short story about bullying. “Jenny’s Bumpy Start.” You can search for it on my site, Always Write. 🙂 Thanks again. 🙂

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