If everything goes as planned, provided there is a plan, you become independent by escaping the shackles of immaturity, and attack head on into adulthood. Hopefully you’re prepared, ready to tackle whatever life throws your way.
As you hit your stride as the years melt along, you slowly begin looking into the rear view mirror of life, as you become mature but not old.
You know better, you’re wiser, while your body, mind, and bones still don’t deter you. You’re still capable and mobile enough to do whatever it is you want.
So Who Am I
As we navigate through life, what we’re conditioned to do is find ourselves, our career path, a mate, while reaching adulthood, usually sometime in our twenties for most.
Then you begin ruminating through your 30’s, based on the grievances which you’ve gathered throughout your life so far.
You build a foundation, for the purpose of sustaining life, as you strive to become an outstanding citizen.
During this time, you enjoy the freedom of being healthy with a zany yet sane mind intact, doing all the things you’ve always dreamed of doing as a child.
The Passing Of The Decades
Eventually you awaken and suddenly begin to feel older. You’re forced to reflect on the decade you currently live in, while you’re still living it.
You react more than you think. Middle age forces you to bring your life into perspective. You hit your stride when in your 40’s, which is a busy time that can be difficult to assess.
This for many is a period of transition, a time where spunk graduates into older age. This is when others begin to call you sir or madam, all without a sarcastic grin, they mean it with respect.
The conventional wisdom being that in human terms, the 40’s are still relatively young.
All of the body parts still work, but you realize things are beginning to decline, most importantly your fertility and health.
You Grow Older Yet Feel Young
The biggest accomplishment in life is realizing you’ve managed to learn and to mature. As the decades pass, one after another, the revelation is we realize how naive we were.
But for now, what we do is cement our gains, as life slows to a standstill, as we mentally jot down what we’ve learned, things we didn’t know a decade or even a year ago.
What Growing Older Teaches Us
You stop caring what others think of you. What you do instead is pick up tips, feedback from others on how you can improve your life, become more efficient.
Once you leave a conversation, you no longer wonder what the heck. What you enjoy are the motives of others, finally being revealed.
People begin to shape into how you envisioned them, on what they’ve accomplished. This is who I am, this is me, totally authentic, so don’t try projecting a different image of me.
We realize no one wants to grow up or grow old. We suspected this when we were younger, but can now confirm it. Everyone is pretending to be mature, some just do it better than others.
All This For What
When we were younger, we’re told there’s “someone” out there for everyone, a special soul mate, maybe a few soul mates.
What you realize is there isn’t one person, who perfectly fits into what you want as an ideal partner, but some can be developed over time.
We learn those who are too emotional are a waste of time, boring, and tiresome.
From weddings, births, to funerals and everything else in between, they drain out their feelings, sulk, or create a dramatic scene. You avoid these people like the pandemic.
Whenever you meet someone new when you’re older, you’re extremely cautious instead of being dazzled by them.
You have better spidey senses spotting someone who’s fake, narcissistic or boring, before they can ruin your life.
The giddiness of youth suddenly becomes harden into adult pathologies.
The Decades Just Roll
What you found daring when in your twenties, can become worrisome in your thirties, pose a danger once you hit forty. Once the fifties roll along, you realize you’ve hit a real milestone.
You then think it’s all downhill from here. What you begin to see are the outlines, glimpses of what you’ll look and feel like once you hit sixty and beyond.
What you realize is you’re not that great, unique, or dependable. We self-assess that we’re 85% percent cohort, while being 15% percent unique.
We realize we’re average to being boring ourselves, which can be disappointing, but also a relief. At least we didn’t turn out to be a freak or a nutcase.
Just Wanting To Belong Somewhere
What you find are tribes you belong to. You realize who you are. You know this is me, this is who I am. This is the group I feel most comfortable in.
As you grow older, you don’t want or care to be with the hip cool people any longer. All you want is to be with your own people.
If you don’t want to do something, you just say “No thanks.” You stop suggesting lunch with those you don’t want or care to be with.
They won’t change, they’ll be just as disappointed as you are having to spend time with one another.
What Am I Doing Here?
You just don’t care, you don’t want to know or decide whether eternity even exists. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t.
What you’re really worried about is if the government is reading all your emails, tracking your bank account.
If those men in the dark suits in the white van are following you, if you’re health is going to hold up, if you’re breaking any unspoken rules. Am I going to heaven?
Final Observations From Someone Growing Older
You stop buying tight jeans but instead the stretchy type. You don’t care to lose weight anytime soon. When you need to be somewhere important, you make sure you wear black to hide the creases.
You begin to appreciate better food. You enjoy eating like your days are counted, that you’re on the decline, knowing you’re getting a day closer to your tombstone.
What you know for certain, are the best days of your life is already behind you. Then you wonder… is that all there is to life?