Me, myself and I, is the most important party of 3 I’ll ever know and attend. No one else matters, no one comes close. You’re wanting to join Narcissist’s Anonymous, but you’re afraid there’s others in the room who may think they’re more important than you.
To identify the narcissists among us, where to begin is by defining the personality traits of what one is.
Are you able to sustain yourself in a steady and positive emotional state, and not suddenly get angry, experience bouts of depression, get anxiety attacks, and other forms of emotional distress.
Someone who’s functioning socially on par, and doesn’t have sociopath tenancies, can hear their own thoughts and concerns, and are also able to empathize by understanding the feelings of others.
It’s Not About You
What you avoid is what’s known as two-sided listening. Once a difference or an argument arises, those who are socially inept are unable to find a mutual win-win solution, since they won’t listen to the concerns of the other party.
For instance, it’s nearing your bedtime and you’re getting tired, and begin thinking of going to sleep.
You then suddenly get a phone call from a friend of yours regarding an issue of theirs, and needs your advice.
You suggest you both talk for a few minutes as you’re tired, and then resume the talk the next day. This is a win-win solution.
But if you have narcissistic tenancies, you’d immediately respond with a quick “No, I don’t have time to talk.”
You think, how dare they bother you now, “I’m tired and getting ready for bed,” you say to that persons request.
Similarly, if that person happens to be a narcissist, the fact they don’t care about your time, talking right now is the only option for them.
So Know If You’re A Narcissist
Everyone to a certain degree is narcissistic, occasionally displaying strands of cockiness and being smug, but know how to keep it in check.
There are some core definitions of narcissism, as there are varying degrees.
The following will reveal how narcissistic you actually are.
You Never Listen
To you, what’s important is what “I” want, and nothing else matters, so get over it and listen to me.
When you decide to mutually make decisions with someone regarding their needs or feelings, to you, it’s inconvenient and irrelevant.
This because when you discuss these issues, you know what you think, your opinion, is always right.
Anything and everyone else is wrong, or not important. If someone has any input, you feel they’re just undermining you.
Instead of listening so you can respond, narcissists will listen so they can either: dismiss, ignore, negate, denigrate, minimize, or completely render irrelevance to what others are saying.
Me, Me, It’s Always About Me
I know better than you, I know more, I’m more popular and interesting, I’m prettier or more handsome than you.
When I talk, or when we talk, it’s always about me. During any conversation, I get most or all of the attention because I know more.
If I want something, then I need to have it. It doesn’t matter how anyone else feels about it, because, I’m more important.
I’m bigger, better, older and richer than you, and you’re just here, just to do things for me.
Sociopathic Behaviour
Narcissistic people who are borderline sociopaths can also appear generous, and at times nice.
It becomes difficult to trust these individuals who are sympathetic to your interests, as there’s always some hidden agenda to their intention.
The odds are good they’re acting in a selfish manner that’s somehow responsive just to their concerns.
I Don’t Have The Same Rules
I can have affairs with anyone I like, cut into a long line up where others are waiting, and ignore all the rules which may get in the way of doing whatever I want.
Those rules are made for others to follow, and not me. All you need is to just do what I say.
Narcissists usually suffer from low self-esteem. Some may suffer from a physical or mental deficit, yet they view themselves as being above others, so the rules don’t apply to them.
Don’t Criticize Me Because I Don’t Like It
I will constantly criticize others, and often will, but if you ever criticize me, then how dare you do so since it hurts my feelings, so I’ll just hurt you back.
Narcissists have an over inflated idea of their importance, and can easily be deflated and deterred by negative feedback.
Since they think everything revolves around them, they think when others talk about personal feelings, they see it as they criticizing them.
When Things Go Bad It’s Your Fault
I don’t apologize or never admit I’m wrong or at blame. This because I’m perfect and beyond reproach. I’m never wrong. I will never say “I’m sorry,” or I need to contribute to solve a problem.
The unwillingness to take any type of responsibility for mistakes, also goes hand in hand with quickly blaming others.
If I’ve ever done anything that’s not right, then there must be a good reason for it, and it’s not my fault.
It’s Your Fault If I Get Mad
If I get angry, it’s most likely because you didn’t listen to what I said. You criticized me again, or are trying to somehow tell me what to do.
Know your viewpoint is what’s wrong. What I expect is an apology right now, and you’ll never get one from me.
Blaming others is your middle name, it’s never your fault ever. If things don’t go well, it’s not your fault since you’re perfect, it’s not your responsibility to fix the problem.
Are You A Narcissist
Realize being narcissistic is usually developed by reactions which become habits, and any habit can be changed or altered.
And you should be able to change any of your habits because your perfect, remember. You can do anything once you put your mind to it.
Knowing your narcissistic tendencies can usually empower you to notice and fix the slippages.
What’s important is if there’s someone you interact with who regularly shows narcissistic tendencies, then let them know. It’s for their own good.