Once we realize that we need to make changes in our lives, what we instinctively do is look externally for help, as the resources which are available know better than us, right? What we have is that perfect vision in our minds on what or how our life should be like.
Once this is formulated, then we go forward and act on our ideal life, this to give and get us whatever it is would be perfect for us. The only problem with this is that what we’re giving up, what we’re giving away is our own personal empowerment during the process.
Whenever we want anything to manifest in our lives, for certain things, certain conditions or people to act or react, things to set into place for an event to occur, for us to be happier, what we do is just wait for it to happen.
We all wait for others to do things for us, “I’ll be happier once my wife cooks more often” or “I’ll be happy once my husband becomes more romantic” “I’ll be a lot more happier once my boss thinks I deserve a raise, this once they recognize the contributions that I make.”
This occurs once we wish that someone would react in a certain way, that we’re wanting others to read our minds, to match or meet our desires to create a perfect world for us, the one that we’ve created for ourselves.
Waiting Just Waiting
There are then those situations when we base our happiness contingent on a set of variables, certain things or events to occur. “I’ll be happier once I begin making more money, but I can’t make more money until I finish university” or “I’ll be happy once we own our own home” “I’ll be happy once I get a new job.” So what do you do in the meantime, while you’re waiting for these events to happen.
Waiting For Hope
Although it’s perfectly acceptable to wish, to hope for things to happen to you, for things to be different somehow, while striving to improve and making things better, you’re also losing control.
What’s unacceptable and unnecessary is wasting your time and your life on negative emotions. There’s a saying “You are what you think” this because it’s true, that what you think about the most festers, it stays in your mind and then expands.
So if you’re constantly focused on the negatives and just think of all the things that you lack, what you deserve, then think that you’re cursed once you don’t get them, then what you’ll attract are more of these negatives into your life.
Focus On The Positive
But once you force yourself to focus on the positive, good things to happen in your life and then take action, follow up on them, think everything is good, then that’s what will happen to you.
So it’s up to you what you want in your life, it begins with you. Which result would you rather have, what would you rather think. It’s up to you to force a mind shift for the better.
What we have is almost total control over our thinking. Almost, because there are invariably unwelcome thoughts that always seeps in, to intrude into our consciousness on a daily basis.
What we have is the control once those negative thoughts enter, and that’s to focus our mind elsewhere, towards the better. All that we need is to have a plan in place.
Whenever you don’t want A, B, or C to occupy your mind, then it’s up to you to force yourself to think of positive things to replace them. Just focus on anything that’s good, this whether it’s the past, present, or the future.
It’s Up To You To Change
So you’re wondering why is it “you” that needs to change when it’s the other person that has the problem. What you need to do is place ownership of any problem where it belongs, place the blame on who’s more “upset” about the issue.
If you’re mad because your husband doesn’t take out the trash on time, then who’s more upset about the situation, it’s you, so it becomes your problem. Your husband most likely doesn’t even notice that the garbage is such a problem.
If you think that your boss is a controlling arrogant narcissist, most likely, they’re not lying awake at night thinking of different ways to be more sensitive, to be nicer towards you. They don’t care, it’s your problem not theirs.
They don’t even realize that you have a problem with them. So when fixing these issues, first decide whose problem it is. The problem resides on the person who’s upset, so it’s on that person to find a solution.
It’s Your Life
The majority of human suffering is our refusal to alter what exists in our life, and not wanting to make personal changes. Instead, we become power hungry attempting to change others, this to meet our needs.
What would happen if you just accepted everyone for who they are, where they’re at, without exception. What if you somehow recognized that things are perfect just the way they are, would you be just as happy or content with the life situations which already exists.
What having self empowerment involves is that you first need to attribute the problem to the correct individual, usually you, and then attempt to solve the issue by adjusting your behavior or reaction.
What this allows is the unhappy person, you, to be in command of your own emotions. So start from the inside out, empower yourself by adjusting your own thoughts and behavior first, this to effectively manage whatever life throws your way.