Country music has become an industry of songs about getting dumped, duped, heartbreak, woe is me. This usually occurs during the initial stages of the dating process, but not always. Dating is the gateway to love, the stepping stone to finding romance, a prelude to marriage.
We are the only species on the planet, that’s required to go through this ritual when seeking out a mate to capture a relationship.
The biggest issue being we never accurately know who or what that recent new date is thinking.
Is there any chemistry, a connection, is the person even interested in me, or just hungry. The biggest fear is at the end of the night, we get the brush off, the sayonara, the “I don’t like you.”
There’s no spark, we’re not a good fit, I’m busy for the rest of my life, how about we just be friends.
Rather than using these simple statements of daggers to the heart, why can’t there just be an eject button on the chair.
Know The Signs
So the key is knowing what the subtle signs of the most common brush offs are. If you’re on the receiving end of the rejection, accept it, move on, there’s no crying in dating.
After all, what you’re searching for is a genuine grown up romance.
You want to avoid a gold digger or a mamma’s boy, a player or a sponge. You want someone who can actually carry a conversation.
If you’re on a date and receive the brushoff, what you want is to excuse yourself to the bathroom and then run out the backdoor.
Good riddance, since that’s the type of person you don’t want to be with anyways.
4 Telltale Signs Of Getting Dumped
1.) – Constantly Postponing: Too Sick Or Too Busy
Someone suddenly loses interest in you and stops returning your calls, emails, or texts. When meeting someone new, there should be enough courtesy to not break any plans during the first couple weeks.
This is the period of uncertainty, so if you’re interested but unsure, don’t give them the wrong message. If someone suddenly postpones or breaks plans more than once, that’s a definite brush off.
Their behaviour is showing too much conflict, they’re confused, this can be for a variety of reasons.
They met someone new, their job is more important than you, they’re scared or too scarred to start something new.
There’s nothing that crushes the self-esteem like not being a priority, so identify this brush off quickly and move on.
2.) – You Phone Them: They Email Or Text Back
If you occasionally get texts in response when you leave phone messages, don’t bother over thinking it. But if the texts are every single time you call them, then that’s a kick in the gonads.
Realize your phone messages are getting completely brushed off as being an annoyance to them.
There are some however who just don’t like talking on the phone, but they should have the courtesy to talk to you several times a week.
If this minimum isn’t met, then forget about them, it may be time to move on.
3.) – You Never Meet Any Of Their Friends
The biggest mistake most make is introducing their new prized catch, to their friends too soon.
This sounds harmless, but friends will usually scrutinize and break down every little detail about you. This makes you feel uncomfortable.
But what happens when you’re wanting to eventually meet their friends, or roommates, but you never get the opportunity to do so.
Say you’ve been dating a few months but are yet to meet anyone in their personal life, friends or family.
This should be seen as a red flag warning sign, so leave immediately, assume the brush off.
4.) – You Meet At Odd Times Of The Day Or Week
Initially, it makes sense to schedule a date over lunch or for an early evening coffee.
But if your date is genuinely interested in you, the “premium” time slots on Friday or Saturday night should be available.
If you’re constantly meeting at odd times during midweek for instance, it’s then safe to assume your date doesn’t consider you to be good enough for prime time.
So if you’re entering into the one or two month dating anniversary mark, then you should be meeting during these prime evening time slots at the end of the week.
If not, then you’re not that important to them, so pick up your sagging self-esteem and leave.
Reacting To The Brush Off
What you shouldn’t do is allow insecurity and fear to fester in your mind, when you suspect you are being dumped.
Once you have these unsettling thoughts and feelings, find an outlet, a way to rid of them so you won’t get in a rut, which can lead towards becoming obsessive or depressed.
If you’re getting internal signals from your brain you’re most likely getting dumped, deal with the situation as soon as possible.
Identify the root of these issues and confront the situation. If there’s no resolve, then leave.
Talking To Them On The Phone
“Hi, it’s Jason. I get this feeling you’re brushing me off, and it’s okay if you’re not interested in me.”
“Either way, let me know, I’d appreciate it if you tell me what’s going on with you. I can handle it.”
If you’re wanting to know exactly where you stand, how they feel about you, then simply ask.
It’s better to know sooner, so you can cut your losses and move on without investing further in the relationship.
Know When It’s Over
If you think you’re detecting someone who’s playing games, or smell a rat or a player, as most can from a mile away, then detach yourself.
Send an email or a voice message saying you need some time, to decide whether you have enough interest to continue the relationship.
If you do decide to take some time off, never respond in the future of their efforts to reach you again.
Get advice from others you trust if you need too, whether the relationship should move forward or end. If it’s over, then move on.