Why Being Twenty Can Be Your Most Difficult Years Of Life
Living through these tumultuous years, those supposed glory years between when your twenty to thirty years old, the coming of age, which signifies your independence and adulthood, can also prove to be the most hazardous for your life, and health. For those who are still in this age group, or those who are thinking, oh to be twenty again, hang on.
For the rest of us, who has experienced and survived this unpredictable period of time, that decade which is safely and securely in our rear view mirrors, to most, it can be considered a relief.
There’s no doubt that living these years can indeed place you in a state of flux, and be an extremely difficult time, this since the security of our school years are firmly behind us. This decade, we have to face and decide who we are, learn how to love and who to love, decide what and where our rightful place in this world is. The biggest mystery remaining… “Who am I, Where do I belong?
The majority of us will continuously hit the wall, reset the “start” button during these times, searching for any sense of where we should be, or what feels right, as everything becomes a muddle of hope and despair, leading towards trial and error.
Living Through The Twenties
To top off the pressures of being twenty years old, the decisions that we make during this time, hinging on what we decide to do, or who we are, also drives the bus for the rest of our lives.
Our fate, and what we make or do with it, comes constantly into question. Is there something that needs to be found, or lost, how can we miss something, if we’re not even looking out for it.
We’re constantly in the hopes that we meet our destiny, to recognize and grasp what’s in front of us, and to determine if we have the courage or the wisdom to seize it.
But nothing is clear as as things can become perplexing, as we ultimately begin to feel lost and wander. We realize that the twenties are our time, and the most important of our lives to forge our signature. There needs to be so much of our life that needs to be established before we reach our 30th birthday.
Getting It All Together
It also appears that everyone else has their “thing” together, our peers, their lives appear organized, those old high school friends, so why are we so behind. We constantly hear that these are the best years of our lives, offering the beauty and potential of youth living in complete freedom.
But at times, we’re ashamed to allow anyone to see our suffering, our pain and worry of our adult life. We hide the self-doubt, maintaining a social surface which proclaims how mature we are, how much fun that we’re having. This can be blamed on society’s false expectations of youth, leaving legions of lost souls feeling stranded in a private silent struggle.
So How Were Your 20’s
So in retrospect, we all soon realize that there’s absolutely nothing that anyone else can do but live through these years of insecurity. We find out how to make our contribution to life, this by actually learning how to live, to love, and hurt. What we actually accomplish by this pain, at times, remains to be unfulfilled.
As we begin to place everything into perspective, while we’re fumbling through all of the mishaps, and the dilemmas, we then slowly begin grasping a sense of ourselves. Perhaps the most important realizing that these struggles not only belong to you alone.
The Roads Not Traveled
Once we decide to leave our youth behind, we’re offered the benefit of hindsight, of each and every one of the crossroads that we may have passed. At last count, there’s been 100s of these roads which hasn’t been taken.
We begin to feel relief about the choices that we didn’t make, this because some of the most carefully laid out plans, and decisions, have invariably led towards complete dead ends.
To some, just our gut impulse and intuition has led towards unforeseen gains. We then realize that the idea of being wrong, or right, can be falsely polarizing.
Regardless of what decision we decided to make, we know in solitude, that we’re forever pining for some life choices that we declined, even after celebrating the wins, and the advantages of letting them go and moving on. This is the path for the majority, but it takes a lifetime to realize this basic commonality.
Looking At The Rear View Mirror
As we then begin to age, hit our 30’s and beyond, once we grow older, we realize, from experience, how to get through most of the difficulties. We learn to cope with all of the mishaps, and the losses along with the benefits and the lessons learned from prior mistakes.
We dwell on our individual regrets, forging onwards determined to make the best use of whatever we learned. This process of accrual continues, provided we don’t get lost in the detours of despair, or other ways of avoiding growth which comes with pushing forward through the challenges which comes our way.
And Then You Get Older
The truth is, as the theory goes, life improves as you age, at least at the cognitive levels, but not physically. What appeared completely insurmountable or bewildering when we were twenty, is less threatening once you’re forty, and a breeze once you’re fifty.
This only in respect of mind and spirit only, and not the physical body. Getting older then becomes a measurement based on how flexible our joints remain, our body fat, and how we can retain our vocabulary.
So having the self confidence, for what matters the most to you, or for the ease which comes with knowing who you really are, for there’s no one who’s earned this knowledge, than who would exchange them to be 20 once again.