It’s been proven time and time again that in the real world, it’s Emotional Intelligence (EQ) that’s more important rather than a high IQ, which propels individuals to succeed in life.
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to function better in any social or work related situation by understanding, and then comprehending, managing, and reacting, to be able to concisely convey ones thoughts.
When it comes to employment readiness and performance, this according to the various Employment Talent Agencies available, those who display better overall work performance will generally possess higher EQ, while the underachievers will usually have a lower EQ.
Emotional Intelligence is the key in maintaining the development, the formation and the maintenance of managing close and personal relationships.
Unlike Intelligence Quotient (IQ,) which is pretty much stagnant or may even drop during one’s lifetime, EQ can increase and evolve over time provided there’s the desire to do so.
1.) – Knowing And Managing Your Negative Emotions
One of the key structures of gaining control and developing higher EQ is to effectively control your negative emotions.
Whatever makes you moody, arrogant, or have you display a temper tantrum, this usually at the most inopportune times, is a correction that you need to make.
What negative emotion does is it will overwhelm as well as affect your true judgment.
So to feel better about yourself, what needs to be altered is how you think and approach it. There are methods on how you can identity and then eliminate your negative feelings.
This begins with examining the very nature and root of your negative experiences, and then relating it in a way to effectively reduce the negativity.
2.) – Staying Cool And Calm Under Pressure
There’s always some levels of stress in our daily lives. It’s how we manage this stress that makes all the difference.
Are you reacting by being assertive or reactive. When we are under pressure, it’s important to remind yourself to be as calm and calculating as possible, by thinking on your feet.
• If you’re feeling upset or mad at someone, before you decide to say anything that you may regret, take a step back and take a deep breath. If the situation is toxic, start counting from 10 to 1 backwards. In the majority of circumstances, by the time that you reach 1, you’ll most likely and hopefully have decided on a better method of dealing with the issue.
Find a solution which will diffuse the situation rather than escalating it higher. If you find yourself still upset, then turn your back and rethink the situation at a later date once you’ve calmed down.
• If you’re feeling a little anxious or nervous, literally try splashing a bit of cold water on your face, or go outdoors and take a few deep breaths for a few minutes, as fresh air will do a world of good.
Cooling down your internal temperature will usually reduce your anxiety levels. During tense times, avoid drinking coffee or alcohol, which can increase your nervousness.
• If you’re feeling discouraged, depressed, failure or fear, try some type of cardio exercise such as aerobics, biking or jogging. This will inject oxygen into your body and brain while making you feel and become energized.
The way that you treat your body affects how you feel. What motion does is it dictates your overall emotional state. So once you revitalize your body, then your confidence and energy should return.
• If feeling confused, overwhelmed, or uninspired, the best solution can also be going outdoors. The fresh crisp air will clear your mind without fail. So go take a walk around the block, at the park or near a lake, and surround yourself with what mother nature has to offer.
When walking, make sure you look as far into the horizon as possible while taking soothing deep breaths. This will empty out your mind and replace it with a different perspective.
3.) – Reading And Reacting To Social Cues
Individuals who display high EQ are usually more accurate in perceiving and then interpreting emotional cues in others, along with their physical and verbal expressions.
They also know when and how to communicate effectively by stopping or clarifying others intentions if they are unclear. So listed are a few tips on increasing your social acuity:
• When you come across an expression that you don’t understand or seen before, then you should quickly determine and interpret before you assume anything.
For instance, you phone someone and they don’t immediately return your call. You instantly assume that the person is ignoring you, instead of thinking that the person might actually be extremely busy.
Once you avoid judging other people’s behavior, you can then perceive their actions with more objectively. People will do whatever they do for themselves first, rather that because or for you. So widening your perspective on others will usually reduce any possibility of misunderstanding.
• Always seek clarification if you’re unsure. If required, just ask the person in question to clarify on why they’re behaving in a certain way.
Begin by asking generic open ended questions such as: “I’m just wondering, can you tell me why….” Make sure that you ask without being judgmental. Listen to what they say and if it fits with their body language. Do they match each other.
4.) – Be Assertive While Expressing Tough Emotion
There are certain situations when it becomes important to set boundaries, so others will know exactly where they and we stand.
These includes outright disagreeing, saying “no” without feeling any guilt, protecting ourselves from harm while setting our own priorities.
When doing so, avoid using sentences or words which begin with “You” which is followed by some type of judgment, such as “you should” or “you are…”
Using “You” then followed by these types of directives will usually make the listener defensive, making them less likely to listen to what you have to say.
5.) – The Ability To Be Intimate
The ability to express intimate expressions can be viewed as a method of positive connection, between two individuals who are wanting a closer relationship.
Those who have high EQ constantly displays affection in their words.
For instance, when you’re able to say to someone:
• “How are you feeling?”
• “I really appreciate you”
• “I’m really glad that we’re spending this time together”
• “You’re my best friend”
They are all excellent examples of displaying a mature EQ level.
Other signals include displaying proper body language, genuine non-flickering eye contact, smiling, patting ones back or arm around the shoulder area.