We’re never told this by our parents or our educators, we never hear this from our employers, and that’s we’re destined to fail, by default, before we can expect succeess. That the path to success is a narrow one, which is riddled with mistakes.
What everyone wants however is to become instantly successful. As a result, the self improvement industry has become one of the most lucrative in the world.
They tell you to follow their plan to instantly capture success. If you fail, you’re not trying hard enough, it’s your fault.
They should make “failure” a mandatory lesson in grade school. That failure is the first thing you should expect, before getting better.
Born As Failures
We all came into the world getting slapped and then cried, which is a sign of failure in itself. We then develop a series of incoherent murmurs, before we speak our first word.
It’s also the moment we get our greatest encouragement from our parents. “Look, Johnny said his first word.”
What we do is fail thousand of times before we finally utter an intelligent sound.
Our First Failures
What we then do is struggle as we learn how to walk, as we constantly fall numerous times.
Our parents encourages us by holding our hands up in the air, while dragging us across miles of carpet burn, until we can finally take our first step.
What they will do is constantly prop us back up on our feet, while cheering us on enthusiastically, yelling, ”Come on Susie, you can do it, you can walk!”
Then finally, eventually, our human instincts take over as we hobble along much like a drunken sailor, as our parents yell out, “She’s done it. Susie is finally walking!”
We Fail First
Everything we do in life, there’s always a certain amount of failure we should expect, before we finally get it right.
But failure, even failing just once, is something most can’t face or overcome. Children are much more resilient.
For instance, one of the biggest joys as a child is learning to ride a bike, the freedom it gives you.
It can take weeks of struggle, hurt bloody bruised knees and wounded pride as we constantly fall, just not getting this balancing on two wheels concept right.
It then becomes the biggest achievement of our young lives. We learn to ride a bike, which can take us for hundreds of miles of exploration, as this is the first freedom we experience.
Life Is Full Of Pitfalls
As we grow older and our challenges begin to harden, our conquests becomes bigger as we need to overcome new ideals to mature. By now, we’re conditioned to fail, as some become intimidated by it.
This fear of failure is what halts many from reaching their potential in life, as there comes a time when they’ll stop trying altogether.
The reason is because we’ve faced failure one too many times, and think we’ve reached our limit, we can’t proceed any further. We no longer want to experience the hurt again.
We don’t want to go beyond that last failure we’ve just encountered. We then feel defeated, a loser, that we’re destined to fail in life and we expect it.
Many don’t realize failure is the default switch and what we should be expecting first, as what it’s doing is teaching us lessons before we can finally get it right.
The Sun Still Rises
What we then do is become timid, intimidated by constantly failing, thinking we’re no good because we always fail at everything we try, that we must be failures at life.
As we begin to grow older, and with every passing day, we can’t tolerate this constant rejection, as the fear of failure envelopes, and we begin to make more excuses than dreams.
That’s when life starts to turn and becomes cruel, as we begin to meet others like ourselves.
Unsavoury, troubled, in a bad mood, who’s beaten and demoralized by the big bad world.
What these similar individuals will then do is pound us down further into oblivion, confirming our poor station in life. Woe is me and you.
It Begins At Home
That’s why such a safe positive reinforcing home environment is critically important. Once the home itself becomes dysfunctional as it can, then the support system no longer exists.
In some cases, it’s our own short circuiting family, the narcissistic father or the submissive mother, who contributes and confirms our negative experiences.
Then they become our biggest critics and antagonists, instead of constructively encouraging us to become a successful citizen.
When we’re constantly told we can’t do something, we’re not smart enough, when the hugs, the affection and the encouragement disappears, our world turns dark and negative.
What To Expect
But cheer up, because you now know what to expect. That once you set your sights on doing something new, you can expect to fail first, and you shouldn’t become disappointed.
We were able to talk, walk with fierce determination when little, trying numerous times, constantly failing, until finally succeeding.
We’ve all overcame the initial obstacles of life, we learned how to count, read, write, we failed until we finally got it right.
Never Stop Trying
What we once had was the will to overcome any failure, then we eventually stopped trying. We then allowed these failures to compound.
We don’t know when or why, but these defeats became a way of life, filled with can’t do or won’t do.
What we gain is experience by making mistakes, overcome poor judgment, then prevail. This is the natural progression of the success cycle.
Once you wake up tomorrow to battle the world, keep in mind any type of failure is a stepping stone before you can eventually experience success.