Narcissistic personality disorder is an extremity, as they are one of the most alarming and important subjects there is, just ask someone who is narcissistic. Are you talking about me? It’s one of the key issues of an emotion with the absolute absence of empathy.
There’s the look at me, I’m more important, I’m older, I’m better looking than you posturing. Their grandiose plans of idiocy.
The rage which occurs if they’re ever called out on the slightest of their imperfections, or if they’re suspected of making even just the most normal of human mistakes.
But going beyond the obvious traits, what can be easily missed are the subtle features which allows narcissists to sneak into and cling on to your life, and wreak a trail of havoc and destruction.
A narcissist can be too good to be true in the eyes of those who are devoid of love.
The soon to be perfect partner, the love of their life appears like Prince Charming or a Barbie doll in disguise, rather than the deceitful callous individual they may prove to be later.
So if you look close enough, there will be some tell-tale signs of trouble brewing which can be easily overlooked, or not obvious at the beginning.
When it comes to real life situations, they won’t usually advertise their malevolence.
So what to do, how can anyone protect themselves from these narcissistic personalities who may slip, slide, and slither into your life unnoticed and unannounced.
There are certain warnings, “red flags,” to tread carefully if you ever begin catching even a glimpse of any of these disorders, which may initially be subtle.
1.) – Fragmented Childhood Family History
Narcissism appears to stem from being born into dysfunction or neglect, which crawls towards creating insecure attachments.
The core fact with narcissists, for all their at times posturing, is insecurity. This remains the easiest way to spot one.
Those who are insecure seek attention, and can’t usually talk coherently when it comes to their family, their childhood, or themselves.
Some of their earlier memories are confused, blank, contradictory, while being riddled with holes.
You can spot a narcissist because their childhood story they gave you makes no sense, the patterns are broken.
The most common myth they’ll tell you, is a story about the picture perfect fairy tale like family they grew up in.
So if they give extremely high praise for their family you’ve never met, while the reasons come across as vague or discursive, then be aware.
The devil is in the details, and the reason why you’re not meeting their friends or family immediately.
2.) – They Worship Their “Idols” And Themselves
One common narcissistic tendency is that they’ll place certain people, the “hero’s” they admire on pedestals.
This is completely logical to them as they think that if they’re able to find someone perfect, and could be close to them, some of the glitter might rub off on them.
They as a result think they’ll be perfect like them as well.
The fact that nothing is perfect is usually lost on them, until they eventually discover their idol has clay feet.
People who are attracted to them, then need to stand back and be aware of this suddenly disappointed narcissist.
Be prepared to conform them back into their image of perfection, regardless of how the compulsive flattery might feel.
3.) – Constant Feelings Of Insecurity
Narcissists will usually say and do things which may be obvious, or subtle in nature which won’t make you feel that smart, not as accomplished or competent as them.
It’s almost like they’re saying, “I don’t like feeling insecure so I will pass these feelings on to you.”
Picture your boss or older sibling who constantly questions your methods, while always defending their own. It’s never their fault.
This especially if their decision goes off kilter, and then begins blaming you and everyone else but themselves, this even if it was clearly their mistake.
Another instance is if they give you faint praise, such as, well this time, “you did a good job,” but you know they really don’t mean it.
What the narcissist loves is to knock you down and out, only so they’ll appear more brighter or more important than you by comparison.
4.) – Give Me A Bit Of Emotion
Displaying feelings are a natural consequence of the human condition, and as a result, we’ll normally display a variety of these emotions during the normal course of an interaction.
But having or displaying emotion while in the presence of others suggests that you can be vulnerable, influenced emotionally by them, such as in front of your family or friends, or externally by secondary events, such as failure.
Narcissists don’t like being influenced this way, as they hate to admit that others are able to affect them emotionally some how.
So instead, what they’ll often do is change the subject once any feelings begin to arise.
They despise showing their emotions such as they getting angry. To them, it’s like pulling teeth with a pair of pliers.
It hurts too much for them to admit they’ve reached their boiling point, or that they’re feeling something.
Narcissists often loathe feelings, and they can’t bear being at the mercy of the preferences of others, as what that means is they’re not completely independent, or aren’t vulnerable.
5.) – The Need To Control Everything
Rather than they expressing their needs or preferences themselves, they would rather instead arrange events while maneuvering or manipulating people, orchestrating the exact outcome they desire.
In extreme cases, this can be regarded as abusive or controlling behavior, such as they’ll ask for something to be done, and if it’s ignored, they may get upset.
For instance, they may get upset because dinner wasn’t ready the instance they got home.
In the majority of the cases, these instances of attempted control are a lot more subtle than being outright abuse.
So be aware if anyone makes you nervous regarding certain topics, or when sharing your own preferences.
Narcissists will force making choices, feel they’re off limits without expressively saying so.
It becomes more like a war of attrition on your will, an outright assault on your feelings and freedom.