The majority of us don’t have a clue how we come across to others. Most don’t know themselves as well as they think they do. Many have no idea how their particular behaviour, attitude, their vibe is received by their friends or strangers.
What you emit is a distinct persona, an aura which others instantly pick up on, one you’re most likely not aware of.
There’s a common word which describes the majority of us, and that word is we come across as just another average guy or gal.
We’ll use variants of this, as we’ll refer to someone by saying. “John is just a great guy,” or “Mary’s just your average, everyday type of worker.”
Who Art Thou
The truth being, we never know what’s boiling underneath the hood of any individual we meet, what their intentions are.
Our first impressions, are usually the only real method of gauging if they’re actually average or not.
Getting inside someone’s head, knowing what they’re thinking, or trying to understand them is too difficult.
The reason is because we really don’t know who we are, ourselves.
The reason is because what the majority of people do, is live their lives of quiet desperation.
All we do is struggle with our identity, what makes us tick, how we fit in with others and with society, battle what our particular demons are.
There are a lot of dimensional elements, factors when it comes to how successful or effective we are around others.
Who Are You – Assessing Yourself
Who you are, how you’re perceived on first impression, becomes a key point and important to know.
This because we’re always being assessed, judged by others, while we also constantly judge them.
The sooner you begin knowing what the invisible “tells” you’re giving off are, the aura you send off, the sooner you’ll begin to command others.
Once you do so, the more successful you’ll be when it comes to advancing your career, or establishing better relationships.
Subscribing to the theory success is all about knowledge and experience, is not entirely true.
The Art Of Reading People
Some have a very good talent of assessing people, usually instantaneously, the moment they meet someone. These highly accomplished people, have an instinct for it.
What the rest of us will generally do, is just lump whomever we meet into two distinct categories:
• Those who we like and want to know better, and
• Those we don’t like and will avoid or ignore
I Like You… I Like You Not
If you happen to like someone, the keepers, we welcome them, help them as much as possible, nurture them.
If we don’t like someone, then we don’t want anything to do with them, we’ll just avoid them, write them off.
To decide if you want to “keep” someone or cut them loose, comes down to their behaviour. The invisible cues they initially give off, their aura.
Individuals such as business executives are usually trained to instantly look for certain behaviour traits in people, to determine whether their keepers or not.
The Behaviours Of Those You Like And Keep
Once you initially meet someone, you first notice there’s that fire, that spark, which burns in their persona. You see and feel that energy in their eyes.
They display that competitive spirit at all times. They display or speak of courage to take a risk, expresses their thoughts concisely, will cut directly to the chase.
The “I will do whatever I need to, to get what I want,” mentality. Willing to take direction and anything you ask without question or doubt. A “How can I help you,” attitude.
They make things happen, will make commitments and promises, and will fulfill them.
They are enterprising, immediately decisive, problem solvers, displaying extreme passion in everything they do.
How they come across is humble without a trace of ego, and has developed a fine sense of humour.
Those You Don’t Like
They come across as an arrogant know it all, yet they’ll become instantly rattled once they’re confronted or challenged.
What they display is entitlement, are non-committal, and will give off an “It’s all about me” vibe. They also stay and play safe, don’t like taking risks.
They’re boastful of any small accomplishment, while being annoying about it. These know it all’s will make a boatload of promises, which goes unfulfilled.
They have a trait of making excuses, and will easily point fingers and deflect blame.
They’ll usually come across as flaky, insubordinate, always needs to be right, don’t like to be told what to do.
They’re not willing to go that extra mile, do more than they’re asked. What they come across as is egotistical, rude, and arrogant.
So How Do You Come Across
The majority of people have no clue, and are unaware of the vibes they send off to others. What they want to do is come across as adjusted as possible.
Realize when you meet someone for the first time, you usually come across as average, bordering on being boring to them.
You’ve either got the exact behavioural traits they’re looking for, or you don’t, and you have no idea which.
You are either instantly liked by them, or they write you off as not being liked. So it becomes important to know the exact impression you give off.
If you don’t want or bother to find out what they are, well, that’s average as well. What you need to do is know who you are, and put your best face forward.
If you think you know how you come across, think there’s no need to improve yourself or adapt, then you’re not normal, you’re in denial.