What your face and body does, is sends out subliminal messages to others, this regarding your mood, whether you like them or not, all while displaying your aura. What your body language does, is invites or scares others away. So learn the reasons why, and what you can do about it.
Without saying a single word, what others once they meet you, will instantly do is evaluate the type of person you are, who you are. This includes getting a fairly good idea, on what you may be thinking or feeling. These cues are picked up by observing body language, which are the messages sent out by your body gestures.
What some experts in body language claim, is that just 7% percent of our messages to others, are communicated by the words we speak. The rest, is conveyed through body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions.
As infants, all we could do was send out non-verbal messages, on how we we’re feeling, this through posture, gestures, crying, and facial expressions.
Babies before learning to talk, the only way to monitor how they’re feeling, is by observing their behavior, while listening to their tone of gurgles for clues. Attempting to decipher what type of mood they’re in, what they’re trying to say.
What people react to first is body language, including the tone of voice along with facial expressions and the vibe they emit, this once first meeting someone. All while we not always been consciously aware, of doing so.
So what type of messages are you sending to others, with your gestures. Does your body language encourage someone to approach you, or are you subconsciously warning them off.
Become mindful of knowing how you stand or sit, when you initially meet someone. What are you doing with your hands, where are you looking during conversations with them. Is your face expressing interest in those you’re talking to, or does your eyes dart aimlessly.
Know Your Presence
When you’re sitting or standing, do you usually cross your arms across your chest. Realize how others are interpreting this posture.
What most don’t realize, is that crossed arms in front of you, is a subconscious signal that you don’t want to be approached, or are aloof. What most will then do is pick up on this, and avoid you because of this posture.
If you stand awkwardly with your head slumped forward, your shoulders drooping, and your eyes avoiding everyone, others will likely decide that you’re depressed, or completely lack confidence. They may fear that trying to talk to you, will be an awkward boring experience.
When standing tense, what you’re projecting is that you’re not a confident lively fun person. That you’re not alert, and have no interest in the people around you. It appears you’d rather be somewhere else.
Regardless of how desperate you want someone to come over and befriend you, if your body language projects awkwardness or disinterest towards them, it’s not likely that anyone will attempt to approach you, let alone start a conversation.
Understand Your Body Language
There are certain body language signals, which forces others to avoid you like the plague. There are also warm invitation signals, that will encourage someone to come forward and approach you.
What you can do is appear a lot more inviting, once you adopt mindful body language, that’s open and non-threatening.
Whether you’re sitting or standing, aim for a posture that’s upright and attentive, relaxed and openly loose. If you notice that your chest or shoulders are slumping, then straighten up.
Become aware of the way that you’re breathing. Does your breath move in and out of your chest smoothly, or is it jerky with gasping stops and starts.
If you notice that you’re holding your breath, or breathing shallow, that’s a sign of anxiety that’s picked up by others. Rapid breathing, means you have to breathe more often, which increases your appearance of being nervous.
Consciously, tell all the muscles in your body to relax. Use your abdomen, to help you breathe smoothly and deeply. Allow the bottom part of your lungs, to fill up with air before breathing out.
Know Your Body Gestures
Know what you’re doing with your hands. Once getting nervous in social situations, what you do with your hands always feels like the wrong thing. Then the first instinct is to cross your arms, since you have no idea what to do with them.
The best way to look friendly, open and approachable, is by loosely keeping your arms at your sides, or casually placing one hand in your pocket, appearing relaxed and at ease.
If you need to hold something in one hand, then keep that hand at the side of your body and not in front of you. What holding that arm in front of your body does, is sends a signal that you’re wanting to defend yourself somehow, which appears like a hostile gesture to others.
Be Aware Of Your Surroundings
Always remain aware and mindful, focused on your immediate surroundings and the people around you. Always stay calm, remain erect and relaxed, appearing like an interesting approachable person.
Once you find yourself tuning out your surroundings, what happens is you begin focusing too much on your negative inner sensations and thoughts. This can quickly elevate your anxiety, that others will notice.
One of the biggest reasons, whether someone will approach you or not, is your facial expression. In most cases, a gentle pleasant inviting smile, is all you need.
Know that a forced smile appears uncomfortable, creepy and nervous. Always illuminate your warm inviting eyes while never staring, which shows to everyone that you’re friendly and sociable.