How Social Media Can Be A Painful Reminder Of A Spent Life

not going on social mediaSocial media for some remains a burden, as they’ll refuse to join Facebook, this in the fear of bringing up an unsettled past, or not wanting to expose their current life to others. They’ve hidden their lives from others successfully for years, so why reveal it now.

You enjoy your privacy, a quaint pace of life that’s decorated by an active successful career. But yet, there’s a sense of discontent that’s felt, one that Facebook can possibly cure. The need to reconnect with coworkers, family, and those you went to school with.

You’re gratified with the direction of your life, you’ve successfully sped past your peers on a life journey gone right. Yet, for some reason, you refuse to pronounce your life by exclaiming it to others.

The reason may be because of guarded memories tucked away long ago, memories of your younger self, perhaps rejected, vulnerable, or taunted. These confusing memories become triggered once someone asks why you’re not on Facebook.

To Prove Something
So you recall yourself as a young child, your first day of school, eager to make new friends, a life where there wasn’t really that much expected of you.

Your parents may of been on the lower end of the socioeconomic scale, so you felt different, which presented the challenge to motivate yourself to excel.

Thankfully, you moved beyond those experiences, as that period of your life now seems distant, far away, and now completely irrelevant. Something that you wanted to dismiss.

To Revisit The Past
Then imagine to your surprise these decades later, a former classmate, someone who may of been an ally or a distant friend, wants to reconnect with you on Facebook. You reply, “I don’t have a Facebook account.”

Their initial reaction may of be visceral, thinking, “Are you kidding me?” Their mind debating on how abnormal that is, unclear of what the motive or purpose behind it is.

The Story Of Your Life
Some don’t bother with a Facebook account because of paranoia, feeling foreign, a refusal to disclose personal information, to display their life on a public forum.

Connecting with others on social media, getting birthday wishes or comments on their posts, remains uncomfortable to them.

The platform that is social media is to bridge past relationships, good or bad, and contact could remain minimal. This renewal of connection however, can spring hurtful memories some don’t care to revisit.

The Past Is Done
Most don’t forget the memories of peer rejection, being excluded, feelings of isolation because of being different, which can leave an imprint on life that’s hard to shake.

So what you did was effectively hide all those painful memories in their proper context, but suddenly, because of the transparency that is social media, springs these emotions to the forefront.

The Exposure Of Self
Why some choose to put their life on private, and refuse to participate on Facebook, is because it triggers all the uncomfortable feelings of a past life that they don’t care to expose again.

Know this is normal and it doesn’t mean that you’re regressing. All it means is that you may of felt inadequate, not good enough or vulnerable at one point in your life, and the memory still stings and lingers.

So give it its place, give credit to the part where you were able to survive the experience and excel, while doing so on your own terms.


What no one deserves is to be mistreated, although we realize that a fair number of individuals may experience various forms of injustice.

The majority will go on to live satisfying successful lives, and often have more dedication and compassion because of it, while Facebook is kept on the back burner to muffle the memories.

The Experiences Didn’t Define You
In fact, what the past discretion’s did was motivated you forward, this towards building a more fulfilling and productive life, one that others can only dream of.

On the other hand, if one’s life wasn’t as fulfilling as they’d like it to be, then they find the solace and support that they need on social media.

What you and everyone else has is this great potential of rediscovery, while the fear of expectations can interfere with the belief in yourself.

“Friends” On Social Media
Some will find themselves facing interesting decisions, this when it comes to reconnecting with all their previous friends on social media.

What Facebook does is it provides this unique opportunity for people to connect with each other, and at times, can confront old challenges or clear the air.

If these challenges triggers memories of hurt, then it can become confusing. They may even be worthy of a friend request denial.

If someone feels compelled, revisiting the experiences through the lens of greater context, then it can become extremely powerful.

Just To Find Peace
So you refuse to participate on social media. Some find peace in accepting the previous events of their life for what it was, while feeling more compassion for their younger self.

What’s acknowledged is that you not only survived, but even thrived through it. You’ve finally come to terms with the humanness, this through the potential of the cyber “friend.”

Then without realizing it, social media can be a vehicle to heal, and in that respect, can make new friends with a part of your past that you’ve stored away.

Reconnecting or making new friends even if they were hurtful memories can help in healing from the experiences of rejection or neglect.

The good news is that this new found courage and reflection, can help in making more sense of the past, putting previous angst to rest.

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