Facebook, why does it make us look so bad. It makes us seem upset and pouty where everyone else appears completely happy. It’s just a site, but how can we allow a bunch of virtual bits and bytes influence and dictate our lives so much.
It’s a chronic human habit that we overestimate others, thinking that they’re better, bigger, smarter, or richer than us. It’s a common human tendency to compare ourselves with others, to see if we measure up. So when others appear happy, we then begin wondering why we’re not as chipper.
Most now see Facebook as the most important destination to go to, a location where we meet others, and we don’t care if it’s virtual or not. This is where we compare ourselves to others, to see who’s doing better. We automatically fall into the trap of thinking that the “grass is always greener on the other side.”
Your Facebook Persona
Facebook allows anyone to create their own selective identity and portray their own personality. A social hub where it allows anyone to showcase their latest accomplishments or talents by displaying their most flattering pictures, their latest accomplishments, whether accurate or not.
If you happen to portray a negative image of yourself, it’s usually for the purpose of self-deprecating humor. It’s not to lead or to alert your closest friends that you’re not okay. On the other hand, if someone happens to post an unflattering “image” of you, you can just choose to remove the tag.
So you allow others, friends and Facebook acquaintances to just see your best side, your fun and loving personality. When you scroll down your news feed or peek on the “walls” of others, what that does is it feeds our misapprehension that everyone’s lives are perfect, or at the least, better than yours.
So by just posting the good things about your life and nothing else, you’re just creating an altered version of your life, a doppelganger of sorts, which is inherently not as complicated as what your real life is.
Why Your Facebook Profile Is Phony
So we all play into this same dynamic. You attempt to make yourself funnier, brighter, prettier, or tougher than anyone else. You want to stand ahead of all your real life and virtual friends.
That’s why you never really post the bad things in your life, status updates when you’re having a miserable day, or that negative experience you’ve just went through. This especially if you can’t somehow spin that experience into something humorous.
You may have created a narrative which is a bit untrue, so much so that once you catch up with a “real” friend live in person, and beginning sharing some of your less than pleasant moments, they had no idea. “Wow, I had no idea you were going through this. Your life looks so perfect on Facebook” they say.
Getting Real On Facebook
So what happens when you or your friends suddenly become brave enough to post your real life dirt online and not your superhero persona. You begin updating your status and it reflects your recent job loss, that sudden breakup, that weight gain, or that personal health crisis in the family.
There currently isn’t a Facebook button which allows us to “Care” for somebody. Any tragedy like a celebrity death, you still click the “Like” button, or if you publish anything negative, it’s always still the “Like” button that you hit. The virtual hug symbol isn’t going to cut it.
So why not begin revealing more of your real life on Facebook when you post your next update, “I just can’t take this constant rain anymore,” is not a cry for help but the actual truth.
Since Facebook is so vague and generalized, and everything is such a happy place, life is never about struggling. The alternate life which is Facebook, everything is a lot friendlier and perfect for you and everyone else.
Your latest status update regarding your life will quickly get buried anyways so no one will even notice. Instead, everyone reads the, “Look at my funny cat” picture. That’s why it’s becoming important to reach out to others in real life.
The Internet Is Making Us Isolated
There’s a real fear that’s developing according to most experts, who feel that the technological world which we currently live in is creating complete disconnection and less socialization rather than better connecting us.
We are now continuously avoiding interacting in real life, such as actual “face to face” meetings, or picking up the phone and talking to someone rather than texting or emailing.
What were doing is being “alone” together. So why not prove that we can still be together, and not exist in virtual pretend. Using all of these hi-tech conveniences which gives us a glimpse into each others lives is shunning away our need to fully connect with someone for real.