The Need To Love Yourself First Before Loving Someone Else

Smitten you are once you meet someone new. With hope the sparks, the fireworks are mutual and potentially eternal. But why is it then so difficult to keep these juices flowing long term, when it comes to keeping sustainable everlasting relationships.

Why does that momentum, the once mercurial rise of affection in the relationship slow down, and then comes to a standstill.

Is it inevitable that any love affair after a certain period of time, the initial freshness will turn into doom, devastating boredom.

Or what can be worse is two individuals who were first in love, ends up absolutely despising each other to the point of destruction. Real love should be constructive, supportive, and grow.

The key is to love yourself first, love your dreams, love your mission, the reason for your existence.

Then surely enough, that wonderful person to fulfill your life will show up, and love you back equally if not more.

The Lifespan Of The Living

Everything that’s living has a certain lifespan, a cycle. Imagine a blossoming red juicy plum, which will eventually transform itself into a wrinkled dried-up prune.

This luscious fruit has taken its course, the freshness and the vitality will eventually be completely sapped out.

Its life has completely evaporated, while the exterior shell is still there, its innards are depleted. All the pleasure, the fun, the love is gone, what remains is vinegar.

That Beginning Of The Relationship

In the beginning of any relationship, the juices activate and flows rapidly throughout your body, and are electrified by the attention and the interest of meeting that someone new.

Everything becomes vivid, you blossom, your body becomes fulfilled with all that attention.

This is the ultimate form of human energy, and this energy is what makes you flow. This makes every cell in your body tingle.

One Sided Love Affair

This ideal romantic relationship however, is short circuited. This love affair is energized by someone else, your other half, rather than you sustaining it yourself.

What you need to realize is you shouldn’t need this “other half” for you to be happy and productive.

Realize to be complete, being an entire person, you need to learn how to activate both your feminine and masculine energy.

This balance of internal duo force is what makes you complete, so any love can last forever.

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An Energy Crisis

Once you begin to depend too much on the energy of the other person, you’ll feel the need to possess or be possessed by this person, to fulfill your daily energy needs.

When you’re not able to balance and establish your own energy, you’ll feel the need to control this person, to get the energy you can’t generate yourself.

This can become tragic, since what you need to do is control that person at all times, as you become an energy vampire.

Then one day, they’ll feel depleted and start giving their energy to someone else, depriving you. Then what will you do.

You would most likely begin to collapse, while you get desperate to stay in control.

The definition of control, is the possession of something that’s not yours, while reducing that other person to be an object.

It’s no longer seen as a loving relationship, but someone that needs to be manipulated.

Don’t Be A Control Freak

In the end, you know you can’t control someone else, and thinking you can doesn’t give you peace of mind. You’ll then be continually subjected to anxiety, which turns into fear and anger.

Every time you feel you’re losing control, your anger will appear, you’ll throw a tantrum, in the attempts to gain back that control.

No relationship can withstand this type of pressure, so it will collapse. Then you end up alone again.

The Staying Game

What you then do is begin this cycle all over again with someone new. So how do you stop this merry go round and find a love that lasts.

Begin by concentrating on yourself, rather than on trying to find love in someone else.

Once you find what your mission on this earth is, what’s most important to you, you’ll then be filled with self sustaining energy.

Know Who You Are First

You need to first find out how to become a complete balanced person, and you have to do so all by yourself.

You need to set attainable goals for yourself and do everything you can to reach them, on your own, without help.

Stick to your dreams, before meeting someone new again. Remain that person and be that person, instead of clinging on to someone else.

Find Who You Are

Keep your dreams alive, remain loyal, never give what you don’t have. If you can’t be loyal to yourself, how can you be loyal to someone else. If you lose yourself, you’ll lose them.

Someone who really loves you will love you back even more, since they know you’re being true to yourself.

Someone who won’t love you because you follow your dreams, isn’t worth being loved by you.

If they get angry because you want to achieve your goals, then they’re not being supportive, and not for you.

If they become jealous because you have success and they don’t, then that’s their problem.

Be True To Yourself

Don’t ever lose yourself in the arms of another just for their sake. Find someone who loves you for who you are, then they will stay.

Focus on the reasons why you’re here, make that your first priority, then you’ll be loved for who you are.

To find true love that’s supportive, love your dreams, love yourself, and that wonderful person will show up and love you back.

Once you find self sustaining energy, then you’ll attract a love that’s everlasting.

1 thought on “The Need To Love Yourself First Before Loving Someone Else

  1. This is all so true and well stated! My husband changed over the first four years of our marriage. He became more angry, controlling, and easily upset over minor things. I found out about four years later that he had diabetes and had never been diagnosed, even though his mother and sister had it too. Because he continued to eat like he wanted to and take the insulin injections, he thought he was okay. But he wasn’t. After the major stroke, which he survived, his MRI of the brain showed he had had mini-strokes!! That could explain a lot of why he changed. He died in 2009 from heart failure. Since then, I have learned who I am and grown to realize that I was and am still intelligent. I am at peace and thankful for my life and my family. Sorry, if I wrote too much. You brought back a lot of memories of the past and the near past part of my life. Thank you.

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